Quick story. About 7 months ago, she decided to go for trial separation but things have basically been in a limbo since then.
At the time, she was 8 months pregnant and taking care of 2 kids at the same time with no help whatsoever from the husband.
She would complain but he would just apologize and promise to work on it; then repeat the same cycle over again.
So she got tired of the empty promises and went for the trial separation. She thinks she is seeing some changes now but not too sure if he's faking it or he's actually doing the work.
There have been times in the past that she thought things were better even up to a year ago, forgave… but now... she wouldn't even allow him to touch her.
She claims the sex was horrible because of how she felt towards him at the initiation of the trial separation.
Though she took full responsibility for her portion of the decline in the marriage, he refused to see any issues which left her with no choice but to let him figure himself out.
Hence the separation that started 7 months ago.
Now, she is feeling much better but wants to know if there are any positive signs to look out for during this separation to determine if it's working in the favor of the marriage or if it's a lost cause.
So we want to share just five signs with you to look out for to determine if a good and healthy reunion is in sight.
Sadly in these modern times, most people trying to fight for their marriage end up in big English grammatical echo chambers where all they will learn is how to diagnose their partners psychologically.
You will hear diagnoses such as narcissism, controlling, insecure etc... to the point where they don't know how to recognize normal interaction any longer.
The sad part is that people, even when they are not professionals or have any experience, will make blanket bold statements such as once a... (fill in the blank)... always a (fill in the blank.)
So it becomes extremely hard to see a simple positive sign in separation such as becoming friends again.
This one thing is priceless and you can't buy it with money. Believe it or not, you can buy a wife, a husband, a girl or boyfriend. But you can't buy a friend.
So if you are in the middle of separation and you are noticing that friendship is finding its way back, that is a strong foundation to build upon if you are willing.
Well, the whole point of separation also involves physical distance. But we are humans and distance, they say, makes the heart fonder.
This is especially true if there was some type of friendship before things went completely left. If that was the case, friends who are also lovers tend to find their way back into the same space.
Maybe not necessarily living under the same roof, but you find that you are able to share space together even if it's with other mutual friends.
That, my friend, is a great foundation to start working on your marriage together.
Many separated couples do not have that luxury and it's worth appreciating and leveraging as a positive sign during your separation.
Again... simple but powerful.
Every separation comes with some damages that can creep back as resentments and try to destroy your marriage even after reconciliation and reuniting back together.
With the right tools, you can and will sustain such forces.
You are in a team together so you ultimately have a better leverage against any outside forces if you are aware of your power as a team.
For us... even after creating some damage, we would end up sitting and watching TV shows together, sharing links of memes, funny and viral videos back and forth.
If you are blessed with this type of scenario, that is a positive sign during separation.
Naturally you are observing your partner.
I say that because you may be using the "no contact rule" as a tool to boost attraction but hopefully-primarily to take time to boost your self confidence and self esteem.
But naturally you are observing your partner… at least occasionally.
We are talking about your spouse here... in the middle of probably the painful experience of separation on both sides.
So you are observing if we are being honest.
In that observation, are you noticing more acceptance of the reality of the possibility of the marriage ending for good?
I know this may be counter-intuitive.
But if you are noticing this, that's what you need because it's a sign of wholesomeness on your partner's part. It means the quality of being beneficial and generally good for you.
When you are self-sustainable as individuals, you dramatically increase the chance that your marriage will be self-sustainable and not drain life out of one or both of you.
Let me ask you a question...
Can you personally and confidently survive and thrive if you have to do that without your husband?
Please answer in the comment space below.
Listen. You are humans like the rest of us here. If you mistakenly broke your own rule and have sex with your partner during separation, that's could be a positive sign.
Sex can also be a negative sign. You may just be addicted to a terrible sex-based relationship.
If you are D or P whipped, when you clearly feel terrible emotionally after the session, that's a negative sign.
But if you lined up the other signs from sign number five to two that we previously shared with you, this is definitely a positive sign that you can turn into a foundation.
Speaking of foundation...
Don't attempt reconciliation or getting back together without engaging in good counsel, coaching or therapy. Healing is necessary in order to not create the same bad cycle all over again.
We are speaking from experience. We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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