Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! So we received a comment on one of the best videos we've ever done called "Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation" from one of our 1,125 extremely valuable subscribers on YouTube; Queen.
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She says... And I quote
“Going thru separation. I love and miss my husband. He asked to be alone for a year. What do I do while we are living apart?”
Queen. I’m sorry you are going through this. Separation is not easy on anyone. As devastating as it sounds, it sometimes can yield positive outcomes.
In fact, we are going to share 5 tips with you on how to dramatically increase the chance of making this season productive for you especially in spite of what it may feel like right now.
The marriage institution is exactly that; an institution. And all disrespect of the institution will lead to a terrible outcome which is a legal or spiritual evaporation of the marriage.
One of such disrespects happens when people get into marriages that lack explicitly identified purpose. It's also synonymous with a marriage with no clear vision from the leader.
So if there is no leader, even if it's temporarily, there is no vision and things fall apart.
At this point, Queen… you have to be realistic and identify your own life mission and purpose.
It's going to be instrumental in attracting your husband back to you if he belongs there in the first place.
Major focus has to be directed to building yourself up because it's about being worthy of attracting what you desire; even if that's your marriage and/or your husband.
Whatever you engage henceforth should either be your passion or some type of stepping stone towards your passion.
There is a tricky fine line between holding yourself accountable and not forgiving yourself. Everything in life is a double edged sword that can cut both ways.
Holding yourself accountable when your marriage seems to be failing is no different. You want to make sure that you've forgiven yourself for at least being what you may be perceiving as failure.
After all, failure is the stepping stone towards all forms of success.
Guilt, blame, condemnation and judgement will work against you because they will consume 10 times the energy you could use to improve yourself in order to attract love and your desires again.
He wants time off, let him go. The truth is that negotiating desire is always a terrible strategy because it leads back into this vicious cycle of resenting yourself.
If your husband has asked to be alone for a year, the reality is that he doesn't want to be alone because he is human; a social being like the rest of us. He just doesn't want to be with you again.
At least subconsciously, you also know this to be true so you naturally fight to hold on to your husband evidently by begging, calling obsessively, manipulation and other strategies that only repel and not attract love.
So the fear becomes, "what if I let go and then he gets with someone else"?
Okay. What if he does? I ask you. Can you survive that reality? If you can't survive that reality, where is the sexy self-confidence and self-esteem that attracted him in the first place?
It's little to no wonder why he doesn't want to be with you.
Here is another reality. That's just how he felt the moment it was said. It's not necessarily how he is going to feel once he smells that you don't need him ever again.
To want him and to need him are two different things. No one wants to be with a needy person.
So the first step is to let him go in order to let your magic... maybe God.... do its thing.
There is more.
We've seen a lot of people running around social media and different types of conversations talking about "self love".
Let's be honest. Some people are too selfish and should not be talking about self love if they don't want to self-sabotage when it comes to attracting authentic love over time.
But in your case Queen, rejection breeds obsession. So you are probably pouring from an empty cup and not taking care of yourself enough. That's not attractive nor is it sustainable.
In this season for you, the work is in taking care of and loving up on yourself.
I understand it's hard when you experience rejection especially when it involves a potential break up of your family.
But remember that everything goes back to attraction and desire which you should never negotiate. People, including your husband, really have no choice but to mimic the level of self love that you have for yourself.
At the minimum, people will mimic your level of self-respect. Focus on doing things you love and for yourself during this period and don't have ultimatums on doing that.
Make it a lifestyle.
I have a question for you. Are you naturally a selfish person?
Use the comment area below to share your answer with us.
There is a chance that you are already not a selfish person. So it's time to pivot and it's your best chance of attracting love with or without your husband.
I know you are probably so obsessed that you don't want to hear about love outside of your husband. But think about this deeply. Love is love and it really wouldn't matter when you are in-love.
It also doesn't matter because loving yourself will make you more attractive and therefore increase your chances of attracting anyone to desire you; hopefully your husband.
And last but not least.
Okay. I don't want you to set yourself up because honestly that marriage is gone. Because even if your husband comes back to you, you will have to build a new foundation.
When we say look out for clarity, we need you to do that from a space of selfishness and what is good for your own life and the rest of your life.
I don't want you to sit around and start expecting your husband to suddenly decide to come back to his senses. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
If he comes back, good for him… and for you I hope.
With these tips, you will definitely influence him if he is human like the rest of us because he will wonder and become unsure of where you stand.
That will effectively drive his attraction towards you in an upwards direction.
But you can't control what other people do. You can only control how you respond to life and consequently control what you attract.
Things will start to align when you let go and genuinely become capable of enjoying every moment of your life without needing him.
We are speaking from experience. We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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