"Chris, I apologize to you. My behavior was unacceptable and I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."
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- WILL SMITH - 5 Tips for an Effective Apology (ft. CHRIS ROCK)
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- WILL SMITH - 5 Tips for an Effective Apology (ft. CHRIS ROCK)
So superstar $35 million Hollywood actor Will Smith finally apologized to Chris Rock on the Oscar slap and as to be expected, the whole online community is dragging him again.
On March 27th, 2022 at the 2022 Oscars, Chris Rock cracked a joke around Jada Pinkett-Smith's bald head comparing her to Demi Moore's character in the movie G.I. Jane.
Then her husband,Will Smith, laughed and in a split second, walked up to the stage and slapped the shit out of Chris Rock.
We all thought it was a joke. We all thought it was staged. We all thought it was acting. But it was real
From the beginning, I have made it clear that there are only 3 things that Will Smith has done wrong publicly and I'm sorry... it's not marrying Jada Pinkett-Smith It is...
The public is wrong about everything as usual including every attempt to involve Jada Pinkett-Smith in the Oscar slap which clearly did not involve her.
I know you all want to bring in Tupac, her daughter’s 7 years old letter to Tupac, AUG, the Jada vs Will social media banter video… lames… but nah. That’s weak.
I can't front. Involving and blaming her for her husband's mistakes seems to make videos go super viral. But over here, we are not going to do that. That's weak and toxic.
We will do it the right way by helping me hit that like button, sharing and commenting your personal opinions about this apology below this video.
As a thanks for doing that, here is a picture of Jada crying.
I have to keep applauding Chris Rock on his conduct throughout the whole ordeal.
In fact, he addressed it for the first time only a few days earlier on stage saying... "Anyone who says “words hurt” has never been punched in the face".
Anyway, Will Smith released the apology video on Friday, July 29th, 2022 and I think it's an opportunity for us to review and extract some lessons around effective apology.
I have extracted 5 tips from the 5 minutes and 44 seconds apology. So let's get to it.
So the slap happened on March 27th, 2022 and the apology came out on July 29th, 2022 which is about 4 months later. I think that's more than enough time for proper introspection.
One thing that's wrong about most apologies is the fact that they are often reflex action designed to push issues under the rug as fast as possible; it's avoidance at best.
At this point, it's obvious that Will Smith is not trying to run from his mistake. Kudos for that.
If the offense happened publicly, the apology should also be public in addition to a private discussion.
So I can appreciate this public apology except for the fact that it wasn't a written statement. Will Smith seems to be overthinking everything and then making it worse subsequently.
At this point, the public rhetoric is actively trying to tear his marriage apart due to over-exposure. It’s sad to watch… people would rather listen to and over pedestalize divorcees than those trying to make it work. It is what it is,
Anyway, anything more than a well crafted PR statement can potentially destroy his private life. It's just not necessary and it's aligning too much with approval and validation seeking behavior.
“Speaking from the heart” for a large superstar like Will Smith is overrated and not necessary.
Before you know it, you will be referencing yourself way too much and that can make your apology come off as disingenuous.
So statements such as "disappointing people is my central trauma" is not necessary as it starts to sound like it's about what he wants.
"It hurts me psychologically and emotionally to know I didn't live up to people's image and impression of me." This is that “woke” lifestyle over-shalaye mansplaining nonsense.
Apologizing to these people in the public and everything he said after that are definitely major problems.
More than enough of these weirdos on the internet are rooting and waiting for the entertainment of Jada and Will divorce.
In fact, there was a rumor like that and it almost set social media on fire.
"Chris, I apologize to you. My behavior was unacceptable and I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."
I think that part was clean especially with the addition of... and I quote.
"I want to apologize to Chris's mother."
Too many people offer apology only because they are looking for an instant exchange for forgiveness. That would make it a terrible apology instantly.
Now it's actually one thing to explicitly and expressly ask for forgiveness in words, but I think it's worse when your actions reflect it and especially contradicts your words.
So if you say "I'm here whenever you're ready to talk", then you need to say less than necessary and let the chips fall where they may.
Just trust that a few words and time is more than enough for adequate healing.
Especially as men, we need to know that nothing is guaranteed in life even if you are a good person.
When I hear a lot of men talk about this issue, all I hear is unrealistic expectations of a good woman just for being a good Mr-Nice Guy.
That’s weak. Life doesn’t always work like that.
So when Will Smith said “This is probably irreparable.” It was perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen… “no guarantees” attitude puts you at advantage of making the most out of what’s left of your life and simultaneously increasing the chances of an apology being accepted dramatically.
While I appreciate Will Smith's apology to his wife (fuck what everyone else thinks),
“I made a choice on my own, from my own experiences, from my history with Chris. Jada had nothing to do with it. I’m sorry babe.”
I think there was too much stress on apologies to the general public.
The public is not receptive to it. From all the public rhetoric and opinions I am seeing, it seems divorcing Jada will be more entertaining at this point. They are hungry for blood.
From my assessment, the public is ready to forgive Will Smith as soon as he forgives himself and gets back to what he does best; and that is not the red table talk.
Ensuring reception of an apology is part of the reason why you should take your time which was the first tip I shared with you in this countdown.
Contrary to popular conservative opinion, shame is absolutely destructive; so is self guilt.
Nothing authentic, wholesome and productive comes from anyone suffering from shame either from self or external force.
He said… and I quote “I am deeply remorseful and I’m typing to be remorseful without being ashamed of myself.” “I’m trying not to think of myself as a piece of shit.”
I can appreciate him truly believing that statement but it’s absolutely not necessary to say that out loud. Saying it out loud almost defeats the purpose.
So many people confuse remorse with shame.
Remorse is regret and maybe purposeful guilt while shame is just baseless guilt… maybe based on being overly concerned with optics.
Misguided shame, insult, guilt, judgment, blame, condemnation are all destructive.
Ultimately, this is all semantics. What I am suggesting is to make sure you are not creating a new problem with your solution.
You can call it whatever you want as long as the apology doesn't create further negative outcomes for yourself.
“If you hang on, I promise we’ll be able to be friends again.”
7 Reasons Why Your Wife Will Dis-Respect & Divorce You
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
Sadly, they are now divorced because she doesn’t respect him.
Really? Was it that simple? She was just a disrespectful wife.
Is that the whole story?
You and I know that’s not the whole story.
A wise man once said there are 3 sides to every story.
At first, she seems like the evil woman who came all the way from Ekiti, Nigeria to destroy his life based on his story.
Honestly, we are still not calling that a lie.
But after listening long enough, and that… in combination with the experience we have handling these types of cases, it was obvious that there were at least another 9,999 sides to this story.
But we had to listen long enough to hear it between the lines and the nuances.
Just a little over 8 years ago, after turning 42 years old, Maxwell decided that he had to be a little more proactive with settling down and building a family.
As you can imagine, he had dealt with a fleet of other ladies in London, who he deemed belonged in the streets and weren’t wife or marriage material.
You are probably wondering how he figured that out to be so? Well, they all dumped him because of what he described in very similar patterns.
It usually started as arguments that had nothing to do with their relationship… at least that’s what he thought.
For example, in the case of the last lady he dated, they argued about why he thinks women should not be seen hanging out with other single women at a lounge on a Wednesday evening.
I am sure you consider that to be a reasonable assertion right?
But then maybe not…
Anyway, the argument was just a simple debate according to Maxwell that happened 2 days after the lady… his ex-girlfriend had received a call from a colleague to hang out after hours.
As far as he was concerned, it wasn’t a big deal since it wasn’t about their relationship together.
A few weeks later, he noticed he wasn’t happy with what he calls the constantly combative attitude of the girl.
Las las… she asked for space and he can’t find himself begging and negotiating desire.
We agree completely that desire cannot be negotiated.
But then, all 5 or 6 intimate relationships he created before going to find a wife from the village were laced with these similar patterns of honest conversations leading to these women asking for space.
… dumping him.
They just want to act irresponsibly like single women who have no one to be accountable to. Those were his words.
So he figured that women who were raised the way he was raised more than 30 years ago were raised just like him; traditional.
One conversation with an Uncle led to a few weeks of conversation with a young 22 years old lady in Ikere Ekiti.
18 months later, she is now living in London with him and 4 months pregnant.
So everything should be fine right?
Compatible… Traditional… groomed to be a wife…. pregnant immediately… he was now 44 years old and finally settling down with his own family.
Yea that was the plan.
According to Maxwell, she wasn’t for the streets… but she was too opinionated. And to add insult to injury, she doesn’t know when to just shut the hell up.
After searching on Google, he finally realized that women are just evil if they can’t provide sex, a sandwich and shut the hell up.
I mean… think about it… That sounds simple right?
We had heard enough so we decided to push back and ask him some thought provoking questions.
It wasn’t long until Maxwell insinuated that we were taking sides. I can’t lie. That was actually predictable.
At around the 7th year mark of their marriage, she served Maxwell with divorce papers.
Of course, if you’ve been paying attention to his patterns, he wouldn’t beg or negotiate desires.
That which we agree with… but there is a disconnect in all of these.
If you notice, we haven’t really disagreed with many of Maxwell’s methods. But we can all agree that he has not created any of his desired results.
Question of the day.
Is he just not that lucky?
What are your thoughts? How do you think he could have kept his home together?
Please share in the comment area.
Right now, we want to share 7 patterns in those stories that lead to Maxwell’s terrible love story so that you can avoid it without dependence on luck.
Let us know in the comment area if you want us to expound more on these 7 reasons.
All 7 of these will make a woman disrespect you.
I know there is a woman that will attempt to unintentionally set men up by reminding us that a woman is supposed to be respectful regardless.
Sure. But that’s not the reality.
You can avoid reality all you want, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
At the end of the day, we are talking about a romantic relationship where both parties let their guard down from the ideology of full blown intentional adults.
So there is a way you move as a man and your wife will typically have no choice but to respect or disrespect you; both intentionally and unintentionally.
Does that sound unfair? So be it. Welcome to the real world.
If you are still complaining about that reality, it’s little to no wonder why you are attracting the result you are creating.
Maybe… just maybe… you may want to adjust.
5 Ways To Flip Pre-Foreclosure Listings To Cold CA$H
Wanna learn the 5 ways to flip pre-foreclosure listings to cold cash? This is what happens when you fully grasp the comprehension of value as related to income.
While pre-foreclosure is misfortune for distressed property owners, you are able to not just flip it to cold cash, you are also able to flip their sorrow to relief.
That's the value.
Over here, we talk about making money in real estate even if you are not licensed, have no big cash for capital, have bad credit or have no experience.
One of the easiest ways to do that is by learning how to work a pre-foreclosure list. Have you ever heard the saying that “money is in the list”?
We are not talking about how to buy a pre-foreclosure. That part is easy.
All you have to do is put a call out to a real estate agent and have these things ready… your $1,000 deposit, $20,000 in closing cost and deposit balance and good credit to obtain a mortgage.
Many homeowners with properties in pre-foreclosure have admitted to the need to sell and the first people they tend to call is a real estate agent for obvious reasons.
Everyone does the same thing and that's exactly why it's not the best strategy if you are looking to wholesale pre-foreclosure for quick profit if you are not licensed, have no big cash for capital, have bad credit or do not have any experience.
Instead, in this lesson, I want to share 5 ways to flip pre-foreclosure listings to cold cash.
There are two contexts that support what pre-foreclosure listings are.
It's been listed like a regular house for sale to be sold hopefully before the house gets foreclosed on. You can actually see many of these houses on Zillow.
That's not the pre-foreclosure listings that I am talking about.
Basically, the house is heading for foreclosure which is a legal process in which a lender attempts to recover the balance of a loan from a borrower who has stopped making payments to the lender by forcing the sale of the asset used as the collateral for the loan; the property.
So learning how to work pre-foreclosure listings for profit is a hack that I picked up back in 2005 and it made me lots of money. I also made tons of mistakes along the way which I will help you avoid right now.
We use a strategy called wholesale real estate which is the art and science of finding deeply discounted properties and securing it as a deal for investors with cold cash.
The marketing message is simple. "We Buy Houses." Not you personally but your endless network of buyers which I will show you how to access at the end of this video.
Without any further ado, let's countdown the 5 different ways.
Pre-foreclosure listings can be found for free in the public records section at your county recorder's office. These days, many of the counties have them in online portals where you can download, name, property address and the lien details.
Many of these online portals are not user friendly or designed for easy download and processing to be flipped to cold cash. Many people are still watching old training videos and manually editing spreadsheets.
Can you make money that way? Yes. But I highly doubt it.
If you are lucky enough to get through the process of downloading the pre-foreclosure listings from the county recorder's online portal if that exists at all, you can then jump in your car and drive around town to knock on these doors in order to offer to buy the properties.
If you've followed me over the last 12 years, you probably already know how I feel about this campaign or contact strategy. If you are not sure, watch the video I released before this right after finishing.
Skip trace is the process of locating a person's whereabouts.
In the context of real estate investing and wholesaling, it's the process of finding their virtual contact information such as phone numbers and email addresses without leaving your house.
In this time and age, knowledge and information are cheap but time is a luxury. So it's important to conduct any business profitable with less time... leverage.
Finding a property owner's contact information without having to burn time driving around to go knock on doors only to get rejected most of the time is just not smart.
It’s not S.M.A.R.T.
Instead, you can spend as low as 20 cents to get additional contact data such as phone number per record and cold call or contact these homeowners to pique their interest in selling.
Can you make money this way? Absolutely. But not as likely as the next way I want to share with you.
Again, this is another level higher than the previous way. With this way, you can jump on a job board such as indeed or upwork and hire a virtual assistant who will collect and process the data in your pre-foreclosure listings and do the cold calling.
If you want to build a business, you need to leverage other people's time to go through the process so that you can align your personal energy and efforts with the actual business goals.
$82,000 highest net profit on a single deal, averaging $15,000 - $30,000 per deal.
Closed my first wholesale real estate deal in December 2005 with a $10,000 net profit right out of college with bad credit, no money for capital, no experience and no license.
This is OLA. 2 times author… Smart Real Estate Wholesaling and Real Estate Money Secrets.
I am doing an 11 days coaching challenge if you want to be the next with similar results in 7 simple steps starting right now.
The first of the 7 steps is to text the word ‘ACTIVATE’ to me at (732) 517-7532 and I will text the 2nd step to you right away.
Don't forget to like and share this video with a friend.
It's not about leveraging just other people's time, you should also be leveraging systems and software to collect pre-foreclosure listings data and processing it.
With a smart data driven system, you can even automate all of the 5 stages from data to deal in a smart way.
What is a smart way?
SMART is a well-established tool that you can use to plan and achieve your goals... in this case, the goals being collecting and flipping pre-foreclosure listings to cold cash.
SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.
I promised earlier that I will show you how to access buyers that automatically qualifies you as legitimate and able buyer if you know how to find deals.
Rewind this video a few minutes and take advantage of the first step of the 7 steps right now.
First of all, this is a stupid question.
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
According to Punch News, the man was deleted by his wife who set him ablaze after a conflict.
A family member of the victim said that the woman locked her husband up and set the house on fire over suspicion of an extra-marital affair.
That's the story and particularly that's all I need to know about the story. The part where a whole human life was deleted.
Until… of course… internet trolls started running their mouths carelessly.
By the way…
A quick shout out to my sister Bridget of Obodo Oyinbo TV where I was allowed to be a guest to discuss my personal observations and opinion of whether Red Pill-ed men are husband material or not.
I didn't go there as an expert. I went there as an observer of the red pill community with a personal opinion but also as a man who is blessed with results that many men desire.
To say the least, it was interesting. Just go ahead and search for “Obodo Oyinbo TV” on YouTube and support her. She is an extremely generous supporter of our platforms.
Back to this infidelity slash cheating slash human deletion story. Crazy right?
I personally heard a significant number of women saying he deserved to be roasted because he cheated on his lady.
Can you imagine a person who talks like this creating any good romantic experience for themselves and others in this life?
Answer me in the comment area below....
Some men said women should prepare for the fact that all men will cheat. Is that the solution to preventing these types of stories between lovers?
What exactly is the solution here without pretending that we don’t know that these people were once romantic lovers?
Most people having these conversations online continue to talk from their ass because they never acknowledge that these are or were romantic relationships where they never planned to end up in a terrible predicament.
They also never acknowledge how they could personally relate with these stories.
I will be forced to wonder if you are a coward even if you are right that the internet is not a safe space to speak your mind.
What is it about infidelity and cheating that will make you say stupid things that doesn't serve you or anyone listening?
To be clear again, that question "When will men learn?" is a stupid question.
Any question designed to ignite the epidemic of the digital gender war with or without good intentions and from men or women is a stupid question.
Gentlemen, endless subtle competition with women will always put you at a disadvantage.
Arguing with women with respect to romantic matters puts you below women; not equal but below.
I understand the over-reactive rhetoric against fake feminism a.k.a toxicity, but just like in a real life relationship, over-reaction are actions you are responsible for.
And like I said, it puts you at a disadvantage.
Gentlemen, you are indirectly subscribing to equality in romance, relationships and marriage when you engage endless arguments with women.
It doesn't work particularly because it discounts the complimentary strength in romantic relationships significantly.
How do you compliment each other if you are equal? That already sounds stupid right?
It is true. Two things can be true at the same time. But I am looking at this from a place of mindset abundance and/or scarcity. It's just a question to ask yourself.
Here is an example of statements that tells me that you as a man will think of yourself as equal to your woman and effectively become a loser that she will potentially dump.
And I quote...
"If you are going to judge a man based on his gender, you as a woman should expect the same thing from the men."
Let me guess. This is accountability right? False.
This is just a man who talks too damn much. This is a man who has already lost respect hence the cry out in the wrong direction for help.
I get it… Anyone, including women, could find that statement to be reasonable and harmless. But it is harmful to your mindset.
It is even more harmful for a man who talks like this from a place of ignorance, lack of experience and good intentions.
Good intentions are overrated.
You need wisdom and humility because your lens, filters and outlook on life have dangerous limitations especially when it comes to romantic relationships and marriage.
Oh... it's even worse if you are listening to Pick-Me women influencers encouraging you to hold your ground as a "MASCULINE STOIC" man. It's a set up. That’s weak.
If you don't believe me, marry one of them and I'm patient to discuss the outcome.
Masculinity with respect to romance and the human experience is rarely physical. It's energy. Invisible energy for the most part. And again, it's not the woman's responsibility to know that.
Let’s get back to the story.
The question "When will MEN learn?" was designed to leverage this terrible human deletion story to shame men who still believe in the family structure by way of the marriage institution into perpetual fear of women.
The shame is mostly coming from both men and women who have had terrible and traumatic experiences in romantic relationships.
It's "misery love company" syndrome at best.
I am sorry. There are stupid questions.
The outcome of asking such questions only perpetuates toxic rhetoric for those who may not be necessarily toxic but have real questions about love, relationships, marriage, cheating, infidelity etc.
Why is the question not…
“When will we as humans learn better ways of navigating romantic relationships that we obviously want, evident by our action not by the product of intellectual diarrhea on social media?
This story is not as relevant to poly or monogamy practice as much as we are making it. Those are practices by choice and not cowardice.
It’s also not as relevant to infidelity, cheating or any other obvious bad habits or behavior as they are making it.
Humans have bad behavior. Where is the surprise?
Also why did what I just said sound like encouraging bad behavior to you? If that's you, answer me in the comment area… but more importantly, answer the person in the mirror.
As for this story, that woman committed a capital crime. What leads to it is irrelevant once we start talking about a matter of life and life deletion.
This woman, sadly like many people walking around, was probably a watermelon mentally… green on the outside and red inside.
People are carrying a lot of toxic mental weight so you can agree that we should be aware that we can potentially offend the wrong people.
That does not give anyone the right to delete another person's life. It just makes sense to be aware.
For you and I, it's about knowing that anger is temporary insanity and you can create irreversible damages or at least self-sabotage.
This is about mental health; not for the criminal (it's too late for her) but for you and I.
As I was saying earlier, I heard men telling women to prepare for the fact that all men will cheat.
As a man, preparing women to enter marriage with the expectation that a man will cheat puts you at a much bigger disadvantage than just the effect of cheating; your bad behavior.
Can’t you see?
She may be weak enough to enter that marriage in spite of the warning but she will be on the edge in the marriage…
What enjoyment do you expect in a marriage where your woman is always on the edge, never feels safe and secure around you?
Instead of worrying about the nature or nurture of cheating and infidelity, you are better off putting that energy in preparing to create a safe space especially emotionally for your wife.
Ladies.. Yes we like to feel safe too.
I know that most people that spend a lot of time on conversations for or against cheating and infidelity are not cheaters; at least not chronic perpetual cheaters.
So at best, you are self sabotaging, talking so much about how you will never accept it or how you plan to tell women that you will cheat.
By the way, when you tell her up front, that's no longer considered cheating.
Your mouth will create an emotionally unsafe environment for your future marriage to thrive.
What I found interesting but not surprising during the whole discussion was the fact that no one talked about the emotional, psychological and mental state that could have created the story.
There was no shortage of empathy, sympathy, proclamation of what people will NEVER accept even though there is an obvious lack of experience to accurately assess that.
There was useless advice on what type of man and woman to run away from. The problem is that these things are not written on the forehead.
Most people entering marriage are not preparing for the inevitable crisis and conflict that will hit every marriage; and single life.
That’s even if you think the solution is to avoid marriage and long term relationships.
If you are going to still have sex, you will end up in the courts and become another traumatic cancer for the society.
By the way, they are conflicts because they often come from blind spots.
If you say you will never accept a cheater, congrats. That problem is solved. The devil, however, knows not to come for you from a cheating standpoint.
Anyway, Instead of the typical nonsense from long-stroking influencers who are just in this to make money, I want to encourage you to prepare to maintain a healthy mental stability for the rest of your life.
I want you to know that anyone is capable of losing their mind… particularly mentally... and especially people who tend to be obsessed with ideologies, faith, culture, religion with no wisdom around application and relationships.
You cannot control other people. Stop trying. You can only control yourself and then subsequently or hopefully influence the results you are looking for in life.
I don’t think a normal person will literally roast another person. I don’t think another human is capable of making another human commit such an act either.
However we are all influencing ourselves directly and indirectly. I think she became crazy, lost her mind and committed a capital crime.
For her, everything before the crime doesn’t matter. She is done in this society.
Learn how to leave a toxic relationship before your tipping point is obvious… leave first… it doesn’t have to be a permanent decision.
If you can’t leave because of fear… that’s obviously a bigger problem; lack of self-respect, self-love, self-esteem, self-confidence.
Stop pouring from an empty cup.
Is being assertive more attractive to a husband?
So my husband ended up on our sister... Aunty Bridget's platform; Obodo Oyinbo TV. She was discussing "Lack of Eligible Bachelors in the Diaspora."
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
Though the discussion took a whole new turn in the direction of why it's absolutely single women's fault in this time and age for having a hard time finding eligible and competent husbands, one of the highlights was the ladies trying to sell the idea of the assertive wife.
What really happened?
So one of the highlights of that debate was the assertive wife. What does it mean to be assertive?
The definition from Oxford as displayed on Google says "having or showing a confident and forceful personality."
Those are two things.
Can you see why dictionary meanings are a terrible guide to romantic relationships and marriage just as much as common sense is?
Yes. They are usually full of assumptions, presumptions and often reflect only one side of reality.
In romantic relationships and marriage, the reality is that there are at least two realities because the parties tend to experience the relationship differently.
Yurp! I was listening in the background at first as they debated if being assertive is an attractive trait for a woman... especially a woman who wants to become a wife.
There was some confusion with regards to if some of these women truly want to be wives or not. When I hear people say things like "not all women want to be married" or "I'm not desperate to marry", it leaves me with... okayyyyyyy.....
YES! While no one should be desperate to marry, single people also have to be careful with indirectly planning not to marry if the reality is far from what is being expressed.
What is being said by you as a quote on quote "Assertive People" can absolutely steal your chances of true joy... not just marriage but in general even if you have no bad intentions.
While certain statements can be true, I would be left to wonder why anyone who does not want to be married or feel like they don't have to be married would be involved so passionately in conversations about marriage.
Just a question…
NEWSFLASH: She flirted with me... but she did not TOAST me...
And I promise it was the sexiest thing ever because it felt like confidence.
The worst thing ever is a low self-esteem woman, wife or wife-to-be with symptoms revealing itself as a concoction of assertiveness and just being plain rI could be wrong but I would bet that this mindset will help repel the manifestation of a husband or marriage. Our mindset as humans has its way of becoming our reality.
Exactly! That could very much be a disadvantage of being an assertive person.
There are many assertive wives with good intentions mixed with a little frustration but low levels of emotional intelligence.
Their actions showcase more of how they feel inside more so than their words which only showcases a stronghold of an opinion... even asserting an honest opinion does not necessarily equals the absence of a disrespectful attitude.
Oftentimes, there is a disconnect between our feelings and our expressed opinions.
It's not necessarily the intentions. Just something to be self-aware of especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
Innocent assertiveness doesn't guarantee that a honest well-intent husband or husband-to-be will not receive your well-intent assertions as disrespectful; these are emotions.
What else did they talk about?
They talked about flirting and many of the ladies were confusing flirting with coming off as easy and desperate.
Ladies… If you want us to share some flirting tips where you don't have to come off as desperate to a man... you can request in the comment area.
Yes! I understand assertiveness is supposedly "a healthy way of communicating and the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful."
That's cute. That's the intention part of it. A romantic partner you care about, because of reasons beyond you, can receive it as disrespectful.
You will put yourself as a disadvantage if you argue with this.
Sure you can say that's their problem. But because this is a romantic relationship and not a contest or a competition, that becomes your problem by default too.
It's not your fault. It's just an emotional dynamic you are better off being aware of.
Is this insecurity on an intimidated man's part?
Yes! And that's not a crime. All humans have insecurity and we are never 100% secure in ourselves. Insecurity is like our shadow. We can't run from it.
What we don't want is an unhealthy level of insecurity, indications being consistent revelation in many aspects of a controlling and abusive relationship. This is best addressed with the help of a counselor and not by running from it.
If anything, it can also be a powerful thing, a point of leverage and seduction to know that the way you move as a woman and a wife can start to make your man feel mildly insecure.
But yes… too much of it will make you feel unsafe as a woman.
True. A lot of women tend to look at insecure men as intimidated. It can be dangerous rhetoric and here is why.
It means you are starting to look at the man as weak. Most women are not attracted to weak men even if it's ordinarily a perspective and not reality.
While you can feel like you dodge a bullet avoiding an insecure man if you are in the wife-to-be stage, you are going to end up feeling not-so-lucky when your future husband gets hit with an inevitable life crisis.
That makes a man question himself and his manhood. A symptom of that is insecurity and it's not always obvious it's not about you or your fault.
If you are inclined to accuse him of being intimidated, you will then make things worse for you as a couple and your marriage.
You can help destroy your marriage just like that.
True! For many of us women, there is nothing sexier than an assertive husband who can speak up for himself in a loving and respectful way.
I don't care how truthful and honest you are. If it feels like evil to me, you go collect.
Wortorwotor! So a well-intent assertive wife does not come off as a respectful wife. But it can also reflect confidence in a man and confidence is always sexy.
It's not about the semantics of being assertive. It's about how your husband or husband-to-be is receiving you emotionally on the other end of the romance from a reasonable standpoint.
With that being said, some men are coming from terrible experiences and are actively looking for disrespect unintentionally so they will find the slightest confidence or assertiveness as disrespectful.
These things are to be handled case-by-case. Avoid generalizations. You and I would agree that a forceful personality in the name of assertiveness just doesn’t sound pleasant.
There are 21 verses that describe a wife of noble character in Proverb 31. It’s fair that one word “assertive” has its limitations.
First of all, what is body count?
It’s simply the number of men a woman has had consensual sexual intercourse with in her lifetime… at least that’s what most of the conversation accounts for; women.
In recent times, there has been an increasing reference to body counts when people talk about dating, relationships and marriage.
What exactly is going on? Let me tell you a story.
I counseled a young man. 32 years old who happens to be with a 26 years girlfriend.
His issue narrows down to being uncomfortable and insecure sometimes after noticing that his girlfriend’s story as related to body count is not consistent.
He really wants to know the truth but as a fact of life, he will never know the truth because of the inconsistency in her story.
What’s her real body count? Is it 4 or 7 as she previously stated? He will continue to wonder.
I asked him why he couldn’t just leave this girl… there was never a straight answer so it’s safe to conclude that he didn’t have the balls to leave like most modern men.
But guess what… his girl wants some space now… And I quote…
“It’s not you. It’s me. I lost myself. I need to find myself and then we can talk.”
Damn. las las las las… na everybody go chop breakfast… shayooooo
Let’s bust some myths around body count.
Ladies. The truth is that you already don’t feel safe with this particular guy we are talking about.
If you do, it will effortlessly roll off your tongue before you remember the promise you gave yourself to never share.
Not just that. You also are not too proud of your body count as a lady. You are not abnormal.
As off press time, it’s pretty normal for a lady to keep this type of information sacred.
How much more… with the idea of sharing it with a man you don’t feel safe and secure with.
In fact, I think a woman that out-rightly tells the true body count “willy nilly” is a red flag at an emotional level.
I know I just triggered someone.
At the surface, it’s honesty and transparency but when real life starts happening, it can translate to so many other emotional turmoils.
If you want me to expound more on this, do tell in the comment area below.
I am guessing that it does or it is starting to matter even more; hence your question.
Many progressive minded “live and let live” types of people would say it doesn’t matter
"Do what works for you?" I've found also that's just as much an extreme stupidity and not reality.
Others who may be conservative (especially modern men camouflaged as traditional) would claim it does matter…
Citing reasons that don’t hold water such as high body count leading to:
Someone asked…”what about the blood of Jesus? haha.”
Some modern men even say men have always wanted a virgin. This is not exactly true. Some people don't really give a shit unless the ladies lifestyle is making it that obvious.
This is a lame man's talk and precisely because they talk too damn much these days... with the whole mouth. Wise men don't talk like this.
What about the moral compass that created these weird ass excuses to be obsessed with a stranger's body count?
At this point, I have a question for you.
Many “modern men” claim this is just an honest consideration when you are vetting a woman to marry. Yea right. sure!
But isn’t there a difference between consideration and obsession?
Please drop your answer in the comment box below.
I can definitely agree that it means territory for most guys.
The problem with modern men is their weird and weak methods of marking that territory.
When you really listen deeply to the underlying emotions of the 10 weird reasons I highlighted earlier, that’s a man trying to mark his territory with insecurity and flawed logic.
Here is why it won’t work.
The woman is an incubator and she will multiply that insecurity and everything that a man brings to her…naturally; the product is negative.
If you argue with this reality, you will surfer.
Have you noticed that this body count rhetoric tends to attract accusations of misogyny, fragile ego, small dick (especially when you run around social claiming that body count leads to a sunk vagina... like a borehole.) and etc.
I even heard a woman say "...at this rate, I’m convinced men have vaginas too.” Damn...
Gentlemen... How you feel about body count is valid but we have to come up with better arguments.
A lot of men on the men's side of this conversation are attempting to control another human in 2022 and beyond. It doesn't work.
If you don't understand the difference between maintaining your power with influence as against control, you will suffer.
I've also seen enough modern women, the only type of woman that exists today by the way, trying to tell modern men that body count doesn't matter.
Well, it's not really about body count. It's a sense of territory.
Forcefully linking body count to killing pair bonding abilities and promiscuity without individualizing it will continue to put you at disadvantage.
The real simp uses every conversation about body counts to get triggered. They don't stop at shaming women in general. They move to shame any man who attempts to hold them accountable.
"Simping won’t get you female approval."
"Stop trying to be a panty collector."
...all in the same breath of booty clapping for other men and trying to save prostitutes in order to change them to housewives.
As usual, results and time will tell us the real truth and who the real simps are.
Scarcity mindset is a cancer that spreads very fast to other aspects of life. If you don't believe me, I am patient. I will wait.
The modern man is scared shitless of their woman imagining another man fucking them while fucking…
Nothing good comes out of operating out of fear. You will hurt yourself emotionally attempting to catch all the information in a romantic relationship.
1st rule: Relax.
If you want me to address this more, hit the thumbs up and indicate in the comment below.
We can address questions like:
What’s a good body count for a girl?
What's the average body count for a 20 year old woman?
What is a high body count for a guy?
What body count is too high for a girl?
Does body count matter for a woman?
Why is a high body count a turn off?
Does body count have the same effect on the genders?
For now, I will leave you with this. If you have to explicitly ask a girl what her body count is in order to have a good idea, you deserve to be told a lie because she will.
Women don't count every body anyway. Not all bodies count for women. You are fooling yourself if you are obsessed with body count. But it doesn't mean it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
If you want, indicative by the response to this video with the like button and your comments below, I will dive into the social, spiritual and emotional side of this conversation.
Can you make $10,000 per month knocking on doors in your neighborhood with a simple script of exactly what to say to pre-foreclosures? Yes. That's exactly what I am about to share with you in this video.
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
But first, please go ahead and like, share and subscribe to this channel and I will be sharing more videos around this topic.
Also, use the comment area below to let me know if there is anything specific you want me to cover in the next video.
We are talking about pre-foreclosure in real estate and how to make $10,000 per month with it. What the heck is pre-foreclosure?
Pre-foreclosure is the first phase of a legal proceeding that ultimately can conclude in a property being repossessed from a defaulted mortgage loan borrower.
Default means that the monthly mortgage payments are stopped due to some type of life crisis.
The lender of the mortgage loan files a notice of default on the property in pre-foreclosure because the borrowing owner exceeds the contractual terms for delinquent payments.
That's typically about 60-90 days. It depends on what state the subject property is located.
If we are lucky enough to have you as a subscriber on this platform, you know we talk a lot about a real estate money making strategy called wholesale real estate where you do not need cash for capital, good credit, experience or license to make money.
We simply use marketing campaigns to find deeply discounted properties, lock them up under a purchase contract and sell the equitable rights in the contract to an end buyer who is typically an investor who wants to fix it up and resell for profits.
Based on my personal experience, you can make up to $82,000 from one single deal, average $15,000 to $30,000 and make as low as nothing on a deal.
“Making nothing” has happened to me once ever since 2005 because of unforeseen circumstances.
Wholesale real estate as a 5 stages process from data to deal starts with... you guessed it... DATA.
Precisely, we are talking about data of distressed homeowners. One of such types of data is pre-foreclosure.
It's safe to assume that a home listed at the county government building on the public pre-foreclosure list represents a nightmare to the homeowner; hence the phrase "distressed homeowner".
Access to pre-foreclosure data also represents the beginning of fortunes for anyone who knows how to turn the concept of “data to deals” to a system that can be used, rinse and repeat over and over again.
This is a money making strategy that I stumbled into while I was in the middle of my masters degree program (Engineering Management) back in 2005.
I went on to turn it into a system (which included a script) that made me so much money before the market crash in 2008. At the time, I didn't appreciate the power of the scripts and the system I had created... not until another 6 years (2014).
At the time of recording this, there is a recession looming that has not been officially announced yet but the reality is that the latest report from the Bureau of Labor and Statistics reports a 9.1% inflation rate — the highest since 1981.
Because of this system that has now been refined and cleaned up with my experience and the availability of technology, I won't be making the same mistake I made back in 2008.
With turning pre-foreclosure to profits through the stages...
Stage 1 - Data
Stage 2 - Contact
Stage 3 - Leads
Stage 4 - Contract
Stage 5 - Leads
This is the time to take this business seriously and get off the sidelines. The opportunities are endless for you and I to take advantage of.
Please be safe out there but here is the script for door knocking pre-foreclosure:
If you get a "NO" on any of those questions, simply thank them for their time and don't forget to ask for referrals. "Oh okay. Thanks for your time, do you know anyone that needs to get rid of any unwanted property?"
Don't give up so soon. Give them a business card in case they need to reach out if they encounter anyone... you never know.
Now... door knocking is an old school way of closing your first deal and many more after. But there is also a new school way of doing it.
Door knocking is a contact stage outreach campaign strategy that works but there is a big challenge here and I want to carefully spell it out for you.
Before I do that, if door knocking is working for you or has worked for you, all you have to do is to keep doing what you are doing and leave this video right now.
But if it has never worked for you or you just have a feeling based on your prediction that it won't work for you,
..or you want to scale your business faster, easier and simpler leveraging simple technology,
The good news is that there are at least 3 new school ways of attracting even better quality distressed homeowners and motivated seller leads that already know they want to give away their house to you.
The big challenge of door knocking as a contact outreach campaign is if you are willing to keep working until it works or if you will quit before it works. Big question right?
Share your thoughts below in the comment area please
Before you leave, be sure to access my 2 books for free:
Smart real estate wholesaling and Real Estate Money secrets... at www.smartrealestatewholesaling.com
You will also get an invite to access my exclusive membership...at the time of recording this video at just $1. You will be able to access 2 different coaching programs that normally cost a minimum of $2,500 each.
Wow... isn't she lovely... Ms. Joke Silva. A.k.A Mrs. Joke Olu-Jacobs, the wife of a veteran Nigerian actor who starred in several British television series and international films...
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And whose 80th birthday was celebrated by friends and lovers around the world from Lagos Nigeria on Sunday, July 10th, 2023.
If you are looking for a wife or looking to maintain a blissful marriage long term with your wife, I have extracted 5 simple but massive tips for you to apply to your own life.
The first tip is to marry a woman whose name is Joke.
Okay... That was a joke... no pun intended. My beautiful wife's middle name is also Joke. But the chances of you finding a Joke is slimmed to almost none.
I do have another 5 tips for you.
And I QUOTE...
"‘Wow! This is the standard of the woman I’m going to marry."
That was what Olu Jacobs told his wife of some 37+ years when he first laid eyes on this beautiful young woman who was in her early 20's at the time.
Listen. We don't know them personally... but never mind all that... This is “couple goals”.
At least, we can see a real life example of what marriage was designed to do even in the entertainment industry which is notorious for random divorces.
Did you see my last video on Funke Akindele and JJC Akindele… Gentlemen… we have to step our game up. These women belong to you if you can get your sh*t together.
Don't you get tired of the horrible divorce, paternity fraud, and etc stories?
Anyway, if you are struggling in dating, relationships, marriage, parenting, career etc... Consider sending me a text message with the word "HELP" to +1 (732) 517-7532 and I will see what I can do.
Let's countdown the 5 tips from Mr Olu Jacobs and Ms Joke Silva.
A lot of young men these days, in response to the decline to the pride that comes with the nuclear family, are now subscribing to archaic ideologies as a quick solution.
In fact, it's a major talking point that one of the signs of unruly women is when they choose to keep their maiden name as opposed to changing to their husband's family name as the new last or surname.
While I recognize the pride attached to the culture of women changing names once they get married, there is something to say to a man who is secure in himself enough to say these words and managed to keep his home together for 37+ years.
And I'm quote...
“She is her individual.
When I met her, she was an actress known as Joke Silva, so why should marrying me deny her audience her name.
She is Miss Joke Silva, who is Mrs Joke Jacobs.
It is as simple as that.
People now begin to say all sorts. They have even written that we are separated and all sorts of stuff.
When she is working, she is Joke Silva, but she is Mrs Joke Jacobs at home,”
That was Olu Jacobs speaking to rumors in the past. Tabloids used to be entertainment for women.
But sadly in this modern era, men would join and shame this man who actually is an example of their secret desired results.
They shame him because he chose not to have an unhealthy attachment to the ideology of his wife changing her brand name after getting married as far back as 37+ years ago in the still "traditional non-westernized" Nigeria.
You’ve sworn you know everything about the traditional Africans right?
Sure you should stand for something so you don't fall just for anything. But as a man, you must know how to identify and create valid exceptions in life. If you don't, you will suffer from your own ignorance.
In a few Instagram posts on July 10th, 2023, you can see Ms. Joke Silva fitting her husband, visually appearing to be in his old age but also sick with a condition called Dementia with Lewy bodies.
Dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB) is a type of progressive dementia that leads to a decline in thinking, reasoning and independent function.
Many young man today are stupidly concerned about how much weight a lady gains after having the first baby when that's fundamentally an attraction issue that should have been ironed out earlier.
Others worried about superficial nonsense like if she makes more money or not... fundamentally an insecurity issue on the part of the man.
In reality, these are the least of your issues when you are doing life with a person you love and are in-love with. Inevitably, crises will fall on you and whoever you are spending time with in life.
If you are an immature person, the easiest thing for you to do is to blame it on the closest person or things like finances, infidelity, in-laws.... but the reality is that there are deeper issues…
And Ultimately… you do not know tomorrow… but yet acting like God.
Focus on finding a wife... a good thing... someone you can see yourself with when you are sick and 90 years olds... flat boobs, wrinkle... and all.... provided you feel a physical attraction to them today.
Anxiety about tomorrow and yesterday will destroy and rob you of your chances of achieving true joy.
Clearly... Olu Jacobs is reaping what he sowed over the last 37 years and most likely beyond.
When Aunty Joke first met Uncle Olu at a rehearsal around 1981, she had heard a lot of good things about him... “a man coming from England to play the lead role.”
The anticipation and excitement about a person she had never met... she looked forward to meeting him.
In this time and age, there are many men of all ages sadly roaming around social media creating reputations of polar opposite.
Many ladies are pinged into online and social media spaces to hear how some men have chosen to address women in disrespectful, generalized and rude manners.
That's also a form of reputation right?
Well, Law 5 of the 48 laws of power by Robert Greene says "So Much Depends on Reputation — Guard It with Your Life."
Question of the day: Do you think Mr Olu Jacobs' reputation that worked ahead of him made it easier for him to woo a fine lady like Ms Joke Silva or it didn't matter what type of reputation it was?
Answer me in the comment area below.
When they first met, here was his first statement and I quote... "Wow! This is the standard of the woman I’m going to marry."
Ms Joke Silva thought it was a rubbish pick up line. But she said, he continued to demonstrate being a "wonderful" person during the rehearsals.
She thought he realized... and I quote... "He had made a faux pas and tried to get in my good graces after that. And we became excellent friends."
I would argue that he confidently forgave himself as fast as humanly possible if at all necessary and moved on to demonstrate self-respect, self-validation, high self-esteem which in turn made her feel safe and secure around him.
Does a typical woman feel safe and secure around you after running your mouth online? I am not talking about the women advocating for men’s rights online.
Are you attracting the S.I.G.N language from the typical woman and having a hard time holding yourself accountable?
Shame, Insults, Guilt, Need to be right… Nagging. Or maybe… you are the first to beat the ladies to the S.I.G.N language… “these 304s ain’t sh*t!”
What I observe these days are a bunch of young men who need external validation in order to remain in their masculine frame; an oxy-freaking-moron.
They need the modern woman to be checked and roasted constantly; needy behavior.
The feminine energy is there ready to receive, multiply and reciprocate back to you. It’s like the ocean with a massive chaotic-like trend. If you attempt to swim against it, you will drown yourself.
That's a whole series of processes, it takes time and that whole phenomenon and the respect that comes with it will be earned; no exceptions. Yes! The beautiful feminine energy is conditional.
The conditions and passing the non-intentional and endless shit tests from women overall is what makes you a man.
If you have problems with this reality, you will attempt to "fake-masculine" and demand respect and you will fall flat on your face all bruised up 100% of the time.
Feel free to try and prove me wrong.
In no way, shape or form am I asking you to engage an unruly or disrespectful woman and attempt saving her, you will fail.
But I will continue to hold you accountable for engaging unruly or disrespectful community of women and attempting to save them.
It's a YOU problem. Stop the cap and Fix YOU!
OTA2022.1-I QUIT! The Profitable Exit | Wholesale Real Estate
I QUIT! The Profitable Exit | Wholesale Real Estate
This is OLA coming to you live from myEmpirePRO studios and we are back to the basics of wholesale real estate.
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Listen… it was a much needed spike and hype… but may be more so natural.
I’ve seen this happen quite a few times since I launched my career as an entrepreneur with wholesaling and short-saling real estate back in 2005.
The ups and the downs… both big and small… in fact, my first successful business was wiped out completely with the 2008 recession. So, I’ve seen this a few times since then but we are still standing.
As you know I teach smart real estate wholesaling here with the most affordable training and coaching platform. A big part of the idea behind that is to be able to thrive in any market.
Some of the most successful wholesalers in recent times are about to go broke because they were plugged in on non-evergreen “good times” types of systems.
What do I mean by “good times”?
You see every business type is cyclical in nature. The same is true for all 5 stages of the wholesale real estate business model.
There are times when every aspect of it is super easy and there are times when it is super hard…. but also every in-between possibilities.
What is Wholesale Real Estate?
Wholesale real estate is the art and science of finding a deeply discounted property leveraging digital age marketing skills, locking the property up in a purchase contract…
…and finally selling the equitable rights to purchase the property to an end buyer investor who will typically fix up and resell.
You can make any where from $0 to $82,000 net profit per deal based on my personal experience. I’ve averaged between $15,000 and $30,000 per deal in my experience.
Here are the 5 stages of the wholesale real estate business model.
STAGE 1 - Data
For obvious reasons, this is the most important stage of all five. I personally use the tool at www.EmpireBIGData.com for this.
STAGE 2 - Contact
This is the state where you set up marketing campaigns to contact or attract motivated sellers to initiate contact with you. You can use the same tool.
STAGE 3 - Lead
Once a contact is initiated with an able and willing motivated seller, it is now in a lead stage.
STAGE 4 - Contract
After successful negotiations, a contract is drawn up and executed with agreed terms between you as a buyer and the seller. The contract creates equitable rights for you. There are specific strategies to make the equitable rights transferable for a fee.
STAGE 5 - Deal
At the final stage, a profitable exit is facilitated when you sell the equitable rights to purchase the property to an end buyer investor.
This is where I quit or EXIT the deal and walk away with $15,000 - $30,000 just to repeat the whole process.
So in recent times, the business became so attractive that hedge funds started buying a tons of rights to these deals in bulk.
They were buying them as much as up to 90% of the property ARV.
What is ARV?
ARV is the after repair value of a piece of property. We simply pull up 6 months old or less comparable or comp recent sales within one mile radius proximity to the subject property and perform a weighted average.
That’s tells us the ARV or after repair value of the subject property. Again, my favorite tool for this business, www.EmpireBIGData.com does this seamlessly in less than one minute.
Traditionally and more sustainably, our maximum allowable offer (MAO) for any property is 65% of the ARV.
As I was saying, the influx of the hedge fund buyers allowed many to be able to pay up to 90% of the ARV. Many wholesalers have made stupid insane amount of money damn near almost printing money until recently.
They would close a few deals and in less than one year, start selling courses in upwards of $45,000 for coaching and become overnight millionaires.
Well… the party is over. Back to basics and evergreen methods which I never stopped teaching.
Good times create weak business people and lucky you… I experienced my first recession in 2008 and I only share sustainable business models.
When you are plugged in on an evergreen system like our 11 days challenge, you can’t go wrong because it’s built to thrive during bad times and laugh at everyone else during good times because you can see where it’s going.
If you are listening to this, there is a good chance you are already going through the 11 days challenge. If not, first of all download my book for free at www.smartrealestatewholesaling.com to understand the system.
Then you will get an invitation to join the 11 days challenge. You will not be spending $45,000 on coaching. God forbid! If you hurry, we have a promo for $1.
You heard me… One Dollar!
The only downside to getting started extremely affordably is that people who don’t pay tend not to pay attention. I just want you to be aware of that massive risk.
So it’s about to get interesting. Many of the gurus are about to panic and go broke because the hedge funds are panicking right now and pulling out of deals.
Many regular consumers who overpaid for houses during the last upward trends are also about to end in an avalanche of pre-foreclosures in many counties around the United States.
Right now, you can position to capitalize on this massive opportunity. Traditional cash buyers are standing by ready to pay you handsomely for finding these deals.
All the big sharks who entered the business will tens of millions of dollars are disappearing overnight for breaking our traditional rules in wholesaling.
But humans still need shelter right?
Misfortunes still happen right? Sadly!
Pre-foreclosure list and departments are still being maintained at the county government house right?
The business is not going anywhere. Regulations may adjust and optimize to accommodate safe environment for consumers.
Real entrepreneurs know how to pivot accordingly. I have been doing exactly that for about 18 years now.
Let me teach you how to find me deals all from home… even if you do not leave in the United States and I will pay you $10,000 for finding me a United States deal all digitally.
Come on in and let’s make money together.
News broke out that JJC Skillz and his superstar wife Funke Akindele are now separated.
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
Who is Funke Akindele?
With tons of awards, she is arguably one of the biggest actresses out of Nigeria’s movie industry which is the biggest by volume in the world and number two with respect to everything else.
She is featured in tons of movies on Netflix. Just search her name. She is also popularly known as Jenifa which is one of her most popular series and a movie version which if I’m not mistaking, she directed.
According to wikipedia, she got married to a British-Nigerian rapper popularly known as JJC Skillz.
In December 2018, they welcomed twin boys as a couple.
On June 30, 2022, JJC Skillz announces that they are parting way in a post I saw on an Instagram profile; instablog9JA
I want to share some wisdom with you with regards to this from a man who has been married for well over a decade.
But first… here is the announcement I saw…
And I quote!
“Dear Friends and family I need to let you know that Funke and I have separated. While it lasted we shared a lot of things together and have created 2 beautiful children.
The last two years have been extremely difficult for us. I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now.
3 months ago and at Funkes insistence I moved out of the house and apart from AMVCA have not been able to get Funke to sit down in an amicable manner to discuss the future of our relationship.
I’m making this announcement so that the public is clear that we both are pursuing separate lives.
We still have issues that need to be addressed such as the custody and wellbeing of our children which is paramount as well as business interests which need to be disentangled but I have no doubt that these will be resolved one way or the other
Mr Abdul Bello”
The speculation from sources close to their camp is that Funke is proud… as in arrogant for those who do not understand Nigerian English.
According to an Abimbola on Clubhouse who claimed to know Funke, he said… “though JJC Skillz is not perfect, Funke is not an easy woman to deal with.”
A few months ago, JJC Skillz’s son from his previous relationship dropped some revealing information about their extended family.
It included allegations of child abuse… some serious direct “panel beating” on his son’s head while actually driving in the middle of London street.
As a step son, he also testified to allegations against Funke Akindele that… And I quote…
“She slaps her workers and calls them names. She accuses people of dating JJC Skillz.”
He went on to say Funke has cheated on his Dad.
On the day of the announcement, there were 300,000 Nigerians on ClubHouse arguing JJC Skillz’ financial status before merging life together with Funke.
But then I noticed that none of them was able to substantiate how he was making any substantial amount of money that we can match against what Funke Akindele had going for years before him due to her status.
But I guess that’s beside the point.
Apparently, JJC Skillz had his son live with them and many conflicts ensued that he clearly could not resolve.
But let’s talk about this condescending statement he made.
And I quote…
“I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now. “
This statement is as typical as it comes when a man has just failed in a relationship or marriage (chop breakfast) and he is butt hurt.
It’s disrespectful to himself at best.
The least he could do is change all the I’s in that PR statement to include the mother of his kids.
That will reflect more self-respect than trying to play Mr Perfect who survived a failed marriage.
Is Funke Akindele Perfect or a Toxic Woman?
Apparently, there was a leaked video where Funke was accusing him of cheating and using company funds without proper accountability…
If you have access to that, please share with others in the comment area.
Are you noticing a pattern with high status women with regards to marriage?
Why can’t people be like Omotola Ekehinde (another actress) and her husband who is a professional air pilot?
To me, it’s been clear that Funke and JJC Skillz’ marriage has been going through the mud and it’s very sad for the institution of marriage.
Here are the allegations…
I’ve heard people quoting a blogger called gistlover claiming the cause of separation to be:
I heard someone say they should have gotten married with a joint bank account. I think that’s an ignorant suggestion.
The person said … and I quote “after all, he is the husband and why can’t he take money from their business account?”
First of all… that’s all speculation.
But let’s be clear. If you as a man choose to go marry a woman of higher status like Funke Akindele, the only joint document you should be expecting to sign is a prenup if her team knows what that hell they are doing.
You can check out Kandi Burruss and Todd of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
So this guy had been posting a few proverbial songs on social media for a few days prior to his terrible amateur announcement…
This is all “unrealistic expectations” at best.
Funke Akindele is damn near the biggest actress in Nigeria. How do you not expect that to come with a healthy amount of ego that is not necessarily deliberate?
So even if she is guilty of the accusations of arrogance, that will be in addition to the natural.
As usual, this is a terrible version of unrealistic expectation mixed with egotistical pride on steroids.
Ok so apparently and allegedly, JJC Skillz and Funke Akindele lived in a 7 bedroom house but yet had to rent another house in town for his other extended family.
Is This What Funke is Guilty of?
So somehow, that 7 bedroom-family house is for the extended family and not a nuclear family?
Please… in the comment area… help me make this make sense.
I am in no way exonerating Funke here.
But my job on this channel is to hold the leader of the household accountable.
It’s not an indictment. I am just pointing out your leverage point as a man which includes the choice to walk away and mean it when necessary as a leverage for best negotiations.
Gentlemen. We can’t negotiate desire. We can’t afford to discount the power of desire, attraction, emotions and seduction in romantic relationships. These are skills you must learn.
Funke is most likely not going to make a statement… that’s her track record.
But here we have a man who couldn’t wait to run to social media to make such a condescending announcement about his own family. Your ex-spouse, especially with kids made together, remains your family for the rest of your life.
I have to be honest with you. I expect to see more excuses for JJC Skillz outside of holding him to account for his decisions.
After all, you as a man can control your decisions more than you can control another human being who clearly has a higher status in society than you.
To be married to a Funke Akindele, a man will need to be 100% secured in himself.
Newsflash: That’s almost impossible.
Why can’t she just submit to her husband? It’s not that simple.
Even if she tries to submit, insecurities of a typical man will creep to the surface and attract disrespect from a typical woman of higher status.
We are not talking about people on salaries here. There is nothing wrong with a wife making more money than you as a man… but don’t do it… especially if you think there is no such thing as an insecure man.
That’s precisely what you are with that belief system. Don’t bother trying it.
Funke Akindele is a woman of a certain status and she’s been that… long before JJC Skillz came into the picture.
If you’ve been paying attention, sadly, these things are predictable.
That’s especially true in the modern age.
This is the actual reality that many men are having a hard time adjusting for.
I’ve noticed that they’d rather talk about their fantasies of going back to 1933 ways of doing marriage.
So the fact is that men need intensive coaching to marry in this time and age.
Also divorcees should definitely stay away from marriage until intensive 1 year coaching.
I offer all those things extremely affordably. The only excuse is ego.