Quick story. About 7 months ago, she decided to go for trial separation but things have basically been in a limbo since then.
https://lolaandola.com/5-positive-signs-during-separation/
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At the time, she was 8 months pregnant and taking care of 2 kids at the same time with no help whatsoever from the husband.
She would complain but he would just apologize and promise to work on it; then repeat the same cycle over again.
So she got tired of the empty promises and went for the trial separation. She thinks she is seeing some changes now but not too sure if he's faking it or he's actually doing the work.
There have been times in the past that she thought things were better even up to a year ago, forgave… but now... she wouldn't even allow him to touch her.
She claims the sex was horrible because of how she felt towards him at the initiation of the trial separation.
Though she took full responsibility for her portion of the decline in the marriage, he refused to see any issues which left her with no choice but to let him figure himself out.
Hence the separation that started 7 months ago.
Now, she is feeling much better but wants to know if there are any positive signs to look out for during this separation to determine if it's working in the favor of the marriage or if it's a lost cause.
So we want to share just five signs with you to look out for to determine if a good and healthy reunion is in sight.
Sadly in these modern times, most people trying to fight for their marriage end up in big English grammatical echo chambers where all they will learn is how to diagnose their partners psychologically.
You will hear diagnoses such as narcissism, controlling, insecure etc... to the point where they don't know how to recognize normal interaction any longer.
The sad part is that people, even when they are not professionals or have any experience, will make blanket bold statements such as once a... (fill in the blank)... always a (fill in the blank.)
So it becomes extremely hard to see a simple positive sign in separation such as becoming friends again.
This one thing is priceless and you can't buy it with money. Believe it or not, you can buy a wife, a husband, a girl or boyfriend. But you can't buy a friend.
So if you are in the middle of separation and you are noticing that friendship is finding its way back, that is a strong foundation to build upon if you are willing.
Well, the whole point of separation also involves physical distance. But we are humans and distance, they say, makes the heart fonder.
This is especially true if there was some type of friendship before things went completely left. If that was the case, friends who are also lovers tend to find their way back into the same space.
Maybe not necessarily living under the same roof, but you find that you are able to share space together even if it's with other mutual friends.
That, my friend, is a great foundation to start working on your marriage together.
Many separated couples do not have that luxury and it's worth appreciating and leveraging as a positive sign during your separation.
Again... simple but powerful.
Every separation comes with some damages that can creep back as resentments and try to destroy your marriage even after reconciliation and reuniting back together.
With the right tools, you can and will sustain such forces.
You are in a team together so you ultimately have a better leverage against any outside forces if you are aware of your power as a team.
Quick story.
For us... even after creating some damage, we would end up sitting and watching TV shows together, sharing links of memes, funny and viral videos back and forth.
If you are blessed with this type of scenario, that is a positive sign during separation.
Naturally you are observing your partner.
I say that because you may be using the "no contact rule" as a tool to boost attraction but hopefully-primarily to take time to boost your self confidence and self esteem.
But naturally you are observing your partner… at least occasionally.
We are talking about your spouse here... in the middle of probably the painful experience of separation on both sides.
So you are observing if we are being honest.
In that observation, are you noticing more acceptance of the reality of the possibility of the marriage ending for good?
I know this may be counter-intuitive.
But if you are noticing this, that's what you need because it's a sign of wholesomeness on your partner's part. It means the quality of being beneficial and generally good for you.
When you are self-sustainable as individuals, you dramatically increase the chance that your marriage will be self-sustainable and not drain life out of one or both of you.
Let me ask you a question...
Can you personally and confidently survive and thrive if you have to do that without your husband?
Please answer in the comment space below.
Listen. You are humans like the rest of us here. If you mistakenly broke your own rule and have sex with your partner during separation, that's could be a positive sign.
Sex can also be a negative sign. You may just be addicted to a terrible sex-based relationship.
If you are D or P whipped, when you clearly feel terrible emotionally after the session, that's a negative sign.
But if you lined up the other signs from sign number five to two that we previously shared with you, this is definitely a positive sign that you can turn into a foundation.
Speaking of foundation...
Don't attempt reconciliation or getting back together without engaging in good counsel, coaching or therapy. Healing is necessary in order to not create the same bad cycle all over again.
We are speaking from experience. We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.
Exactly who are you trying to serve leveraging digital marketing? I know you want to make more money. But where is this money coming from?
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Money comes from only one place. It doesn’t fall from the sky. We do not pluck it from a tree. It comes from other people. The money you are going to make comes from other people right?
In the previous chapter we talked about setting goals; smart goals to be precise. We also talked about why the desire to help someone is not enough to run a successful digital marketing campaign.
It definitely is not enough to “want” to be an entrepreneur. I also want to be Elon Musk within the next 24 hours. It’s highly unlikely that’s going to happen right?
So the act of “wanting something” is not enough, you will increase your chances of success when you set specific, meaningful, measurable and achievable goals.
We also talked about the differences between setting goals at micro and macro levels of the experience for your prospects, customers, clients, partners and whatever your audience is.
And I gave you actionable steps and real life examples of goal statements. That exercise was necessary because it represents the foundation of your journey in your digital marketing endeavors.
You will encounter multiple layers of variables that can turn to very complex problems that can potentially include losing serious money and worse; time and energy.
So it’s important to always reference that chapter if you ever feel lost in your business with regards to marketing and promotion in a digital age.
As a typical human being, you will get in over your head and lose focus at some point. It’s inevitable. But you can always trace your step backwards as far as to your original smart goal when necessary. I promise. It will happen.
In this chapter, we are going to talk about the person and not the people. I know I just said money comes from people. But if you don’t understand these people at a person by person level, you will miss it completely. Hence this lesson presented as a full blown chapter.
In December 2004 during my first encounter with real estate, I was so excited that I dropped a private class I was taking in mobile application development. Those were the days when you couldn’t watch long videos in the palm of your hands on the go.
We were learning coding, programming and simulating everything you know today as your smart phone in virtual environments. It was also my senior year studying Computer Engineering at New Jersey Institute of Technology (NJIT).
A friend of mine, (his real name starts with an ‘F’ but I will call him Jason)... He had informed me about a real estate home buying seminar in East Orange, New Jersey which he never showed up to. But I was sucked into real estate for life. It hit home for me.
Wow. I could just leverage mortgages to become a landlord who collects money month in and month out. So I started going on appointments to look at every house listed on the market starting with one house in Belleville… even though my credit score would have put me in a terrible position of high interest rate at the time.
The mortgage officer at the seminar had told me that my “500 and change” credit score will get me a property and I would become a landlord in a few weeks. A few weeks later, I stumbled into a late night infomercial and before I knew it, I ended up at another seminar which cost $3,000 that I didn’t have.
My friend Jason had agreed to partner up with me leveraging his credit card in exchange for paying it back in a few weeks with interest. Again, Jason did not show up but I was so excited that I could never forget that generosity as a foundation to what I am sharing with you today.
If he had shown up, I would have ended up on the wrong path which involved just any house without proper assessment. But what do I mean by assessment?
You see… Jason had agreed to partner up to buy a bunch of houses with me but not having easy access to buying by myself led me down the route of learning marketing properly. At first, it was about real estate right?
What I learned eventually is that it wasn’t about houses and real estate per se. It was more-so about finding deals and creating a profitable path starting from the beginning.
And that wasn’t the end of it. Profitable deals are sourced from real people’s stories and real life problems.
The common denominator in all of that and across multiple types of businesses is people, the endless questions they have in life and the inevitable problems they face in the pursuit of happiness. And in order to understand your market at a basic and foundational level, it’s wiser to understand “the person”.
So in the rest of this book, we may call it your market, your audience, the people, the avatar or the person. Who is the ideal person that your product, service or offer is designed for?
This person has a problem, a question or void and the value that your business brings is designed to fill that void.
The biggest mistake that the losers of digital marketing are making today is the assumption that everyone is their ideal customer. As soon as you post something on social media, you are asked to boost it with $10 in ad spend. And after spending that $10, it’s crickets.
Of course anyone can become a connection to an ideal client for your business, but it’s not wise to throw time, energy and money at everyone’s attention without proper market research and analysis. You will lose money.
There are two parts to market research and analysis which are absolutely necessary if you are going to spend your hard earned resources on digital marketing. The first part is about determining the market size. The second part is to realistically figure out how much of that market share you can cover; competition analysis.
It’s very likely that you are not the first to offer the solution that your product and services offer right? And if you are the first, that is not necessarily a smart move; you better know what you are doing.
Many times, I hear aspiring entrepreneurs proudly boast about being the first to do something. Listen. It’s most likely that you will not be Bill Gate or Elon Musk. These are historical “firsts” of tools that we all enjoy today but this kind of entrepreneurs come but once in a lifetime.
So let’s be realistic. Your product, service, offer and/or business have direct and indirect competition. That means you are not going to be able to capture 100% of the market share.
The market is going to have segments that are highly competitive and other segments with low competition. The low competition segments tend to also have a lower percentage of the market share.
But the real question is this. Is there a market? Is there a “person” who has a direct or indirect need for the solution that your business offers? If there is, how many persons can we realistically identify?
Last but not least, is there any other business or anyone else already providing a similar or indirect solution to these people’s problems?
These are the questions that must be answered before you try to set up a digital marketing campaign in order to avoid losing money or worse; time and energy.
Let’s make it clear.
When you determine the size of the market first, you are able to decide from the beginning if a market or business is worth going after or not. If you don’t, you may just be moving off your own passion-driven biases. As a human being, you naturally gravitate toward certain types of businesses for different reasons.
Maybe a friend of yours seems to be enjoying a business model and the reality is that you truly do not know the intricacies of what it takes to be in that business successfully or to look like success on the outside.
You don’t know what you do not know. Many businesses are laundromats and many people will take Peter’s money to pay Paul just to look like success on the outside. And many do that as a strategy of hope. Hope is a terrible marketing and business strategy.
So instead of operating your marketing from a place of hope down the line, you are able to assess the market size and see upfront if it’s worth going into a particular business or not.
The same is applicable at the microlevel of a business. You may be considering opening a different department. It’s going to cost you time, energy, money and other types of resources. Before engaging those resources, determine the market size and do a competition analysis.
You may identify some risk and you may just identify an opportunity bigger than what you envisaged. The benefits of doing this assessment is much more than avoiding a negative risk. It’s just a profitable habit to get into overall as an existing or aspiring entrepreneur.
To perform market research and competition analysis, there are simple, fun, free and paid tools available. But they are useless if you don’t even know what you are looking for. The most popular of them is the almighty search engine; Google.
At press time, Google is the biggest and most popular search engine that we all run to when we have a question. Dare I say, almost all research starts from Google including medical research by a medical doctor who may be getting ready to put an incision in you or your children’s body.
I know that’s scary right? But that’s the reality. I don’t know when you are reading this book and I don’t know tomorrow. Hopefully, I will continue to get the opportunity to update and offer new versions as we evolve into an ever evolving digital world.
So maybe the hottest search engine when you are reading this won’t be Google but it will always be some kind of search Engine. As humans, we are always searching, asking and creating new problems to solve. If you understand this, you will always be in business successfully.
Whatever your biggest and most popular search engine is will be your number one market research and analysis tool. Not the only one but always a great place to start from.
You can start by searching a seed keyword or keyword phrase on the search engine. What you will discover is the beginning of a journey through a rabbit hole with lots of useful information that will fuel your present level of excitement about the business you are trying to initiate.
This information will be grouped into a group of seven different categories listed as follows or similar.
Category Number 1: Observe the top 10 results generated by the search engine result page also known as the SERPS. Open each one of the results and see how your competitors are already offering solutions to your market. Also, determine how many pages are offering results already.
Category Number 2: Observe the top 10 automatically suggested searches by the search box. You may notice that as you are typing your seed keyword or keyword phrase, the search area is also auto-suggesting and attempting to populate the area ahead of you.
Take note of the different phrases from the artificial intelligence of the search engine. Each one of these is likely an additional opportunity for you to serve and make more money.
Category Number 3: Observe the “People also ask” section of the SERP. You will see the question that other people similar to people who search your seed keyword or keyword phrase are searching on the search engine. These are additional opportunities that most people engaging in digital marketing are not taking advantage of.
Category Number 4: If you are trying this on a smart mobile phone, I want you to observe the “People also search for” section for more ideas on angles to serve this market from.
Quick question. How many people advertising online today would you guess are patient enough to do this much market research before wasting thousands of dollars on digital marketing?
Category Number 5: There is another section which may not show on every device called the “Refine This Search” section. You should pay attention to it. This is the machine attempting to help your audience narrow down their search faster and easier to the answer.
The machines don’t create these answers from thin air. These are answers from your competitors being fed to a person who is potentially an ideal client of yours. When they are ready to spend money, guess whose pocket that money is going into. Your guess is as good as mine.
Category Number 6: Sometimes, your seed keyword or keyword phrase is too narrow for the search engines to find meaningful results and it can tell because of the growing machine learning and artificial intelligence technology.
So there is a section mostly on smart mobile phones called “Broaden This Search” on the SERP. This section will give additional ideas of exactly what is in the mind of that person that potentially and possibly-desperately needs your service.
Category Number 7: This section is probably the one you are familiar with if you also use Google to answer every question that comes to mind like me. It’s called the “Related Searches” section and it’s usually at the bottom of the screen if you are on a desktop.
If this section is populated, it’s an indicator that there is a market for the business you have in mind.
This is what I want you to do. I want you to come up with a seed keyword phrase for your business using this formula. The phrase will start with one of seven different types of phrases.
I want you to end each one of those phrases with a phrase that represents what your business offers.
For example, my digital marketing consulting business market research would start with “I want to market my business on Google.” Another example could be “where is the nearest digital marketing consultant?”
Come up with 100 different phrases like that for your business and attempt to search each one of them on your favorite search engine like Google, Yahoo or YouTube which is the 2nd biggest search engine at press time.
The top of the search engine result page will actually tell you how many results are generated. That’s a starting indicator of how many pages are competing for the attention of your ideal person, audience, market, customer or client.
After this exercise, you would have gotten to know that “person” a little more. And that means you are better equipped to serve the person a little bit more than your average competitor. It's a competitive advantage at worst.
Most people are going to shy away from this exercise and that increases your chances of dominating your market and leaving scraps for the rest.
These persons that your business will serve are in two different categories. They are probably searching for a solution already and secondly, they are already following your competitor.
Market research and competition analysis gives you an opportunity to find out where they are spending their time with that smart device in their hands and legally stealing them from your competitors.
The first category is called the intent based market audience and the second category is called the interrupt market audience. Let’s quickly break it down.
The intent based market audience is actively in the middle of intentionally searching and looking for a solution that your business provides.
On the flip-side, the interrupt-based market audience is not actively searching for a solution but we’ve been able to track their activities online and determine their interest based on their online behavior.
In that case, they would be interrupted in the middle of other unrelated activities online in order to get into their discovery zone. The journey of your ideal “person(s)” travels through four main stages namely:
In chapter 3, we will be diving through “value”, how to identify it and leverage it to create a smooth transition for your person(s), the market, from discovery all the way through conversion into a customer and long term client and even beyond.
In fact, with this same concept, you will be able to turn a decent percentage of your best clients to loyal evangelists for your business therefore creating even more revenue; all thanks to value.
Previously in Digital Marketing Certified, I shared a little bit of my story, my path to and through digital marketing from investing $2,000 to making $12. I also shared how it’s actually worse to get stuck in a rat race as an entrepreneur.
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You probably also learned for the first time that it’s cheaper and much more effective and efficient to leverage digital marketing to build a business than it is to spend your hard earned money on billboards and yellow books.
Okay. I know I didn’t mention yellow books yet. But you should know that it’s probably the biggest scam of the 2010’s because many people still spent millions of dollars literally on those two marketing channels long after it had become obsolete. Sure we still received it at the house but they went straight into the garbage right?
I am glad you are still reading because we are actually just getting started. Just like the last 10 years of digital marketing, that was all introduction.
This whole thing is about to be better and more exciting. We are just scratching the surface. And I’ve promised from the beginning, I want to take you on a journey that is so self explanatory, you couldn’t wait to apply to your own businesses and endeavors.
If you are like me, you shy away from attention. It’s like a taboo to seek attention beyond the average level of attention that you get when you go to work daily. But fortunately or unfortunately, you have to get attention when you have a product or service to offer. You can’t get stuck with that “I’m conservative” excuse.
I am speaking from experience. I know it may be hard to believe but I am introverted to a large extent. My natural instinct is to keep things quiet and win quietly. But that won’t work when you have a business to run with a goal to at least create more positive impact. Precisely, you need attention.
So Lisa just wanted to make money. That was the goal she thought. She had spent probably about $2,300 or more in different digital products in efforts to make money online. Not only that, she had abandoned some other traditional business she was trying to build.
This was the very early days of marketing online and it was an exciting idea particularly for those who were tired of chasing family and friends around to support their little businesses. For some people, the goal had become to shame those who never supported them, to prove a point or to seek validation from the wrong sources.
Lisa had just lost her life savings on investing in a traditional business and she wanted to make some quick money so that she can prove to herself that she can do it. But that is “it?”
This is also a tell-tale sign and little-to-no wonder why she lost money in the first place. Do you notice the vague nature of her goals?
Many people jump into digital marketing just like Lisa. It’s either a goal with respect to sentiments or goals set in the wrong direction.
The truth is that there are more than enough platforms online that will take your money and send you back into the streets without apologizing for it. It’s your responsibility to turn profit and their responsibility to take your money in exchange for access to the advertising platform.
After my first consultation with her, it was clear to me that we couldn’t move forward until I helped her set clear and concise goals. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
“What’s your goal?” “I want to get more clients.” “Why?” “Because I want to.” “Okay. I can’t help you.” “Why not?” “Because I can’t.” “Okay thanks.” That’s literally but probably an oversimplified version of the conversations.
But it’s actually worse now because anyone can jump on an advertising platform and lose money because it’s accessible.
Many of the online and social media ad platforms are advertising the easy to get started message. So people are jumping on, setting up an account without setting goals properly.
Digital marketing is a beautiful development in recent and modern times but there are more variables and layers to it than a typical human mind can contain or sustain at any point in time.
Therefore it’s easy to lose track of activities and potentially lose money just by the mere fact that you know what you want. You know your business more than anyone else and I’m sure you think you know who your ideal customers and clients are.
But that’s a problem. Let me explain.
For everything that you know about anything in life, there is always a blindspot. You can also think of such blindspot as a function of your biases based on your past experiences. Traditionally, that would be good enough to carry you for up to 5 years or even more with advertising your product and services.
However like everything else now in the human experience, what you knew yesterday can be easily obsolete today just like that. Things are moving so fast that the human brain can’t keep up. And what does this have to do with setting goals in digital marketing?
Wait. I’ll get there. As I was saying, you think you know your business. In fact, you too have your social media profile and participate as a consumer on those various platforms; but that’s it. As a consumer, you know these things.
In this book, we are focused on what it takes to be a profitable producer for the various digital platforms. Everything happens so fast and it will be a losing battle to attempt to keep up with it just by knowing what you want.
Knowing what you want is not enough to run digital marketing campaigns successfully. It’s precisely a good way to lose money or lose time and energy or run campaigns that will frustrate you and make you resent the idea of digital marketing all together.
Instead, I want to help you set smart goals. S.M.A.R.T goals. I promise. I am not talking about vision boards. And I am not knocking vision boards either. But they can be as vague as they get.
Knowing what you want is a good place to start but it needs to be aligned with quantifiable business goals and objectives.
Too many people work for 10 years or more, save good money and build excellent credit, run to the bank to get a loan.. Just off knowing what they want.
I have way too many stories of people who have had to start from scratch like that. Some of them even lose their family because of the financial stress on the relationships they care about. I can tell you that it starts from the foundation.
Once you’ve identified what you want from digital marketing, be it leads, sales, customers, clients, deals or to recruit quality team members into your organization, then it’s time to put that into black and white, assess and align with your business goals.
I want you to trace it to actual profits or whatever you want to call it in order to be able to afford doing it. The way I was raised, I also tend to shy away from the idea of maximizing profits. So I understand when people say things like “I just want to help people.”
That’s cute. But you also want to be able to afford doing it over and over again. Breaking even on the money, time and energy you spend on either a for-profit or non-profit organization will end up frustrating the whole thing. And then it becomes pointless.
So it’s very important to align what you want out of this with maximizing profits and business goals in order to define goals and business objectives properly for your digital marketing efforts. To suggest anything less than spelling it out like this for you is destructive behavior.
Your goals need to be defined in a quantifiable manner. Remember this was all about finding new opportunities to serve.
This could be a new student for your school or course, a new customer for your business, a new client for your private consulting practice, a new deal etc.
The bottomline is that these are people that will go from awareness of what you have to offer to consideration of your product or service and then hopefully to conversion. You could be a pastor and we could be talking about attracting new members to your church.
So this is going to be an experience for them from awareness or discovery to conversion. What are your goals? And how soon do you want to accomplish the goals?
In addition to that, I want you to be aware that the experience of your ideal customer, client or member will happen in segments. Some of them will discover you and convert to a customer right away, some will not convert till two years later and everything in between. Oh… and some will never convert.
You will set high level goals and you will also set goals to optimize the experience of the audience firstly by building brand and influence. “Branding and influence” all in itself sounds vague but we are able to quantify and track progress with digital marketing.
Back in 2009, when I first stumbled into digital marketing, it was easy to set up an experience and make money without branding but competition is a bit higher right now as digital marketing becomes more popular.
How do we know? We set high level goals such as a specific amount like say… One Million Dollars in Sale in One Year, but we also set micro-goals at every segment in the experience of your customer.
A smart goal will also help in a feasibility study before wasting your hard earned money on a project that will lead nowhere. Digital Marketing is for everyone but every campaign type is not for every business type. A smart goal will help us further in a feasibility study of a good campaign fit among so many opportunities.
Let’s spell out smart goals. S.M.A.R.T. And let’s break it down. I did not create this. From a little research, I found out that the smart goal is a concept that was created in 1981 by George T. Doran. Since I’ve personally learned about it, I’ve also seen different versions of it.
S for Specific - Your goal needs to be one thing at least defined as that… at a high level first before we break it down using a process called CBS (Campaign Breakdown Structure).
There is a book I will recommend and link up in the reference section at the end of this book called “ONE THING” by Gary Keller to help you understand the concept even more.
M for Measurable - The project management institute (PMI) called this “meaningful”. I think that is interesting.
What it means (no pun intended) is that you can actually measure your goal and therefore be able to track progress towards achieving it. “Speaking of achieving it…”
A for Achievable - How realistic is this goal? I know you may have heard and believe in all types of manifestation of your desires and all types of Jedi mind tricks and techniques to attract what you want in life. I believe in those things too.
But when you are setting up digital marketing campaigns that involve spending time, energy and possibly your hard earned money, I want you to make sure that you are doing so with respect to a realistically achievable goal.
The manifestation stuff depends on hope as a strategy but successful digital marketing campaigns depend on setting specific, meaningful and achievable goals.
Do you have the skills to achieve the goals? If you don’t, does someone on your team have the skills? Or do you have access to the necessary education to acquire the skills? That is obviously a “yes” because this is a great start in that direction.
If you will be dropping this book before you complete it, it’s best to throw any digital marketing related goals in the trash already. It will save you so much headache.
Without the direct or indirect access to the required skills and resources, especially education, you will lose money in digital marketing and it’s worse if you are losing it in the form of time and energy.
You can make money back but you can’t get time back. When people waste time, they are usually not valuing and tracking their time properly.
R for Relevant - I’ve seen other versions labeling this as realistic. But that would probably correlate more with the previous one which is “achievable”.
The relevance factor is moreso another level of making sure your goal for a digital marketing campaign aligns with your overall business objective. If it doesn’t, it becomes another distraction.
Personally, I resent all forms of distractions in business because frankly, I’ve been a victim of distractions multiple times in my business career.
Also, some of the advertising (or ad) platforms you will be setting campaigns up on have metrics for measuring relevance factor and quality score even at micro levels. So I want you to start adopting that mindset right now already at this higher level.
T for Time-Bound - And again, PMI called this “timely”. Remember, we are not just setting a goal of one million dollars in that previous example. We are setting a time frame because of the dangers of Parkinson's law.
What is Parkinson's Law?
Parkinson's Law is the old adage that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion. The term was first coined by Cyril Northcote Parkinson in an essay he wrote for “The Economist” in 1955.
When you don’t set a desired achievement time on a goal, you are still setting a time; forever or never. These are terrible timeframes for business. In fact, the ad platforms will stop taking your money eventually because they are set up to only work for folks who know what they are doing.
The whole point of this is to reiterate and reemphasize the importance of defining success up front and subsequently avoid unnecessary disappointments with your digital marketing campaigns. It’s a mindset and it’s the proper foundation before engaging too far and in too deep.
Here is an example of a goal statement.
Specific - “I want to write a book called Digital Marketing Certified (DMC).”
Measurable - “The book will have a minimum of 10 chapters and 30,000 words between 150 and 200 pages.”
Achievable - “Because I am busy with other endeavors, I can realistically achieve writing this book in about 12 weeks.”
Relevant - “Digital Marketing Certified (DMC) is relevant to my overall business goals because it will educate my friends on what I do, help me get more students and clients, educate my future clients first, and more importantly make projects 1,000 times easier for the team and stakeholders.”
Time-Bound - “The book will be ready for publishing in 12 weeks because I am committed to releasing a video version weekly on my YouTube channel. until release.”
I know what you are thinking. “OLA, what about an actual digital marketing goal statement example?”
I got you.
Specific - “I want to generate new clients at the $7,500 price point into my consulting business with digital marketing.”
Measurable - “I want to generate 13 new clients into my consulting business.”
Achievable - “I have 2 clients already generated from my last traditional word of mouth campaign leveraging a messaging app broadcast. I have generated some revenue, streamlined by prospecting process and I can do this 13 more times definitely.”
Relevant - “Getting 13 month more clients will not just put me at 15 clients which aligns with my overall business goals, it will also bring in more revenue so that I can invest in more efficient processes, acquire more resources and build my team. I don’t want to be a slave to the business.”
Time-Bound - “I want to acquire all 13 new clients in the next 90 days.”
So this is what I want you to do. Open an empty document on Google Docs and write your very own goal statement. If I were you and I am completely new to digital marketing, I would definitely print it out for my desk.
In the next chapter, we will dive into the next piece of the pieces that you need to understand deeply in order to create successful and profitable digital marketing campaigns.
Like me, I know you want to serve many people. But you must understand these people as individuals first and not as a group in order to create the most optimized impact as aligned with your overall business goals.
Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! So we received a comment on one of the best videos we've ever done called "Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation" from one of our 1,125 extremely valuable subscribers on YouTube; Queen.
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
https://lolaandola.com/unwanted-separation/
Make sure you search and check out that video once you finish watching this video.
She says... And I quote
“Going thru separation. I love and miss my husband. He asked to be alone for a year. What do I do while we are living apart?”
Queen. I’m sorry you are going through this. Separation is not easy on anyone. As devastating as it sounds, it sometimes can yield positive outcomes.
In fact, we are going to share 5 tips with you on how to dramatically increase the chance of making this season productive for you especially in spite of what it may feel like right now.
The marriage institution is exactly that; an institution. And all disrespect of the institution will lead to a terrible outcome which is a legal or spiritual evaporation of the marriage.
One of such disrespects happens when people get into marriages that lack explicitly identified purpose. It's also synonymous with a marriage with no clear vision from the leader.
So if there is no leader, even if it's temporarily, there is no vision and things fall apart.
At this point, Queen… you have to be realistic and identify your own life mission and purpose.
It's going to be instrumental in attracting your husband back to you if he belongs there in the first place.
Major focus has to be directed to building yourself up because it's about being worthy of attracting what you desire; even if that's your marriage and/or your husband.
Whatever you engage henceforth should either be your passion or some type of stepping stone towards your passion.
There is a tricky fine line between holding yourself accountable and not forgiving yourself. Everything in life is a double edged sword that can cut both ways.
Holding yourself accountable when your marriage seems to be failing is no different. You want to make sure that you've forgiven yourself for at least being what you may be perceiving as failure.
After all, failure is the stepping stone towards all forms of success.
Guilt, blame, condemnation and judgement will work against you because they will consume 10 times the energy you could use to improve yourself in order to attract love and your desires again.
He wants time off, let him go. The truth is that negotiating desire is always a terrible strategy because it leads back into this vicious cycle of resenting yourself.
If your husband has asked to be alone for a year, the reality is that he doesn't want to be alone because he is human; a social being like the rest of us. He just doesn't want to be with you again.
At least subconsciously, you also know this to be true so you naturally fight to hold on to your husband evidently by begging, calling obsessively, manipulation and other strategies that only repel and not attract love.
So the fear becomes, "what if I let go and then he gets with someone else"?
Okay. What if he does? I ask you. Can you survive that reality? If you can't survive that reality, where is the sexy self-confidence and self-esteem that attracted him in the first place?
It's little to no wonder why he doesn't want to be with you.
Here is another reality. That's just how he felt the moment it was said. It's not necessarily how he is going to feel once he smells that you don't need him ever again.
To want him and to need him are two different things. No one wants to be with a needy person.
So the first step is to let him go in order to let your magic... maybe God.... do its thing.
There is more.
We've seen a lot of people running around social media and different types of conversations talking about "self love".
Let's be honest. Some people are too selfish and should not be talking about self love if they don't want to self-sabotage when it comes to attracting authentic love over time.
But in your case Queen, rejection breeds obsession. So you are probably pouring from an empty cup and not taking care of yourself enough. That's not attractive nor is it sustainable.
In this season for you, the work is in taking care of and loving up on yourself.
I understand it's hard when you experience rejection especially when it involves a potential break up of your family.
But remember that everything goes back to attraction and desire which you should never negotiate. People, including your husband, really have no choice but to mimic the level of self love that you have for yourself.
At the minimum, people will mimic your level of self-respect. Focus on doing things you love and for yourself during this period and don't have ultimatums on doing that.
Make it a lifestyle.
I have a question for you. Are you naturally a selfish person?
Use the comment area below to share your answer with us.
There is a chance that you are already not a selfish person. So it's time to pivot and it's your best chance of attracting love with or without your husband.
I know you are probably so obsessed that you don't want to hear about love outside of your husband. But think about this deeply. Love is love and it really wouldn't matter when you are in-love.
It also doesn't matter because loving yourself will make you more attractive and therefore increase your chances of attracting anyone to desire you; hopefully your husband.
And last but not least.
Okay. I don't want you to set yourself up because honestly that marriage is gone. Because even if your husband comes back to you, you will have to build a new foundation.
When we say look out for clarity, we need you to do that from a space of selfishness and what is good for your own life and the rest of your life.
I don't want you to sit around and start expecting your husband to suddenly decide to come back to his senses. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
If he comes back, good for him… and for you I hope.
With these tips, you will definitely influence him if he is human like the rest of us because he will wonder and become unsure of where you stand.
That will effectively drive his attraction towards you in an upwards direction.
But you can't control what other people do. You can only control how you respond to life and consequently control what you attract.
Things will start to align when you let go and genuinely become capable of enjoying every moment of your life without needing him.
We are speaking from experience. We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.
On this episode, we are going to react to a Melanin King clip from a her dating show that involved a 60 years old man who is single, shot his shot at her and wants to build a family. Is it still possible?
FULL EPISODE - https://youtu.be/ei-kX8JClKM
Why is Marsau attracting disrespect from his in-laws?
https://lolaandola.com/dealing-with-in-law-issues/
We may be speaking from our traditional perspective here but nope… We’ve spent most of our lives in the west.
So we have some context.. at least some.
I do think that there is a lot of disrespect coming to Marsau from Latisha’s family. But dare I say it… he deserves it because he is attracting it.
Maybe “deserve” is a little too harsh… maybe it’s not relevant since for the most part, we don’t know what we don’t know when it comes to marriage.
What are we talking about here?
We are talking about one of our favorite shows to watch together on OWN TV; Love and Marriage: Huntsville.
It's a show in its fourth season which showcases the married life of 3 or 4 couples... one of which is Marsau and Latisha.
They’ve been married for years so they ‘kinda’ know a lot when it comes to this marriage thing.
But it almost seems...
THAT very factor is creating a blind spot for Marsau.
In-Law issues are the necessary evil that we all have to deal with as married people.
And the fact is that Marsau talks too much when it comes to his in-laws... starting with Latisha's mother.
When I talk about “game”, people always assume that we are talking about dating or pick-up artistry only.
The truth is that married men need even more game.
The higher you climb in any form of hierarchy, the more of a shit test target you become.
Marsau’s in-laws represent the first phase of Latisha’s life… development years for that matter… which means there are all types of sentimental values that he will never be fully aware of.
Alright. With that being said, let's go ahead and share 5 tips for dealing with in-laws in a way that doesn't tamper with your marriage.
The limitations of this, of course, is a physical threat to your wife. But you don't have the capacity to proactively save her emotionally from her own family; her source.
The safest way to remotely get close to saving her in a way that puts you at an advantage as her husband is to be that shoulder to cry on
…or a safe haven she can always trust to run to when she occasionally gets burnt over there.
I don't remember if Marsau attempted to save Tisha from her cousin while beefing about her trip with Tisha's friend which she was kept out of.
That right there is a prime example allowing her to go through that on her own.
Many at times, it's going to feel like one or a few of your in-laws come with overbearing energy.
If it's a physical attack, call the police. That should never be tolerated.
It's usually not a physical attack. As for emotional or verbal attacks directed at you, don't feed into it. Why?
Because your wife's feelings matter to you.
So at the end of the day, you need to just remove yourself temporarily because that's what's going to create the best result for you in the long run.
Maybe in the short term it feels unfair. But marriage is never supposed to be a competition... remember.
Remove yourself physically and temporarily if you ever feel the need to feed into negativity; it's not worth it.
Marsau finds himself feeding into Ms. Wanda's negativity all the time. I know... "A man is supposed to check misbehavior as they come, right? No matter who it's coming from."
Wrong! That's a short sighted way of looking at things. Some battles are just not worth the expense.
I also know that he puts on that face CAP like it’s all banter. But we can see through the bullshit.
It's going to happen... sometimes from a very subconscious place. You will feel like you're competing with your in-laws for your wife's attention.
It should never be a competition but I understand you are human like the rest of us.
She already chose you as the husband for a reason so it's best to just maintain self-respect and esteem and remain the king that you are in your own household.
Anything else is validation and approval seeking behavior.
This awareness we just hopefully created will go a long way for you in protecting your position and your family.
At this point, you are probably hearing me tell you to kill them with kindness. I didn't say that.
All I am asking you to do is to maintain your desired position with a long sighted view; be it a leader or a follower.
In one of the episodes, we watched Tisha and Marsau evaluate a food truck business venture with Ms.Wanda.
Per Tisha's request, they were to invest in that business starting with buying and fixing this old dilapidated food truck sitting in the middle of nowhere.
This is a tricky one... and there is no absolute advice here... just a little guide.
Ideally, this type of investment should be avoided if possible.
It's better to give Ms.Wanda, your in-law, whatever you want and can afford to give her as a gift so that you don't become attached or invested in the outcome of the business venture.
It was obvious that Tisha really wanted to do this with her mother. If that’s the case, Marsau is better off giving Tisha the gift and detaching himself from the outcome for his own peace of mind.
Question of the day: Share in the comment area in one word... What do you think attachment to outcomes turns into when it comes to marriage and relationships?
So let's say Marsau follows this advice and gives Tisha the gift to invest with her mother.
From experience and analyzing a lot of cases, we know that "I told you so" moments are inevitable in the future.
As you probably already guessed, that wouldn’t be a moment for Marsau to say "I told you so."
Many times, your wife will come to you and report on how her family member offended her. Don't insert yourself and start judging them.
Just listen. Just be understanding. It's okay to be fascinated.
“Wow..” “That’s crazy.”, “Interesting..” “O ga o”.
It's okay to be interested without judging.
If you're judging her family, she may feel good about it right now.
Later on or if you are consistent enough with that behavior, she may start to feel some kind of way about it because that's her family.
You're going to become the enemy.
We are speaking from experience. In fact, we share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and sharing with us below in the comment area what you'd like us to cover in the next video.
2009, February. This story was launched into new dimensions. A partner and friend invited me into a home-meeting designed to launch a home business. I want to tell you that story but let’s talk about this being my 4th published book for context.
https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/fygCMQ96QCY
Previously in the world of my book writing endeavors, I published my 3rd book called Real Estate Money Secrets as a follow up to the first book I ever published called Smart Real Estate Wholesaling.
Between those two books, I co-authored a book with my wife called Get My Marriage Back to help couples going through a crisis in marriage rekindle things in a sustainable and healthy way.
It is with great pleasure that I present to you my 4th published book; Digital Marketing Certified. I believe it’s going to be my greatest work thus far towards my on-going effort to continue to put more value out into the world.
Not just because it’s going to help me make more money but honestly, because it will help you add more value into the world, create a positive impact and yes, make more money.
It almost feels like my books are tracking my personal journey; which I am about to share with you in a second. I like it because it’s starting to make sense.
There were times that I had planned to write other books in the past few years but it just never happened. This book is not just written; you are also here reading it and to me, that’s a sign of lots of greatness that will come through you into this world.
Reading this book 10-15 times is not just about reading a book. It’s about mastery of what it’s going to take to connect your message and the value you have to offer the world with your core audience; literally millions of them waiting to receive your awesomeness.
I want to be able to track your progress and especially your story as it’s also being documented as you implement what you learn in this book; that’s my greatest wish.
So 2009, February as I was saying earlier, my digital marketing story was officially launched into new dimensions. A partner and a friend invited me into a home meeting designed to launch a home business in his apartment, West New York, New Jersey.
A multi-million dollar real estate business had just gotten wiped out from underneath me due to the 2008 recession. So I was open to ways of pivoting because I experienced massive unfathomable success between the ages of 26 and 28 year old.
You couldn’t tell me anything. I was on top of the world and suddenly; it was over. I tried building an online mall, a car export business and a few other things. I just knew that I was never going into the 9-5 world.
I just always knew that I had more value in me to offer the world. It feels like a big whole ball of fire inside of me and it would be the greatest form of punishment to lock me inside of a cubicle for eight plus hours and 5 days per week or more.
In hindsight, I now know that I was naive and too young to be able to comprehend everything I have now learned since then; over 12 years.
Anyway, I ended up signing up for a network marketing business opportunity and that officially launched me into the world of marketing.
With the prior real estate business, I actually leveraged the power of the internet with direct response and email marketing in so many creative ways. But I didn’t realize it was all digital marketing.
I recruited my whole family into the network marketing, multi-level marketing, MLM business model but they all did nothing with the business opportunity. So I received a $12 check months later in exchange for the $2,000 that I spent on signing them all up.
In 2014, I made my way back into real estate in collaborations with other investors, wholesaling, training and coaching investors how to market using my systems. But since 2009, there is one aspect of all these that I wake up to daily; that’s marketing. I am obsessed.
One of the most difficult and “easy to be distracted from” lessons I’ve discovered is that everyone needs a link to opportunities to serve. Let me explain.
We all want to, not just survive, but we want to be financially stable enough to enjoy the things we like to enjoy. Let’s just address the elephant in the room.
We all want more money no matter how much we already have. Everytime, you get a raise in income, a new problem is created. Naturally, the cost of your lifestyle follows suit.
There is not much difference between being a business owner or not; I learned after about a decade. It’s still a rat race if you do not figure out how to link up with new opportunities to serve on a regular basis.
Gone are those days, when you would spend 40 hours per week on the same job for 40 years starting at an entry level of $40,000 annual salary. Even a 6-figure salary doesn’t add up any longer.
Honestly, I am not even talking about the money because I believe that part is a by-product of having the skills to link yourself up with new opportunities to serve more consistently.
In the 9-5 world, it’s about those resumes connecting with new potential employers on a consistent basis. You can no longer afford to settle with one employer for 40 years.
But in business, it’s about connecting with new leads, new customers, new clients and new deals on a consistent basis on demand. In a highly competitive world, it’s difficult if you don’t pay attention to the digital evolution.
Think about it. How many businesses do you see on your way home with “closing out sales?” Every organization including charity organizations are struggling connecting to people who can donate.
Here is the problem. The world hasn’t moved on. It’s moving as a consistent constant. Technology is always evolving and I’m sorry, business cards and billboards have become the most ineffective way to connect with new opportunities to serve and off course make more money.
So how do you connect with new leads, new prospects, new customers, new clients, new deals, new jobs and more money as the world continues to evolve in the digital era?
You guessed it right. Digital Marketing; the art and science of leveraging the digital evolution to build influence and connect your values with an audience that already wants it badly.
Just a few years ago, we called it internet marketing and online marketing. But the truth is that we can’t keep up because there are on-going developments around the same concept; everything is digital and digitally evolving.
In fact, sooner or later, we are going to have half-humans half-robots taking away more old school jobs. But the good news is that more new-school jobs are being created.
Digital marketing is a solution to the problem of connecting with new opportunities as relevant to the obsession of mankind with wanting everything easier, simpler, faster and all the other ‘er’s you can think of.
But we also know that every solution creates new problems. And every problem creates new opportunities to solve more problems.
So I hope you are starting to think of the idea of digital marketing as the greatest opportunity to make more money and build out your career, your life and your legacy no matter what it is.
I guess the easiest proof I can offer you right now is to observe just social media, which is just one piece of many, from this lens for 24 hours. Then write your objective observations as to how much money is moving hands right in front of you in real time.
While many businesses are going under due to what I consider as arrogance, many new companies and income opportunities are rising daily from something so obvious, many still can’t see it.
We are going to use this book to shed light on digital marketing and also teach the skills required to take serious advantage of it.
If you are still reading, you already know that you need to be marketing in order to keep bringing new eyeballs and revenue into your business. You already know that it's a direct source of food for the beast.
So even if you want to do great things for others from the goodness of your heart, you know that you won’t be able to afford to keep it going if no revenues are coming in.
But the question now is why should you pivot from more traditional types of marketing into digital? For one, it’s easier, simpler and gets you results faster. And guess what, it’s actually cheaper too.
Back in the days, a lot of marketing activity involved throwing stuff against the wall and hoping that something will stick. Quite often than none, some did stick. But I would attribute that to that particular environment where everyone else didn’t know any better.
In this digital age, more and more people are discovering it; even though I believe that digital marketing is still very much in its infancy stages.
That right there is your competitive advantage going right out the window. Sure there is a balancing act between not just jumping on every bandwagon and being proactive when it comes to new technology.
Leveraging digital marketing is one of those where you have to be proactive because it has to do with the blood and life of your mission; new people to serve.
As opposed to traditional methods, everyone is equal. (I’m not sure if that’s a good thing) and it’s easy to get started. That could have been a disadvantage but because getting started is readily available to anyone, most people are taking it for granted.
Many people literally had to wait years for major universities to be teaching it in their curriculum to pay attention to digital marketing. It’s not too late but that doesn't mean you didn’t miss out on certain opportunities that come from taking action at ground zero.
So I get approached every now and then by people who have a little money to spend on marketing to build their movement and mission. “Ola, I’ve got $25,000 to spend on marketing. Where should I start?”
It’s probably the most popular question that I get. “How do I get started?” Some would say, “there are too many people talking, exactly where is the starting point?”
That can be absolutely confusing and frustrating. So I get it. Especially when you consider the beast itself; the internet is such a viral machine that it’s so easy to get lost in a rabbit hole without any chances of coming out with a useful product.
That’s one of my goals with this book. I want to help you outline a step-by-step approach which obviously has to start with a step one. Speaking of goals, the first step is for you to get crystal clear on what your personal and business goal is, not “are”, but “is” with respect to why you want to leverage digital marketing.
Without a clearly written out goal and purpose statement, you will get lost in the sauce of the beast because what we love about it what you may end up resenting about it.
I can’t tell you how many people have left the mission because of the frustration directly linked to not starting with a goal and clear purpose. It may sound simple but anything worthwhile in life and business is easier said than done.
This book is a great guide, a type of bible, if you will, to help you stay grounded in your set purpose as you navigate the world of digital marketing.
That’s what we are going to use as seed for the initial research to identify the right content, platform, placement strategy that will create your desired results from this simple process presented in this book.
Go ahead and log in into your favorite social media platform right now. What do you see? I bet you see some type of news and/or post feed.
Here is something else you will notice. You will notice that the first few postings in that feed tend to be a continuation of the same type of content you had been engaging at least with your eyes during your recent browsing.
As simple and as regular or obvious as that may sound to you right now, I want you to realize how powerful it is to follow your ideal customer and client with content they are most likely going to engage again.
“Again?” Yes. It’s very important to pay particular attention to the idea that you can actually track the interest of your ideal audience down to what they are most likely going to enjoy and engage in. Imagine being able to track this phenomenon down to micro-behaviors and leverage it to build your ability to connect with more opportunities to serve and therefore make money.
It’s been proven time and time again that your average customers will not do business with you just after their first encounter with your business. Back in the days, you would have to make follow-up calls to see if they are ready to do business.
But in the digital era, you can track and set up automated campaigns to take advantage of what we already know for centuries.
Have you experienced an ad following you to every website you go after viewing a product that you didn’t buy yet? With digital marketing, you are able to track people’s interest and connect it to your offer in the marketplace in an extremely predictable and scalable way.
In this digital age, it’s all trackable numbers that you can leverage to create more of its kind; optimized for massive profits in your business.
Before we dive in through the rest of this book which I know you are excited about, this is what I want you to do. I want you to grab a piece of paper or open an empty document on your personal computer.
Then I want you to write straight from your heart what you want personally from digital marketing. I want you to describe your desired outcome in full detail and what that desired outcome would mean to you with respect to wealth building and living a healthier lifestyle and fostering better personal and business relationships.
Here is what’s going to happen. You will discover how much you have buried inside for one. In addition to that, you will notice a flow of ideas based on what we’ve covered in just the introduction.
There are some exceptions. Maybe you are one of them and you don’t feel that way after honestly going through that exercise. This is what I want you to do.
I want you to describe in full detail how you’ve attempted to use emails and/or social media in any capacity to advance your outcome either in business or in your personal life.
Once you’ve done that, I want you to attempt to quantify the outcome you got from such activities in the past and then multiply it somehow by 100. Continue to describe the product of that exercise because I know you may find it difficult at this point to describe things in discrete data.
Congratulations. You have just had your first experience in the excitement you are about to discover over the next 11 chapters of digital marketing awesomeness that’s about to happen to your business, and your mission.
It’s never been this easy to quantify the numerous activities involved in exposing content, products and services to quality eyeballs. Literally, all of it and more can be done from a laptop and a decent internet connection.
In the next and first official chapter, I am going to help you a little further in defining your goals. Remember, you ultimately know what outcome you desire from leveraging digital marketing to spread your message, impact, products and services.
But I want to help you define it in a way that you are able to predict results so you can double down over and over where necessary. No worries. It’s going to be a lot of fun as we dive even further into this.
ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY - "If I Have To Protect You, Why Can't I Hold You Accountable." [PART 2]
https://lolaandola.com/accountability-vs-blame-in-relationships/
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https://youtu.be/WkOrtvyZONE
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In my last video before part 1 on Will Smith’s apology video, I talked about blame as a function of baseless guilt and shaming.
Accountability on the flip side is a function of a solid foundation and set of values that all involved parties have subscribed to.
When you hold people accountable, you should be holding them to account for agreed standards within the right frame of mind. But when you mix that up with blame, shame, insults, there will be distortion of what the standards are… naturally.
I personally have to continually work on this when I hold men accountable. It’s hard when I can clearly see the wrong to not use certain languages to express my frustrations.
I tend to say things like lame, incel, weak etc.
Shaming, blaming, insults, condemnations simply cannot be in the same space as accountability in relationships, marriage and any type or romantic context.
I do have to keep my foot on your neck. Gentlemen, we have to figure this out.
Sign Number 5 - When you tend to use shaming, blaming, insults, condemnations and judgmental tactics, it’s a sign that your woman is having a hard time holding herself accountable to you.
Sign Number 4 - The use of the words “always” and “never”. Here is an example, “you never listen to me.” Such statements are lies by default and definitely signs of lack of self-accountability which “always: (no pun intended) turns to overall lack of accountability.
Sign Number 3 - Confusing lack of desire and lack of accountability is a sign of lack of self accountability and self-respect… and it’s worse.
Sign Number 2 - When you are confused between protecting her feelings vs making sure she feels protected while “holding her accountable” that’s a sign that will defeat accountability.
Sign Number 1 - Last but not least, active competition in any form between couples is a sign of lack of accountability on at least whoever is claiming to be the leader of the union.
When men talk about holding women accountable, there is usually a piece of information that I find missing.
“Exactly what are you holding her accountable to?”
At this point, the rambling usually starts for three minutes and then maybe ends at “women never apologize.”
Remember what I said earlier about the use of the words “always” and “never”. It’s a sign of lack of self-accountability and ignorance.
I do believe you should be able to at least hold yourself accountable for not being able to leave a terrible relationship. That in itself is an undefeatable strategy to holding women accountable.
But when I see stuff like..
“Hold women accountable by leaving them alone with their kids and cats,” I am forced to look at you sideways and ask. Why do you feel the need for the insults?
Is the truth not good enough? Is that a testament to why you are having a hard time holding your woman accountable?
Is this why you keep asking women to allow you to lead? Just questions…
A lot of people having these conversations are real time case studies of the lack of accountability epidemics. It’s contagious.
Because of their conduct evident by women being afraid to come on the panel for the discussions, it’s obvious to me why women will simply not listen to them.
And if they did, they tend to call them out on emotions in attempts to lead and hold them accountable… Clearly, it’s not working but then it’s supposed to be the woman’s fault.
I hear things like “I was respectful and she hits me with disrespect.”
Again, continuing to engage such a person (not just a woman) tells me you lack self respect. This will be a good moment to practice self-accountability.
Women are not just going to submit to you just for being a man. That’s being delusional and that’s not the reality of life in any society.
You get the basic bare minimum respect first and it’s easy to lose that with the mindset that all women should submit regardless.
Delusional people tend to use the word “should” a whole lot.
Having an opinion on strangers and the general public is not the same as holding them accountable. What could you possibly be holding them accountable to other than your own delusions?
If a person is already disagreeing with you in a debate, you can’t just move the goal post and switch it to an attempt to hold them accountable. That’s why you are failing.
By default, they are not agreeable because you are equally in debate with them.
Question: What do I do if my girlfriend never accepts her mistakes?
A Stupid Answer: “My suggestion is to just run from this toxic person….even I had a girlfriend who never used to accept her mistake…and she was trying to ruin my life…50 percent damage was already done by her to me so in order to save my future…I stopped contacting her…I am happy now… RUN…SAVE YOURSELF…”
The Right Answer: This answer is projection at best. If she never accepts her mistakes, the first step is to set a good tone and the second step is to have a conversation about it.
Frankly, I need to know her mistakes before I can help because you used the word “never.” That makes your accusations a lie by default until proven otherwise.
Question: Why doesn’t my girlfriend take responsibility for her wrong doings in our relationship and why do I apologize in the end?
A Stupid Answer: Why, indeed? Never falsely apologize. That's a lie. Worse, you lie to yourself. This person you refer to as your girlfriend is a drama queen. She hears nothing other than her own voice. Selfish as they come. I don't care how cute she appears on the outside, she's dark and ugly on the inside. You will continue to be treated badly if you don't put a stop to this. Next time you apologize let it be for your mistake of putting up with her.
The Right Answer: This started off as an okay answer but at the end it was laced with shaming, blaming and insults.
As much as the answer was, I guess, designed to make the asker of the question feel good, he probably felt worse because of the past choices and the focus becomes that.
Blame is 100% destructive at a psychological level. It ignores all the processes that go into the choices that we make. Stop confusing it with accountability.
So there is a spectrum here that I stole nicely from a Dr Perel called the relationship accountability spectrum. It was used to categorize ghosting in dating to icing, passive, simmering, power parting and active cold ghosting.
WIth the same idea, think of holding a woman accountable as four different methods on a spectrum.
Where do you fall on that spectrum?
A bad woman? Hold yourself accountable and leave. Easier said than done… right?
5 Signs of a Cheating Woman
Karen is just an inch away from being ousted by her husband's best friend who is also a co-worker.
https://lolaandola.com/5-signs-of-a-cheating-woman/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/1XwuVU01Ezc
He suspects that the rumors floating around work about the dude she hangs out with for lunch is true.
What’s the rumor?
Well… the rumor is that they have been going to eat something else during lunch and not food.
I know why you are here; you are wondering if your woman is cheating on you.
That’s sad!
Not the part where you want answers, but the fact that you are in this position to even have to question the loyalty and faithfulness of your woman.
I can only imagine what you are going through because trust can be extremely difficult to build back in marriage or relationship.
It’s damn near impossible but it’s possible. Never mind what all the lames are saying on the internet and social media these days.
Projection is at an all time high.
I am sure there are over-exhausted list of signs of a cheating woman out there designed to scare the sh*t out of you.
Trust me… it’s not that deep. After this, your fear will disappear.
We are going to spell out 5 signs of a cheating woman for you in the next few short minutes.
But before that…
What is Cheating?
LOLA: Without some form of agreement between two people to some code of conduct or standard, there is no such thing as cheating.
Cheating is what happens when one person steps outside of the code they agreed to with another person.
Let’s keep it simple. If you couldn’t share the full nature of the relationship you have with another person with your partner, it’s probably cheating.
But…
Who is a Cheating Woman?
Like you said, a cheating woman keeps a relationship she wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable sharing the details of with her partner or husband.
It doesn’t matter if physical intercourse was ever involved or not. If not yet, it’s only a matter of time anyway.
That’s true. So there are…
2 Main Types of Cheating
Whenever a woman keeps a relationship with another person who fills emotional void for her in romantic way even if there is no sexual intercourse, this is emotional cheating.
One trend we’ve seen is that women who participate in this bad behavior tend to do it with some types of blast from the past; maybe an ex.
This type of cheating actually feels worse to the victim because you’ll never know what happened.
None of the types of cheating feels good to a victim of infidelity. From a feeling standpoint… speaking as a man… the last thing I expect is for my woman to entertain romantic attention from another man.
I am sure women will say the same thing.
So what about…
LOLA: This occurs when physical intimacy has occurred between a cheating woman and another man.
Let's dive through the 5 signs you should look out for. But I have to give you a quick…
Warning: Overreaction and directly querying your woman if you notice these signs will backfire and make matters worse for you personally.
There is nothing wrong with a healthy space between romantic partners because distance does make the heart fonder. But the point and ideal is that she can't wait to get back with you whenever there is space.
If she is actively and consistently fighting for space from you in the same house, it could be a sign of cheating. More importantly, it's a sign of disconnection and the beginning of eventually cheating.
Typically, when a woman is going through it without necessarily cheating, she also does not feel sexy. But women can eventually get to a stage where she is enjoying attention outside of the relationship.
She would then do more to continue to attract such attention. If this correlates with a phase when she doesn't want to be intimate with you as a partner or husband, that could be a sign of a cheating woman.
Not only could she be enjoying some type of value for staying with you, she could be actively cheating you out of your freedom to go find happiness somewhere else.
Are you noticing a pattern here? She can't wait to spend time away from you with respect to engaging other people... and yes potentially romantically.
She may still be in a phase where she is fantasizing about the idea of being with another person so she entertains long conversations by text message with an emotional tampon on the side; emotional cheating.
Yea... you never know how far these types of fantasies can go. Again, this could be a sign of physical cheating or it could very much still be in the fantasy stage.
The flip side of this is that this is a sign of an emotional void being filled.
This sign right here clearly shows that she is hiding something. Like we said earlier, cheating is as simple as engaging in romantic activities with someone outside of your partner even if it is purely... virtually... a.k.a emotionally.
If you've noticed this to be a consistent behavior, it should be a concern for you. It's not a guarantee that she is cheating but she sure is hiding something.
Could she be hiding details about a surprise party for you?
I'm going to leave you with this warning again. Overreaction and directly querying your woman if you notice these signs will backfire and make matters worse for you personally.
Instead, engage a personal, individual and wise counsel first.
ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY - "If I Have To Protect You, Why Can't I Hold You Accountable?"
http://lolaandola.com/accountability-vs-responsibility/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/4ujnoB6wY4E
Wow. I won’t call this a stupid question even though I should. But I’ll tell you why you can’t hold her accountable. You lack self respect.
And the worst thing about it is that you are perpetuating it right now. It’s a competition. It’s a contest. It’s transactional. You’ve made yourself equal to the woman… she’s not even your woman.
But then I should calm down because it’s all YouTube panels and should not be conflicted with a romantic relationship.
CAP. Sadly… Many young men are taking these conversations back to their romantic relationships in attempts to hold a woman accountable. And it’s failing.
Anything I say in my lessons is easier said than done. But they are highly rewarding when you figure it out.
Thank you so much for being here. Please support the channel by hitting the like button, sharing the video and more importantly, sharing your thoughts and engaging in the comment area below.
In this lesson, we will answer questions and cover things like:
As we speak, there are tons of conversations going on reddit and various social media platforms around the idea that accountability is a woman's kryptonite.
Is that true?
In fact, the memes are endless. The manosphere talking points around women’s lack of accountability is likewise endless.
"60% of women cheat but 85% of the time it is the man's fault. Women tend to cheat because they are not being loved properly or they have been feeling lonely for a long period of time in a relationship and so they lean on another male for support and accidentally have sex with them."
As you know, this is a platform where we hold ourselves as men accountable particularly to facilitate personal growth with respect to relationships.
Weak men think of it as pandering. “Ola.. stop shaming men.”
One of the push back I get this most is…
“So it’s always a man’s fault?”
"Whatchu mean I don't have no accountability? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! See I have the ability to count.”
That is funny… You will also hear things like…
"Women demand equality except when they get special treatment for being a woman."
Some even say “Not only are they not held accountable, if a male is involved, he's held accountable for her actions!”
Well, when a man has not heard me long enough, it’s easy for him to say that I am holding him accountable for a woman’s actions.
Never that! But I could hold you accountable for not leaving and disengaging any conversation with her if she’s such a bad person. That is your action or lack there-of.
The talking points are endless. Here is another one.
“Y’all are both drunk and have sex. The male is held accountable.”
This one is obviously a generalization and you know how I feel about those.
And another one. “A girl flirts with a guy at work and the guy decides to go for it. The guy gets fired.”
Okay. So the society protects the most vulnerable first, children, then women before we get to the men in a society that has men, women and children… no aliens.
Where is the surprise here again?
“You both decide to get married but then the woman doesn't want to be married anymore and wants a divorce. The man has to pay alimony to women.”
80% of divorces are initiated by women. Congrats. You passed your data, facts and stats test. Now.. let’s get back into the real world.
I am guessing this is the part where we will all pretend that there is nothing between getting married and the divorce. It’s all vacuum. Right?
Let’s do one more.
“You both have sex and she gets pregnant. She's not going to be the one paying child support for the next 18yrs. You are.”
Again…. Gross generalization at best.
It’s just hard to come up with healthy solutions when you spend so much energy on (I won’t call it complaining even though it is.) generalizations, blaming, shaming and insults.
At that point, you now have to sell me harder on the idea that you in particular don't hate accountability as well.
If it does, I understand. That’s what being held accountable feels like.
But let’s reason together if we call ourselves men. Another one of the talking points is thinking of a man and taking away reason and accountability in order to spell “women”.
I am just being brutally honest and maybe you are stuck on the brutality of it. But I have to show you the reality and flash your results in your face… the only source of objective truth.
Let me repeat that. The only source of objective truth is reality, time and results. Everything else is an opinion based on old data.
I have to be honest in that there are lots of half-truths to all the examples and accusations of lack of accountability on women’s part.
But guess who is responsible for that? You guess that right. Whichever side of the gender wants to lead the society is responsible for that.
That’s the reality.
But again… women and accountability in a romantic context don’t mix and I don’t think they are supposed to mix… especially when there is no vision and order.
…especially not from a blame standpoint. I know there is a difference between blame and accountability but I know what blame sounds like.
It sounds exactly like when you claim you are holding women accountable. Am I pandering here… whatever….
The feminine energy is responsible for the chaotic and creative beauty that attracts us as men while the masculine energy is responsible for the structure, security, safety and order.
That’s what creates sexual polarity, the in-love experience and if you can manage it on a day-to-day basis long enough… 30 to 40 years from now, incels will call you lucky.
Outside of romance or anything affected or influenced by romance, women are held accountable all the time for their actions at work, in society, when they get pregnant and even on a month-to-month basis just for being women.
You can at least agree that the leader is responsible for the state of any context; society or romantic and individual levels. Right?
I found 3 dictionary meanings but I will use two of them for context and application. Dictionary meanings are terrible for relationships on face value.
So we have authority but at the cost of being exposed to blame.
This is the reality.
And so for those who want to hide under the canopy of a need to rebuild the community, you should know that the focus on blame and shame will defeat the purpose because you will effectively be pointing back at self.
Besides, I personally think every “women accountability talk” around building communities “is cap”. I’d rather we particularize it.
“Why do women hate being accountable when it comes to interactions with YOU?” That’s a better question with better chances of getting to an answer.
We will continue with… “Accountability Vs Blame In Relationships & Marriage in Part 2”
As much as I try to stay focused in business and in life, some things… you just can't ignore; digital marketing is one of them.
https://myempirepro.com/blog/digital-marketing-dealsleads-income5-reasons-engage-immediately/
Digital Marketing is the art and science of getting quality and profitable attention and exposure for products and services on the ever growing and increasing digital platforms such as Google, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram etc while collecting data for maximum optimization opportunities.
For example, if your offer is to buy houses from distressed homeowners to relieve them of the burden of a non-producing asset, imagine 1,000 highly targeted prospects seeing an ad on their smartphone that says “we buy ugly houses.”
All types of businesses are drowning as we speak because sales have slowed down everywhere due to complacency.
The uncertainty is increasing daily; thanks to our fast changing world.
I have been able to take advantage of many opportunities since 2005 my graduation year when I first got exposed to the world of business and October 2006 when I went full time as an entrepreneur.
Right now, we are at another important junction in our lifetime and it's important that you pay attention..
The more bloody it is financially for most people out there, high gas prices, inflation, increasing cost, declining valuations, crashing markets everywhere,
Digital marketing is a major source of those opportunities for your existing career, business and journey. In this lesson, I am going to give you 5 solid reasons why I think that is.
So many people have been flashing on the gram on credit and it's payday for the lenders.
What that means for those of us that have been in the trenches of digital marketing is payday too. If you pay attention to my next few words, you too can join the family.
Without any further ado, let's countdown the 5 reasons why you must engage your business and income with digital marketing starting immediately.
At the end of the day, money only comes from one place. Not from the sky, not from computers, not from mammy (at least if you are an adult), not from crypto… but from people.
So if money comes from people, it is important that you pay attention to where people hang out when they are relaxing. That used to be the mall?
People still go to the mall but you and I would agree that... not as much as they hang out on their smartphones.
I mean.... people literally take their smart phones equipped with the biggest mall ever, Amazon, into the poop room.
Be honest, there is no day that someone in your household is not receiving random shipments they forgot they purchased while pooping.
Exactly. Hence the $4.9 Trillion in global retail e-commerce sales, revenue and income; it's growing year over year in every corner of the planet even in the middle of recessions.
The question is what are you going to do about it for your own income?
All experienced business owners and entrepreneurs know this;
No leads, No money.
I personally still get tempted all the time to sell to people who do not have an existing relevant relationship with me and my product. What do I mean by relevant relationship?
Well, I have a fantastic relationship with my parents but that relationship is not relevant to my real estate educational products.
So the idea of trying to sell it to them has a high chance of failure… outside of wanting to just support.. Not a good idea of a source of income and survival right?
On these digital platforms, you are able to, not just generate leads, but quality and highly engaged leads that you can build "relevant" relationships “with respect to your product and offers” with.
There have been many studies that show that an average sale is not initiated until around the 7th touch and exposure of lead or prospect to the knowledge of the product or service.
What happens presently when they don’t buy, join or sign up for your offer during the first encounter? You lose them for life?
So in digital marketing, lead list building is encouraged first because the money is truly in the list.
Online lead generation and list building puts your business and income light years ahead of those who are on the outside of digital marketing.
One of the most beautiful and simple concepts I learned a long time ago is the SMART goals. The acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
While everyone is running around mad and lost right now due to declining GDP, digital marketing activities record everything in real time as data in presentable and easy-to-understand ways.
Why do you need that?
In case you've been living under a cave, we no longer need to know so much because of artificial intelligence and machine learning.
Quite a few people will be left behind in every type of business because of complacency and applying effort in manual and old school strategies.
Here is an example.
Over here in the east coast Tri-State New York metro, we call it the EZ-Pass; you know what I mean? The auto-pay lane for the toll gates, right?
It used to be 8 lanes with humans and 1 EZ-Pass lane when they were rolling out the technology in the early 2,000’s. Now it's the other way around; one lane with one person if any at all.
Question; what happened to the jobs of those 7 people? Please answer in the comment area below…
Well, whatever it is will happen to your business and income if you don't pivot immediately. No one is sitting at home or by their phone expecting your sales-pitch call anymore.
The data is working backwards for all old-school marketing strategies.
Digital marketing is data driven and it creates even more engagement data in real time so we are able to put energy and resources where it's more likely to create more deals, sales and income… all data, stats and facts based.
The best customers are repeat customers.
With digital marketing, you are able to track people's interest and reverse engineer it to create better offers for them to keep buying.
Not just that, you can also use the knowledge of their interest to find millions (literally) of more people with similar interests to build and scale out your business and income.
So we are talking about recurring sales, recurring customers, recurring income and passive income made more possible by digital marketing.
Something of this magnitude, just 20 years ago, would cost you a fortune to take advantage of.
The most powerful and resourceful in the world would have taken it over but their own arrogance against technology is working in the little guy’s favor.
If you have the time, you can literally jump on YouTube and learn everything for free. But it's important that you also know that "free" is the most expensive cost of anything.
And if you don't believe me, try free stuff for one year and then let's measure how far you've gone with respect to your desired results. I promise; I’m patient.
But if you believe me, we are creating a full semester (15 weeks) of everything digital marketing on-demand coaching with full one year of support.
The price is $995.
Again, you can learn all this stuff for free on YouTube.
But if you have enough experience to know that free will cost you more than $995 in one year without support, text the phrase ‘DM’ to +1 (732) 517-7532 to enroll in the next class.
Also, knowledge and information is free everywhere.
But application and optimization in order to actually generate leads, deals, clients, customers and sales is where you will find my support useful.
We are certified with Google and Facebook.
Also, we have been doing this full time for 15 years plus for our own businesses. You can see my footprint everywhere online by simply searching my name on google.
My teaching and coaching style is hands-on but on-demand still for schedule flexibility.
Digital marketing is literally all you need to stay afloat in the next recession because it follows the people; the only source of money.
By the way, you want to subscribe and turn on all your notifications right because I will be dropping more gems around the topics right here over the next few weeks that you will not want to miss. To support this video, please hit the like button one time.