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In this lesson, you will discover 3 things you must be determined to figure out if and when you go to a couples' counseling.
Before I dive into that, here is a quick tip for you especially if you are in a marriage.
Anytime, your significant other has for you to go to a couple counseling session,
Recognize that instantly as an amazing opportunity to learn something new.
That's not really a moment to get defensive and be asking why you all need it.
If you do that, recognize the defensive as the first reason why you need a couples' counseling.
Now, people tend to waste money and time at a counseling session because of lack of preparation.
Therefore write these 3 things down to ask the counselor to help you figure out.
(1) Emotion Control
You will need this particularly with respect to the uniqueness of your relationship.
So the counselor may need to hear you and your concerns out first and then...
Specifically ask for help with emotional control. It will make your investment worthwhile.
(2) Betrayal Recovery
If you are sure that your significant other loves you, it's worth fighting for it if you have the urge.
But the worst you can do is stay in a relationship and unknowingly be abusing each other emotionally.
Ask for tools specifically for betrayal recovery so that you can heal properly.
It will also work for infidelity and any trust-related issues.
(3) Risk Benefit Analysis
If you've invested significant time in the relationship and you are not sure if your partner loves you in a healthy way,
Ask your counselor to outline the risk and benefits of staying and leaving the relationship.
That way, you can know your choices properly and make a proper decision.
YOU have to be the one to decide; no one can do that for you.
If these 3 is all you get out of the couples' counseling session, you will come with significant growth...
Both as an individual and for the relationship which doesn't have to be staying together by the way.
Below is a question for us to address with this lesson...
“My husband and I have been married for 16 years now.
He is my best friend and I am more than sure he still loves me.
But he betrayed me. Please help.
I don't want to leave him but I feel I have no other choice.
Several years ago, he was unfaithful prior to our marriage.
Although he made a solid promise in the eyes of God never to fail me again.
The infidelity isn't the only thing that's jeopardizing our marriage...
At this point, I don't recognize him any more and I am ready to file for divorce.
I feel like if I stay, I will break the promise that I made to myself when I forgave him the first time.
Basically, I feel like he will fail me again.
I don't know what to do; I am breaking apart.
I am willing to leave a man I am completely devoted to and in love with.
Enjoy the video.
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Lola & Ola Abitogun of LolaAndOLA.com started dating in March of 2004. They fell in love and got married in August 2007. They are blessed with kids. After 10 years of ups and downs with a marriage that was basically non-existent for 2 full years, they’ve found real love at last, got their marriage back. They have also decided to use this medium to share how they did it so that anyone can use it to save and fix their broken marriage.