Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com. As usual, we’ve received your messages either in the comment area or to questions@LOLAandOLA.com
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And we are happy to continue to share tips from our 18+ years experience in this game of marriage and relationships.
Today, we are responding to 3 different comments and messages. And the first one says…
“Going through this right now. We still do things at home together, stop going out due to the separation…”
And here is the second one…
“I have all the 5 signs that show a wife's disrespect to her husband. Now I'm wondering how to deal with those wives with these signs.”
This was actually a comment response to a video we did a while back that has 20,000+ views on it.
Just search “5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU LOLA and OLA” on Youtube after watching this. It comes right up.
Here is a quick recap of the 5 signs of a disrespectful wife that was mentioned in that video:
1 - She utters rude remarks
2 - She gives you the silent treatment
3 - She doesn't sought after your advice and opinion
4 - She seems to honor other people's advices and opinions more
5 - She doesn't defend you when necessary
And then there was this comment…
“My wife started to disrespect me in secret back in 2022. She started lying and twerking on TikTok, commenting on guys' pictures and videos etc.
I just found this out this year after a big argument and I made one just to check and I couldn't believe that I was watching my wife.
So I made her delete TikTok and I got on her Facebook and almost the same stuff. But when I asked her to delete it, she blocked me and told me I need to act my age.
And that people onTikTok don't mean anything.
I said of course they do if you post this kinda’ content, then liking their comments when honestly they are calling you a 304 and me a fool.”
.
As usual, we have consolidated the answer into 5 tips to help you deal with a disrespectful wife even in the middle of a separation.
Let’s get into it.
This is probably not the time to start buying flowers and begging her to work on the relationship. I want you to focus on being comfortable with each other even if it doesn’t involve romance.
The fear that will probably creep through you is this. “What if she actually moves on?”
The question is moving on to what? After all, you need a confidence that showcases that you are the best option for her anyway.
Just trust the process and let go of everything you believed about marriage except friendship for now.
The strength of the friendship you build in this period has no choice but to spread to everything else way better than obsession and attachments could.
It’s always good to wait for the decision maker of the present status to decide to change that decision. It’s even better when you emotionally attract them to do so.
People can argue this with me… but when women go on social media to twerk, it’s a sign of insecurity and low self esteem.
She is most likely crazing unhealthy attention and it’s to do so when she doesn’t value what she has at home.
The point is that there are deeper issues at play and what you are seeing as signs are ordinary symptoms.
Guess what happens when you treat symptoms. It will give you a fake sense of relief but it’s coming back.
And when it comes back, the symptoms are going to be worse because the disease never left. It might even be cancerous and spread to other areas that weren't previously infected.
So don’t focus too much on the symptoms or signs. A root cause analysis is needed.
Let me guess. I know what you are thinking.
You are thinking that married couples, space and distance don’t go together. But that’s actually not how attraction works.
One of the signs of low levels of attraction is disrespect and in Nigeria slangs we can also call that “see finish”.
When a relationship is no longer exciting for whatever reasons, it’s easy to find laying around convenient reasons to be disrespectful.
Put it like this. A woman who is in love with you will find it hard to be disrespectful even if there are good excuses… I’m not sure if there is a good excuse.
Distance makes the heart fonder. It may be as simple as taking each other for granted for being around too much.
You need space. If you are not careful, she will be asking you for space very soon.
When you say what you have to say to address a disrespect, make sure you mean it.
A sign that you don’t really mean it or believe it is when you have to repeat yourself.
If a disrespectful wife is not responding to your request after saying it more than 2 times, there is a chance that form of communication is not working.
There is also a chance that there are deeper issues that you will likely not find out because you are busy talking too much.
Your rare ability to let it go after saying what you have to say no more than 2 times demonstrates self confidence, self worth, self respect and more.
Speaking of self respect…
As we were preparing for this episode, a further elaboration came through the comment section to one of the earlier comments.
And I quote…
“I know she has narcissistic tendencies cause we'll be fine now… as long as I don't bring it up… if I do… she say things like may we should be apart if I don't trust her or threaten not to talk to me if I bring it up
She ignores me basically. We lost our apartment and when she left, she took the kids and my car. I just moved back to South Carolina and started working there.
But we haven't had sex in a month. She said she is not in the mood because of the situation we are in.
We will be fine for a week or two, then she'll go run behind people who only wanna talk to her because she's driving around in a 2021 Charger and kinda’ ignore me.
Then my trust issues come into play and she starts threatening to leave me again or she'll say something to damage my ego more than it already is.
I got her to take down the other Facebook page and the one she had pictures of me on but she still blocked me because I’d be starting with people on her page because someone liked or commented on her picture or post.
I'm feeling better now though. I want my wife back… the girl I married 4 years ago and got 4 kids with and been with for 12 years.”
You see. There is so much going on in that comment that points towards lack of self-respect. There are just some things that you will never have time for when you have adequate self-respect.
At least, you will be willing to let a disrespectful wife go until she figures out where her priorities lie if she is confused about that.
But I get it. It’s easier said than done.
Nonetheless, you have to understand that your wife is only capable of mimicking and matching the level of respect you have for yourself.
We are speaking from experience.
We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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CHAPTER 5 The System - I have to go back to 1997 to make this make sense. It looked like I was going to be at home for a while before heading to some kind of higher education, so I decided to take a 3 months introductory course in computers.
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The first thing I learned that continues to show up for the next 25 years for me… What was it? It was input, CPU (central processing unit) and output; the three basic parts of a personal computer. Since then there have been multiple versions of that.
But what it did was allow me to understand at a fundamental level what value a computer brings to our lives from a system stand point. And I continue to believe in every aspect of life that the best part about humans is the ability to build systems that work even when we can’t.
A system is a set of parts or principles that work together to create a desired outcome. The outcome can actually be a part of the system or a recursive input into the system to create an even better outcome or output.
And Like I said, the first thing I learn about computers is its 3 basic parts namely input devices such as the keyboard, the CPU which contains the memory for storage and processes information coming through the input devices and lastly, the output devices such as the monitor to see visuals of the work being performed by the computer or to store information on external storage.
The external storage device that was popular back in 1997 was a floppy disk. While you can use it to store information digitally as an output from the CPU, it is often inserted back as input into the CPU for additional, better and improved output.
In this chapter, we are going to explore the concept of systems and how it applies at micro and macro levels when it comes to digital marketing.
But in the previous chapter, we talked about “The Connection” in so many dimensions. We talked about frame of reference. It’s a concept that we will revisit again because this whole thing is about the customer journey. And your ability to take them on an experience is a big determining factor in the level of success that you are able to create.
As I said in the last chapter, many businesses go back and forth between futuristic marketing and old school media that doesn’t work anymore such as newspapers and yellow books ads. Remember, this is about “The Persons”, the people and catering to your identified audience.
95% of businesses are already going to fail within their first five years. Feel free to attribute that terrible result to a lack of connection between “The Value” and “The Persons”. It just makes sense right?
We covered the idea of pre-framing the mind of your prospect so that the natural order of action is to create an order; buy your offer. Hopefully now, you understand that people need to “feel” like they know, like and trust you as part of the pre-framing. And getting people to convert to customers, clients, deals and partners start to feel almost effortless.
Very importantly, we covered a tool that helps us create a spider web of these agents and connections all over the world wide web. Do you recall the content management system? The CMS right? My favorite CMS, Wordpress, controls 40% of the CMS market share.
That is a good thing because of the ever evolving nature of everything digital. So like typical software, there are constant and seamless updates of bells and whistles to make your customers’ experiences super-cutting edge. In this era, you as a business owner or digital marketer cannot afford to operate on stale systems.
With that being said, let’s get into systems when it comes to digital marketing and digital based businesses. You guessed it right. It starts with an input.
In 2009, I got introduced to the world of multilevel marketing and direct sales. The truth is that it wasn’t just about finding customers. In fact, the majority of the income came from building a team. Being a self-motivated person that I’ve always been, I got to work right away, and I recruited my brother into my downline.
The idea behind the business model leverages people's immediate circle of influence to first… sell the business opportunity to and then second, sell them products if they are not interested in building the business.
My brother figured out quickly that the main input into the business model was people. The owners of these multilevel marketing businesses such as Amway, Herbalife, TransAmerica, Primerica etc. simply need people.
But there is a problem. Sure, we can probably go through the contacts of our smart phones and find 100 people. The issue is that we usually haven’t connected with these people in a long time. So even though they are people, they are not necessarily suitable inputs for the business model. Hence many of the reps get frustrated until they quit the business.
Also, we are talking about a business model that requires face-to-face sales skills. While a lot of the leaders and trainers in that industry continue to tell their teammates that sales is not involved, nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is that money is expected to exchange hands with an opportunity; a business opportunity or at least a product.
So even the second part of this business system is flawed with mostly non-capable business owners and processes that aren't updated for the digital era. No arguments. If it’s working for you, keep doing what you are doing because it works right?
In the last few years, many multi level marketers have transferred the same not-so-professional strategies to social media. All they do is pitch every one by “throwing everything at the wall and hoping that something sticks.”
Most other types of businesses make the same mistake; not identifying a suitable input necessary with well thought out processes and systems that can operate even when humans are not involved. So if the main person gets sick or encounters an emergency, operations will shut down immediately; just an over-glorified and undercompensated after 9-5 job.
If your marketing needs your attention constantly in order to continue filling the pipeline, it cannot be working competitively in these times. Back in the days, the only call-to-action on commercials was the phone number which meant someone had to pick up the phone on the other end. If they don’t pick up, you’ve lost money.
When that happens enough time, it can take your business out effectively becoming the 95% in 5 years failure stat member. Since then, marketing has evolved to not involve the need of humans to receive these messages.
Back in 1998, there were the famous 900 numbers all over television commercials. Not only did these numbers actually charge the callers a fee that shares royalties with the business on the other end, the phone was also picked up by automated answering machines.
So the more your marketing involves humans, the higher the cost of marketing will be because of the cost of human resources and time. Systems can still involve human time but the idea is to minimize that particular variable in your marketing therefore reducing or offsetting marketing cost dramatically.
The same way we have inputs, central processing units (CPU) and outputs as the three basic parts of a personal computer, your marketing operation must identify the inputs, processes and outputs. A business can no longer just be a business; it must be a business “system”. And that means, you are able to take a walk without a risk of the business shutting down.
There are multi-layers of systems in any given business and one of them is obviously the marketing system. To further break this down, I want to borrow some ideas for what I learned in Project Management Professional (PMP®). Surprise… surprise… They use similar concepts to break down projects.
Projects have multiple processes which are subsets of systems. Each process has its own inputs, tools and techniques (TT) and outputs. For short, you might encounter ITTO if you are into project management. The reality is that each campaign is like a project especially if it has an end date or predetermined and desired end results.
Back in the days, you might just worry about the input and the output as a business owner while the process in-between them is handled by a marketing agency. But in this digital era, any individual with a Facebook or Google account has access to millions of target audience.
In many ways, marketing agencies are still very useful. In fact, you can inquire more at www.myEmpirePRO.com.services about our marketing agency services. But the point is that the business owners are much more involved in the middle component of a marketing system; the processes, at least at a consulting and services level.
We will get into more detail of the different components of a marketing system and campaign throughout the rest of this book. My focus right now is just to highlight the importance of executing the marketing campaign of a business, product or service like a system.
What it does is that it removes guess-work and allows you to replicate more of what’s working and delete whatever is not working. You will be able to scale your business without and simultaneously eliminate human error in that process.
There are two metrics that we will elaborate on later namely; ACV and LCV. They stand for Average Customer Value and Lifetime Customer Value respectively. These are the KPI (Key Performance Indicators) that allow you to test offers in different types of ways.
Do you know the average or lifetime customer value of your business? If you do not know this number, you can’t scale the business because it’s directly an indication that you don’t even know your business.
It’s very simple. Over a period of time, divide your total revenue by the number of customers; the product is your average customer value. Lifetime is simply the same number over the lifetime of your business.
When you don’t have systems that systemically make offers in a particular sequence based on a customer journey into and through your offers, you can’t properly measure these numbers. And the last thing you want to try is to manually measure and calculate these important numbers. You will lose track.
Here are some examples of systems that allow you to measure your ACV and LCV so that you can know when and how much to invest in marketing campaigns.
Funded Proposal - Anytime you have an offer, product or service for the marketplace, think of it as a proposal. You are proposing a solution where the buyer has the agency to decide to buy or not.
An average business does not have a choice of entering a profitable zone until 5 years after launch. But what if you can create and position offers that will fund your marketing campaigns upfront?
I am not talking about your main offer or core product. When you implement a funded proposal in your business, all the sales of your core product becomes pure profit. There is a self-liquidating or tripwire offer that funds your marketing campaigns and most especially, customer list-building. Once you have these customers in your funnel, it’s easier to sell your main core product to them.
Hopefully, you have the skills to orchestrate a sequence of offers that naturally ascends your customers through your sales funnel.
Sales Funnels - What is a sales funnel? Simply put, it’s the journey that you have designed for your customers to go from discovering your business to sales conversion. More often than none, one sale conversion is not enough to make your business profitable.
Like I said earlier, if your business falls within the range of an average business, you won’t be in profit for 5 years or never. By designing a sales funnel that ensures profit upfront and funding your marketing campaign as soon as possible, your business will legally print money.
If you are able to make $1.10 every time you spend a dollar in any given year, you are effectively printing money. How would you like it if you are able to spend $22,787.30 and generate a revenue of 49,059.80 all in less than 3 years. That’s a 60+% return on investment (ROi).
All of that happened and even more so during the covid pandemic. It dramatically recession-proofs your business. By the way, that’s a true story and you can replicate that result especially when you understand the power of upsell funnels.
Upsell Funnels - Have you ever been asked “would you want fries with that?” after buying something off McDonald’s basic entry menu? (It’s no longer called the dollar menu right? Thanks to inflation).
What about “would you like 2 apple pies for $1.99?” That is a real example of an upsell offer. With digital marketing, you can create and position offers after a first offer purchase (the tripwire offer) has been initiated.
In addition to that, you can offer a downsell to customers that says no to an offer if the reason for declining is likely cost. For example, you made an offer of $4,997 inside an upsell sales funnel, and your customer clicks “no thanks”.
As soon as they click on that, they can be redirected to an offer with a little less feature at the price of $2,497. Sometimes, you can also offer a payment plan. By doing this, you can secure a sale and additional revenue that would otherwise not have happened if you are presenting to total strangers.
Check out this web-based sales funnel and list-building system if you want a free trial of marketing automation with your digital marketing efforts. Keep in mind that we are talking about systems.
www.myEmpirePRO.com/salesfunnel
Inside of the system are processes such as email marketing, autoresponders, audience segmentation, customer engagement, audience growth, and more to boost your online sales.
Typically, digital marketers use multiple tools to execute all these different techniques. In fact, there are more than enough techniques and if you are not careful, that’s a negative thing. It can be hard to stay focused.
Once you get the ball rolling and you fully understand this as a system, one tool can execute everything. Sometimes, you might have different aspects of your business with their own sales processes. But ideally, it’s better to keep all your processes in one system especially if you are new to digital marketing.
The shiny ball syndrome is real and distractions are extremely costly. I know because I am speaking from experience. There are many different types of systems implementable for digital marketing. But the best ones for what should be obvious to you after the next chapter starts with list building; audience growth.
If you have to spend money for every unit of discovery, your business will likely go broke. The reason why all the best businesses you know today create smartphone apps to engage you and offer rewards is to build and engage their audience on a regular basis. The idea is to create and boost for more sales.
So in the next chapter, we are going to dive into list building. Have you ever heard the saying “the money is in ‘the list’?” I’ve heard some people try to dumb this down but they are also usually trying to sell something else. List building as the front end of your sales funnel system is undefeatable and we will be talking about it.
What is a system without at least an input? Useless right? The sales funnel as a system is a beautiful beast but without making sure that you are feeding the beast, it’s all pointless. In addition to that, we will be talking about quality vs quantity. We will also talk about all the different forms of list-building and how it has evolved right before my very own eyes since 2009.
There have been many moments over the years when I derailed from this ideology. Yes I agree. It’s still an ideology but yielding away from it has cost me millions in losses. Don’t make the same mistake.
There is a space from a mindset standpoint that it might seem like you can get quicker results starting your sales funnel system with asking for money from strangers. Remember people need to feel like they know, like and trust you.
Do you remember the KLT factor and brand equity? How much more when you are able to fund your marketing campaigns simultaneously on the front end?
And what if the output of your sales funnel system are customers who can’t wait to buy more from you? Then your output becomes a recursive input for your system making it faster to scale your business. They can also buy from partners though you.
We are enjoying having this conversation with you in the comment area. Leave a question in the comment and we will address it. If it’s more comfortable, you can also send us an email to questions@LOLAandOLA.com
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In this video, we are adding some context to an answer we gave to Queen some few weeks back. Be sure to check out that video.
It’s called “Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips!” It was also a response to an original video called “Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation 💔”
Here is her response to that video.
“"Thank you Lola and Ola. I am grateful for you guys. You have opened a new perspective to me. I believe I should work on myself now moving forward. The period of sorrow and grief is coming to an end.
About the question if I am a selfish person, the answer is no. I have always given people my time, love and affection. I’d rather love others first.
I don’t know how to only focus on me. It’s not healthy. I’d rather give to those who need me. I never put myself first but look for the good of those around me.
Hence I helped hubby become who he is today. Now that he’s left I don’t understand what I did wrong to be honest.
We spoke a few days ago and he wanted to know what I have been up to. I don’t know why he suddenly is interested to know about my whereabouts but he will not disclose what he’s doing or how he feels. Which I find strange that he’s obsessed with knowing what I am about.
I think I need to be more attractive and work on myself more like you mentioned. I will revive my passions and allow time to heal like they say.
For now I will focus on what makes me happy and keep me focused. I believe he’s still my husband. I am also going to download your free book now." ~ Queen
So here we go. To add some context to Queen’s comment, we have created 5 keys to rekindling attraction from a seduction standpoint during a separation.
Let’s get into it.
As always, this is easier said than done. But it’s a simple concept. What makes it complex is the complex human mind.
When you experience rejection at any level, it breeds obsession and anxiety.
But when you are able to garner some self-control and back off just a little bit, you can successfully transfer that obsession and anxiety to the other party.
It also depends on how much damage may have occurred during the break down of the relationship.
If your separated spouse is not the exception minority with no emotional blood flowing in their vein, this works 100% of the time.
So it’s pretty normal for the obsession to flip to the other side when you take time to back off and allow nature to take its course.
If your partner needs space, things are bad already and you probably need more space than you realize.
So, I want you to allow the obsession and the anxiety to flip from you to your partner naturally and organically. There are gurus out there teaching people to fake it.
You can’t afford to fake this stuff because that would be a lie and that would typically mean you have to keep lying to cover up lies. It’s not worth it because it’s too much energy trying to keep up with it.
It needs to be organic and this awareness right here will make it a little hard.
But the way to mitigate that is to really take this rare advantage of time apart to build yourself in every way you can think of; physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Leave very little room to sit around and allow your mind to wander around about things you can’t control such as sorrow and grief.
If you can do it, that’s obviously time spent away from obsessing over your estranged partner and that much time for them to start wondering about what you are up to.
That’s literally a form of attraction.
It’s organic and natural and proof that you can potentially rekindle attraction in a healthy way so that you can embrace it when you are ready.
As “Queen” just acknowledged, you can’t afford to pour love into others from an empty cup; it will only drain your energy.
Yes we advocate for focusing on “giving” in a healthy relationship and not the falsehood of the “give and take” ideology that a bunch of selfish people are running around with on social media.
But please, do not take us out of context. You simply cannot give what you don’t already have.
We get this question all the time… “You are telling us to just GIVE but what if we are giving so much that the other person is not reciprocating?”
Good question.
But there is no better way to tell me that you are not giving anything to yourself. You are emptying out yourself to your partner.
That’s the only way you can have time to notice that they don’t reciprocate but you are not necessarily wrong; just a thought to consider.
And worse, you are setting them up with false metrics of expectations that are based purely on your disappointed emotions.
You can’t win together like that. You might win alone and effectively destroy the relationship. But let’s be guided.
When you can demonstrate the ability to take care of yourself, there is almost nothing sexier than that when it comes to rekindling attraction again.
And of course, they naturally can’t wait to get on your good side.
Once you’ve managed to organically flip that obsession and anxiety over to the other side, do not prematurely engage.
Sure it’s attractive but it needs to be tested with time and persistence which must be demonstrated on all sides.
Don’t play games with this if you haven’t gone through an outright rejection from your spouse. That will make it fake, manipulative and it can backfire badly.
But in the case of what “Queen” described, she needs to disconnect as much as possible from wondering what she did wrong and why he is suddenly obsessed.
The bottom line is that he is obsessed because that’s attraction at play but more importantly, how she responds to it needs to showcase indifference.
What that means is that how you feel is neither here nor there. You are okay with whatever the outcome is and you will take your time because you are busy learning how to take care of yourself.
It might drive one or both of you wild.
But the attraction needs to be tested for strength because there is a real reason why a separation became reality in the first place.
It doesn’t matter if you are “the man” or “the woman”. The same attraction principle is applicable if you are feeling the emotions of rejection.
You can re-engage your seduction power and redirect the course.
What if you lost your partner forever? Yea. What if? If you can’t handle that reality in your mind right now, it’s probably showing as needy behavior on the surface.
That’s not sexy.
It’s like no wonder they are running away from that.
The moment they can see that you are capable of loving yourself adequately, they will always regret a decision of not working on your relationship.
That self-love will attract a better companionship to you with or without your spouse; it’s non-negotiable.
And again, we are not talking to selfish people. Self-love as a religious talking point and ideology can also destroy you and everything you care about.
We are speaking from experience.
We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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CHAPTER 4 The Connection - So there are two types of connections I would like to share with you. The first type of connection is how you digitally connect the value we identified in chapter 3 with the person(s) we identified in chapter 2. And the second type of connection we will discuss is how to mentally connect your brand with the person(s).
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Let’s take it backwards a little bit. In the previous chapter, we talked about value. You learned how 85-90% of actions and acquisitions are initiated and triggered as emotional reactions; some justify with logic later.
We also reviewed a little about the motivation theories and how your competitors are probably selling products that have only 10% of the value you offer at 10 times of your prices. And they are selling them almost effortlessly to people that may not be able to afford it ordinarily.
We reminded ourselves of the six basic human needs, certainty, variety, significance, contribution, growth, and connection. And we discussed how you can use it to almost seem like you are creating value out of thin air.
When your message or “the value” covers just three of these six needs, it will simply come off as stupid for your person(s) to pass on your offer.
Every website, webpage, video, image, blogpost on your hubs need to be exchanging value with the users. A part of value is the user experience. How they feel as they travel that journey from discovery to conversion is your responsibility precisely because it’s ultimately valuable to you and the business you are building.
What you are offering may be the best in the market but we may never find out if whatever that is doesn’t translate to what is valuable to your users. It’s not just the product; it’s everything, even at the most micro-levels, that they will encounter in the process of interacting with your business; the experience.
So we now have to expand a little bit on value creation to create and establish strong connections digitally and mentally with your person(s). How do you show up in their dreams at night and stress the sh*t out of their sleep if they don’t buy?
1995-1996… Owo. Ondo State, Nigeria, West Africa. I was a 15 or 16 years old teenager. I would go visit my father in the office during the day where he was serving as a General Manager at his Uncle’s company.
I had been going to the office for a few years during holidays but I did it more after graduating high school. I didn’t go to University right away because we had opted for me to come back to the United States after 12 of my developing years in Nigeria.
I was at home for two years filling the gap of time; just waiting to secure accommodation in the States. My father had wanted me to study Architecture; that was his dream.
But one day during another visit to his office, I found out becoming an architect wasn’t my dream. It was the first time a website was opened in front of me on a 3 piece-suite equipment; a personal computer. The secretary at the office was testing it out and he would try numerous times to connect to the internet.
Thinking about it now, it was a painful process.. But not really because the frame of reference did not involve a broadband connection as we know it today.
It was exciting that he literally pulled up Toyota’s website that never could load a full Toyota logo; the connection was too slow. There was a blue placeholder but it was fascinating enough at the time. I’ve never left computing since then.
During that short break between high school and coming back to continue schooling and life in the States, I went over to the next biggest city, Akure, where I spent three months and became certified in Database Management.
I shared this story with you to establish a connection between you and the fact that the internet has grown from about 40 millions users in 1995 to more than 5 billion users at press time. If there are internet users increasing at that pace, that means that there are producers consistently connecting them to value increasingly and making stupid amount of money doing it.
Most websites back in 1995 were designed to provide information and not initiate transactions. But it's a different story today. You can now buy a whole car on the internet and have it delivered to your home.
Therefore it’s no longer enough to show a logo, and the company’s mission statement. Many businesses still have websites that can’t exchange money for product and services. A lot of them felt the heat and disadvantage of that in 2020 when covid hit our world.
My business doubled in that particular year because I was positioned to serve that market right from home. Sadly, many established businesses went under for not paying attention in all these years.
You have created the right offer. And you have done the market research, identified the right audience, the gurus and the brands they are presently following.
In fact, you are already paying time and money to attract them as visitors to your website. But the traffic is not converting to sales quickly enough for you. And you figured, it’s probably because you are just not getting enough traffic to the website.
So you have to come up with more funds to buy marketing and advertising in the hopes that enough prospects will convert to customers. Soon enough, you discovered that you are just multiplying your problems with money you don’t have and garnering more debt.
It’s not working. You quit and ran back to giving away free money to the agencies that still want to sell you newspaper and yellow book ads. Do yellow books still exist?
It is important to pre-design and pre-determine how you want to connect your value (the offer) to the person(s) based on what type of pre-framing the person(s) (the prospect) had been exposed to.
When your prospects know, like and trust you, they will buy without too much effort from you. Forget about that; when they feel like they know, like and trust you, they will buy even more from you. All of that is emotionally and mentally triggered if you know what you are doing.
I call it the KLT factor. Does the prospect feel like he or she knows, likes and trusts you? If you can’t answer that question, you are probably going to struggle with converting prospects to customers, clients and deals.
We use a formula called the “I.L.S.D.T.R.R” to build your KLT factor (a.k.a brand equity) in the digital space. The acronym stands for invest, learn, share, do, teach, refine and repeat. Let’s break it down.
The idea is to build digital agents and leave thousands of your footprints everywhere in the digital space without burning your resources up while doing it. If you follow me on social media, you can see us practicing what we preach with literally thousands of videos and articles everywhere.
This is it. I want you to INVEST time and possibly money in LEARNING, then SHARING what you are learning as often as possible via online videos, blogposts, infographic and more. After that, you actually want to DO (execute on) what you are learning in order to create experience or tacit knowledge.
If your business module permits it, you can build your business even faster by taking the sharing to the next level which is actually TEACHING from your knowledge and experience for a fee or more KLT factor and brand equity.
Then I want you to refine and repeat that process over and over again in order to create a massive web of nodes that link back to your hub. When you do this, you will build a massive brand equity that makes it super simple to connect your value to your person(s).
All these digital agents that you are creating will work for you forever. You couldn’t erase them off the internet if you try to after a while. And that is a good thing.
This is what I meant earlier when I mentioned pre-framing the prospects ahead of actually presenting them with an offer. The connection doesn’t start at the sales presentation. It starts before they even discover there is something to buy from you.
How cool would it be if your prospects are already asking you where to sign up before knowing if you have anything to sell or not. That’s the outcome of orchestrating a strong connection of value with your audience upfront.
By positioning yourself and your brand to help your audience by actually helping them, their minds are pre-framed to recognize your brand and business as their problem solver.
Sure, a properly scripted sales presentation is still necessary because some of them may have skipped to that part in your customer journey. But most of your time, energy and resource is best spent steering new prospects through a discovery point where you are actually helping them first before asking them to pay for something.
They usually start off with a question to answer or a problem to solve. Most people appreciate some useful information first before attempting to sell them on buying stuff.
In fact, there is a sector of your market that price point is really not a determining factor in their decision making process to buy.
It boils down to the KLT factor and brand equity. They need to feel like they know, like and trust you. And then they will pull out a credit card if anything remotely looks like their problem is solved.
The return on investment in learning, sharing, doing, teaching, refining and repeating is literally infinite especially if you add consistency to it.
In the world of digital marketing, we call this content creation. The idea is to come up with topic ideas that will appeal directly to your ideal customers’ needs. So I want to share four idea sources that will help you generate more than enough ideas to invest time and possibly money in learning more about so you can share.
Idea Source Number 1 - Write down 10 commonly or frequently asked questions that your ideal customers tend to ask. If this is a business that you are qualified to serve in, it should be pretty simple.
Let me give you a quick secret. You could be learning the business at the same time, in real time and using these same content creation skills to attract a significant size of the market. When you teach, you literally learn twice.
Most people in any business end up complacent and never learning anything new for years. But when you use this method to create thousands of connections and digital agents for prospects before getting to see your offer, you will remain at the top of your game.
Idea Source Number 2 - For this one, come up with and write down 10 questions you would advise an ideal prospect to ask your competitors. Of course, you want to make sure these are questions and problems that your content and products have answered and solved.
Idea Source Number 3 - Identify 10 common problems that your ideal prospect faces. It doesn’t have to directly be linked to the problems that your product solves.
But I want you to do it because the information you will provide in the content will actually serve an audience. But in addition to that, you may end up creating a tangible and usable solution if the piece of content is attracting a big enough audience.
Last but not least…
Idea Source Number 4 - Invest time to learn about 10 common mistakes that an ideal prospect would or could make and share each one as a piece of content. In addition to that, share tips on how to avoid the mistakes.
I’ve used this same method of connection to build my business and the good thing about it; you can verify. At press time, about 840 myEmpirePRO web pages are resulting and indexed on the Google Search Engine Results Page. (THE SERP).
And on another web property that I am building with my wife, LOLAandOLA.com, about 1,370 web pages of content are resulting and indexed. I am not even talking about other search engines such as Yahoo, Bing and many others that thrive off of picking up your content and connecting them with potential prospects all around the world for free.
65.78% of our audience at myEmpirePRO in the last 28 days from presstime are coming from the United States. 13.46% are coming from China. 3.77% are coming from Canada. The audience or traffic were connected from 48 different countries.
The beauty about digital marketing is the fact that you are also collecting tons of data with the various default activities of setting up and running these campaigns. That’s why I am able to share these results with you. In fact, you can check it yourself.
All you have to do is place this string ‘site:’ before any site with no spaces between them and search. For example, a simple search of ‘site:myempirepro.com’ will show the top of the SERP (search engine results page) and it will show you how many pages have been indexed from the site.
What about YouTube? We’ve published 1,304 videos and they are all working in our favor to connect more prospects to our hub. All these digital agents are not built overnight and they don’t need to be built overnight.
In fact, all it takes is one good piece of content to create a $10,000 day. But that also depends on what you are selling and your business model. You just never know what answered-question would resonate with someone’s deep pain. The more you put out there, the better.
In order to execute a massive connection, KLT and brand equity campaign, you have to create a main online hub where everyone comes to from all these different sources you will be putting out there. The main hub is a content management system and I recommend good ol’ Wordpress.
On the internet today, we have websites designed to simply display information like the Toyota website from 1995 in that story I shared with you earlier. But we also have websites designed to manage databases of content, users, and users’ information. We call them a content management system (CMS).
You have two options. You can build and code your CMS with all the bells and whistles that makes it a robust system to create millions of dollars in online transactions from scratch. The second option is what I recommend which involves leveraging existing tools and systems that allow you to customize with add-ons to perform even better than systems that are built from scratch.
Which option do you think you should go with? Okay. That wasn’t a trick question. It’s a simple question and it has a simple answer which is to leverage tools and systems so that you can get to making money as soon as possible.
At press time, Wordpress powers a little more than 40% of the websites online and their content management system. I recommend it because it works just like the iPhone and the Android phones. It’s an open source that allows vendors to continue to code additional features many of which you can leverage for free.
That’s why I recommend Wordpress in addition to the fact that I personally use it to manage my content marketing campaign. But there are also two different kinds of Wordpress websites.
You will understand fully later many reasons why it is better to go with option number 2 in addition to the fact that you are able to control how you are branded online.
Brand control is non-negotiable as we move into the future because competition is increasing. With a brand you create, you will eliminate a significant number of your competition because of brand loyalty; the same effect that Apple has on its customers. I recommend that you set up your self-hosted Wordpress hub with the company at this link for less than $10 per month. - myEmpirePRO.com/hosting
All of these you’ve learned thus far without setting them up as a system is just another job that will occupy your life with redundant activities and minimum wages. So in the next chapter, we will talk about changing these new insights into an automated system that takes your prospects on a journey from discovery to conversion and a happy customer.
By now, you are understanding slowly that setting up a website is just the bare minimum of digital marketing. Most websites on the internet are a ghost land. No one is visiting them much less initiating a transaction.
So there is a distinct difference between a digital marketer and a website designer or developer. The former is a minimum of a 6 figure career as a job and a 7-9 figure income when you use this skill as an entrepreneur. The latter is darn near a minimum wage job.
With systems, you can scale a campaign beyond what’s possible when all you’ve got are linear operations involving humans at every segment. You will learn about different segments in a customer’s life cycle and how systems can scale from 10 customers to 100 and to 1,000 customers being served simultaneously.
The last thing I want you to do is know all this cool stuff only to get stuck behind a laptop for 16 hours a day. While I definitely want you to understand the concepts that make this work, I will be sharing with you how to set, forget and collect on a regular basis leveraging the concept of systems..
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In this video, we are responding to 2 comments with the 5 signs that a marriage is over based on how a man responds to a crisis.
Here is the first comment.
“My wife has been gone for a few months. 10 years together and she’s just pulled the plug on all emotions she had for me. She talks and looks at me differently now. She never sees our one year old son. Wtf has happened. God I miss her 😢” ~ by Slaven Yatic
And here is the 2nd comment.
"Truth is she doesn’t. Folks, separation is not a good thing period. 5% of separation works and they end up back together but 80% of separation ends up in a divorce. If your partner wants a separation it means they have someone else in mind." ~ Comment by Triple A Triple a
So here we go.
Believe it or not; most men that go through this type of trauma always feel that the woman just changed overnight. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Some call it “the walk away wife syndrome.” It’s basically unhappy wives who leave their husbands… emphasis on “UNHAPPY”.
There is not one single event that can destroy your marriage. And if you can’t comprehend that, comprehend this.
Not realizing that damages never happen overnight is a sign that your marriage is over and potentially forever. In fact, your marriage ended a long time ago.
So clearly, it’s even worse that you haven’t been able to pay enough attention to detect this for potentially so long.
She didn’t just pull the plug on emotions she had for you. Rather, she had been disconnected from you emotionally long before you realized.
Maybe she was trying to protect your feelings and then finally realized that it is a non-sustainable effort. Many women try this and it always fails eventually.
Naturally, a separation from family, wife or husband will create trauma for your children and that’s simply part of life.
But let’s be honest, overreacting to this is obviously an indication that… you have probably overreacted to many other events in the past.
The default is that your children will get dragged through the mud that you and your ex-partner-to-be have created. It’s just the reality.
And if you have a hard time facing reality, it is little-to-no-wonder that you will attempt to use your children’s trauma to manipulate the direction of things. Is that what you mean by “She never sees our one year old son?”
That, precisely, is a sign that your marriage is over. It doesn’t have to be over, if you are willing to indulge in the possibility of a new understanding.
Your focus needs to go into working on the evaporated attraction in your romantic relationship because it is the root cause. It is your only point of leverage and there are any further chances.
If you think separation is bad, your marriage is probably over. Saying that is just another manipulative measure to get a person who doesn’t want you to stay with you.
There is no better way to tell me that you are negotiating “desire”. It doesn't work. In fact, it will work against your marriage.
In addition, pushing against separation is not a way to save your marriage. If at least one of the parties is asking for separation, that marriage is over anyway.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new foundation from scratch with or without the same person.
As long as you are obsessed with the idea of sustaining the present terrible state of your marriage, how can you build another foundation?
Remember the emphasis on “happy”? How can you create happiness in a marriage where one person is not happy?
I know what you are thinking. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness? You are half-wrong because how we feel is a function of our environment.
So as long as you are a part of your spouses’ environment, you are a factor. You are part of the variables that determine her emotional state.
But also vice versa.
Do wives ever come back after separation? The answer is “YES”. But how likely is that to happen to you?
Your marriage is over if you project improperly interpreted stats and data on your relationship as facts. Your wife will not come back after separation.
So even if we have to take “Triple A Triple a”’s comment, which is the fact that only 5% of separation works, I guarantee that your personal case will be in the 80% that end up in divorce if you project the “stat” on your relationship.
It’s simple. In the human experience, what you focus on expands. That principle is undefeated just like the fact that she wants separation.
Data and stat are mostly useful in a class and scholar activities.
If you are personally going through a crisis in your relationship, focus on learning what it takes to create attraction in your particular situation.
You can’t do that trying to smother a person who wants to leave with numbers and stats.
In fact, it’s true that many women are right now trying to figure out how to leave their husbands for a different life all together; not just someone else.
She wants to leave. The attempt to make yourself feel better by accusing her of having someone else in mind is just another useless effort to save the marriage.
Let’s be honest. You will only feel worse even if it isn’t true. Also, you are spreading unnecessary toxic energy.
But again, I know what you are thinking.
What if it’s true that she has someone else?
Let me ask you the same question. What if?
Is that a good excuse to drag yourself further through the mud? Is that a reality you can’t deal with without throwing your whole life away?
If the answer is yes, have you considered it… as a good reason to obsessively smother the relationship to death?
We are speaking from experience.
We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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Quick story. So my husband was on Aunty B’s platform, Obodo Oyinbo TV, in the past few days oh my God… he ended up becoming an overnight detective.
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A man had called him before he called into a show making wild claims about women in Nigeria and as usual, it was obvious to him that this man was speaking from personal experience.
The truth is that we have both men and women who perpetuate this terrible behavior once they have had traumatic experiences in marriage or relationships.
And nothing good comes out of it.
So we want to share 5 "do's & don'ts" if you happen to be in a separation from your marriage at this moment.
We know you will be tempted to destroy your future relationship if you don’t know these things so please, pay attention.
After about 30,000 views, what I always knew was confirmed. He was projecting from his personal experiences.
He is presently separated from his wife who he had met in Nigeria while visiting. So the wife had recently asked for divorce.
So he decided he wanted to help others who may be captured by the evil women who are poor and live in Nigeria; according to him.
After getting dragged on that platform so many times, there was one thing that really stood out to me and this is it.
He was obsessed with who was at fault for the demise of the marriage. Not just that, we are talking about a need to spell out every fault at every stop since he met the lady.
If you are in separation and you want the outcome of the process to be positive, you have two choices.
Decide that no one is at fault or…
The 2nd choice, which is “both of you are at fault”; unless of course, someone had a gun to their head during the decision to engage in a romantic way.
So we get it. You’ve just gone through a very traumatic situation and experience. Your experience is valid but you need to believe that.
Naturally, if you consider yourself “nice” or “good”, you might want to jump out there and save everyone else from people like your ex-partner who is now a bad person I guess…
Don’t do it. You will end up re-creating your own version of your experience in others and they will effectively project it further into our society…
…when it is in-fact, not necessarily their experience.
It’s a fact that your ex-partner had their own experience. This is why those who don’t know any better end up calling each other liars; making things worse.
Stay away from trying to help others until you make sure you’ve gone through healing.
And have peace with the idea that it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault.
Generally speaking, letting go is one of the hardest things for humans to do. People would yell out things like “I don’t care” with such anger.
You would be left to wonder…”Do you believe that you don’t care or you need to convince yourself even more?”
It’s confusing at best. Sure you should be able to tell your story. But you should only do it within a controlled context and environment.
Letting go, self control and awareness is key but hard. Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?
There is a good chance you are not able to smell your own breath. You can barely see your own nose. Maybe if you calm down, you can at least see a blurry version of it.
The point I am making is this. Separation from a marriage is tough on a human heart. Take some time off and engage wise counsel.
We all have a blind spot by default. So how much more when everything you believed when it comes to romance is being questioned.
Let me ask that question I asked previously again. Have you noticed that you enjoy talking so much about your ex-partner particularly in a bad light?
Or maybe this time, you’ve managed to camouflage it as a generalized story that you have become an evangelist for.
You find yourself saying things like “American women are not good wives.” You’ve perfected the art of saying “All Nigerian men are cheaters.”
I’m just gonna be straight up with you. There is no better way to tell us that you need counseling and possibly therapy than showcasing a habit of generalizing.
It’s a red flag. You shouldn’t be advising or trying to save anyone.
It’s projection at best. There is no way that you know enough people to be capable of generalizing in the name of helping someone.
You will end up making more people toxic than you help if at all..
We are speaking from experience. We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.
It means a lot of different things to people depending on where they are standing. But in this chapter, my goal is to first make sure we are standing in the same position before extracting the actual value I want to share with you.
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You are reading this book because you are trying to build a business or organization of some sort right? If that’s the case, keep reading.
In the last chapter, we talked about “the person(s)” as one of the pillars we must clearly identify before trying to set up marketing campaigns in the digital era. A failure to do this will simply defeat the purpose; which I am hoping is partly the benefits of tracking down every penny and making sure it doubles itself.
You also learned how my 500 and change in credit score saved me from early life bankruptcy. Personally, I’ve had some ups and downs naturally in the type of risky and non-conventional journey I chose to embark on; becoming an entrepreneur. But it’s never gotten so bad that I had to file for bankruptcy. Thank goodness.
More importantly, you also learned how lack of proper market research and competition analysis can result in losing your life savings and/or capital; $10 at a time. We reviewed the dangers of passion-driven biases, the greatest market research tool which is free, seed keyword and keyword phrases, the role of Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning in market research and more.
Last and definitely not all and for sure, not the least, we talked about the two different categories of your ideal customer and client and the four stages they have to travel in order to not just maximize profits for your business but to deliver value.
And speaking of value, I became dangerous and over-valued for the 9-5 world since I learned what you are about to discover in this chapter.
It was 2014 and I had been helping quite a few people I met in the internet and network marketing world make their first $100, $1,000, $200,000 and even $4 million completely online. Not just that, I did very well with my business too.
But the honest truth is that I had not fully grasped the magnitude of the value in what I had learned. On my best day ever, I was able to use written text and words to convert complete strangers into a $15,000 sales. And I did it multiple times over. Somehow, I had acquired a skill set that could collect such an amount of money in exchange for a digital product without being physically present to sell.
Before that, my best day ever was back in real estate when I closed a deal that created a net profit of $82,000.
But let’s put things into perspective right? There are a lot of things that go into the process of closing real estate deals and it wasn’t easy to say the least. I could potentially sit around for months and not close another deal.
In addition to that, a whole real estate property belonging to a person or a family is involved. It’s a big deal in terms of vested interest involved when a decision is made to buy or sell real estate in comparison to an online transaction; especially back then.
But these days, people are more comfortable with purchasing a whole car online. So it’s actually gotten a whole lot easier provided you are able to communicate the value proposition effectively.
I will forever be grateful to gentlemen; Mike Dillard and Ben Settle, for learning these skill sets from them as far back 2009/2010. I do not think they know who I am at all. But it doesn’t matter because you are about to learn the skills more than 10 years later.
Sales is hard for an average human being. Most people are only comfortable selling a resume. And to be honest, it’s because of the dependency on the credentials and the experience to do the selling for them in a non-confrontational way.
It’s actually similar to why an estimated 77% of people hate public speaking. According to many studies, people actually fear public speaking more than death. They get bombarded by panic and a paralyzing fear of guess what; rejection. I personally still hate the feelings of being rejected.
When you pay close attention to what I just said, it’s not the actual rejection. It’s the “feeling” of being rejected that paralyzes people to avoid sales, public speaking or being in any position where the ultimate desire is to be accepted. It’s fascinating to know.
So many people fantasize about the idea of a big business. But then the fear of being rejected becomes a huge huddle in their way directly or indirectly.
Even if you are a person who is naturally okay with sales, it's a challenge to build a sales team with a decent attrition rate which is the rate at which people leave your organization or team. People find it a lot easier to use a resume or CV to sell their time in exchange for less than $50 per hour than to sell even air to breathe.
You can invent the best product in the world. If you are terrible at communicating the value in it to a prospect, you won’t be able to afford its production sooner or later.
Another struggle is the inability for a lot of people to know the difference in personal values and the value in a product for prospects.
Why do people window-shop? I’ll tell you why. A prospect can want a product and not be able to afford it. Sometimes, it’s just the wrong timing. But that’s not the reason why people are not buying your product or services.
The reason why people chose not to purchase from you is because you failed to transfer enough value in a way that it’s valuable to them. It was a negative choice against added value for your business.
Value in this context is in the eyes of the user or consumer and not in the eyes of the producer. Value is absolutely not an objective truth; it’s subjective but only until you learn what I want to share with you right now.
So it’s one thing to know the benefit of your product or service, it’s completely another thing to know how to transfer the value of those benefits to the prospects in order to buy now.
I am sure you have probably learned about the differences between features and benefits before. Well, this is an additional layer to the madness. But when you master this skill set, you will become dangerously profitable as your competitors drown in debt.
Oxford dictionary calls sales the exchange of a commodity for money but it also calls it the action of selling something. But then what is selling? If you are able to transfer value to your potential customers and clients at scale using written words, what would that mean for your business?
According to INC magazine, a Harvard professor says 95% of purchasing decisions are subconscious. I personally learned a long time ago that 85% of sales are initiated emotionally and they justify with logic later.
So while you may present with all the facts and figures to back up your own version of the value that the product and services offer, you will fail 85%-95% of the time because you are selling the wrong value to the wrong side of the human mind. It’s a hard pill to swallow.
Have you ever heard the saying “Facts tell but story sells?” Storytelling is a highly profitable skill to learn and no amount of facts, data and statistics can engage the human mind like a good story. It’s not necessarily the easiest thing to do but it’s non-negotiable when we create an offer.
The key in successfully transferring the value to your prospect or dare I say, sometimes manufacturing value out of thin air in a way that is perceived by your prospect, is to tap into their real motivation to buy. I promise you. It has nothing to do with doing the “right” thing.
Why do people buy? Seriously, why do people buy into anything, ideas, ideologies, belief system, a product, a service or anything? What motivates them to buy? By now, you should get the gist. It’s not logical.
Is it because they need it, they want it, can afford it? Let’s be honest. People buy things they can’t afford all the time, right?
In fact, for every time you engage unnecessary empathy around the decision of a person not buying from you for affordability reasons, they probably just spent ten times your price on a ten times worse competitor’s product or service. So affordability is rarely even a motivator to buy a product or not.
There are many motivation theories from numerous studies and I love them all. But allow me to share a few with you and then I will share my favorite.
Maslow’s need hierarchy theory is based on people's basic five need-levels namely; survival, safety, love or belonging, self-esteem and self-actualization. I personally would add “a sense of” to each one of those because people don’t even assess those things logically. They are mostly based on feelings at an emotional level.
Also, there is Herzberg’s motivational and hygiene factors. Have you heard of McClelland's human motivation theory which states that every person has one of three main driving motivators: the needs for achievement, affiliation (sounds like belonging again), or power. These are all mindsets.
People would buy things just because of a sense of belonging even when it directly offers no tangible value to them. So when designing a marketing and sales message around your product and service, you have to be careful with your definition of value.
The key thing to always remember is that it’s in the eyes of your prospect and rarely ever about your personal belief system. While you should be absolutely confident about the value you feel your product and service offers, you need to remain aware that it’s about making that confidence contagious enough for the prospect to feel that level of confidence, pull the credit card out and buy now.
So you have managed to come up with a good product in your opinion. People are checking it out but they are not buying. In fact, you know a few of these prospects personally and you’ve deemed their excuses legitimate enough to keep looking for the right customer.
NEWSFLASH: It’s either you haven’t made an offer or you’ve got a bad offer. What is an offer and how is that different from a product?
An offer is a presentation of a product beyond just the product. Some kind of tangible or intangible element has been added to make the product compelling enough to make them buy now. In essence, a product is just a product but “buy and get one free” is an offer.
The product will always be available but there is no guarantee that the offer will be available if you do not buy right now. As for intangibles, the same can be said about “a limited time” discounted price. Again, the product or at least an indirect competition to the product will always be available but there is no guarantee there will be a discount at a later time.
But these are the obvious ones you’ve encountered at a mall before. Let’s get back to using text and words to make a prospect buy from you now and not later. It’s nothing other than your ability to communicate the value proposition with the subconscious mind.
My favorite of the motivation theories is said to have been birthed by Sigmun Freud but it was made famous by Abraham Maslow. I discovered it through Tony Robbins.
The six basic human needs are love or connection, variety, significance, certainty, growth, and contribution. If you are able to stimulate a sense of these needs at a subconscious and emotional level inside of your prospects mind, you will damn near print money on-demand.
What it looks like is to spell and trace out an emotional journey from discovery to feeling absolutely stupid for not figuring out a way to buy now. Sure there will be situations where a buyer is unable to buy. But what you want is your prospects sending messages expressing their fear of missing out on an offer.
If you can craft a message in a way that they feel left out if they don’t buy, the idea of buying is exciting, they can feel a sense of a certainty in the promised transformation into a desired state of some kind of advancement, they feel even more important, and feel like your offer will make them create a desired impact on society, then your product will have a chance of delivering the value it was intended for.
A good product or service solves a problem, answers a question or replaces pain with pleasure or relief. Stating out the features, benefits, problem, solution, question and answer is not enough.
You will create more customers and clients in your business when you spell out the pain, the desired pleasure or relief especially when you are able to qualify them from a place of feelings or emotions.
Can you use words to communicate the expected transformation? Can you imagine what the pain of the present state of your customer feels like? When you can communicate the emotional state after the transformation that your product and service has delivered, you will dominate your market.
As I told you towards the end of last chapter, your customer will travel through four main stages namely:
The transition between each one of these stages is a conversion and you are responsible to persuade your prospect through each one of these transitions and segments. In digital marketing, we use a mix of words, images, videos and creatives to compel them to advance to the next level or segment.
This is what I want you to do in order to put a seal on the secret you just discovered in this chapter. There are some copy elements I want you to start paying attention to in the various marketing messages that you encounter henceforth. I promise. You will start noticing them on all your favorite social media platforms now. You probably found this book through one of my ad creatives and copy.
For the rest of this book, we may refer to the front end discovery level marketing message as creatives. It simply means the actual visuals that you see first, be it words, images, videos, slides, etc. The idea is to get you to a space where you are absolutely intentional on how you craft the message.
Most of the social media platforms land you on a news feed as soon as you login. That space is one of the most valuable spaces on the whole internet and the platforms are very aware of that. That’s why they sell opportunities to post your messages on the news feed for a fee.
It’s the same concept of the newspaper selling ad spaces inside a newspaper and other news channels since the ancient Roman times. When you manage to get your message on these pages, you have three seconds or less to capture the attention of your ideal audience and sell them on advancing from discovery to awareness.
It’s in your best interest to learn the art and sciences of using words and text to persuade your audience to take the actions you desire on your creatives. It’s called copywriting and the elements in it are called ‘copy”.
You can also use the same skill set in presentation to capture the heart of a c-suite panelist and get them to buy your offers. In fact, this understanding will be responsible for your ability to create irresistible offers.
When your prospect resists your offers, they will lose sleep over it and will not have peace until they come back and buy your product and services. It has nothing to do with the actual product. But it has everything to do with how owning your product or using your service makes them feel.
When you see a post with a label “Sponsored” next to it, become obsessed with the “copy”. Can you see how the copywriter was able to capture your attention? What color combinations are used? What solution is being offered to solve what problem and how are they promising some kind of relief to what pain?
Go ahead and save as many sponsored feed posts as possible, review and study them like your life depends on it. They will become a swipe file of creatives to model your execution after when we get to that stage.
In the next section, we will start talking about the processes and how you can automate more than 90% of it to get more leads, customers, clients and more deals. We are going to start with the process that connects the persons as discussed in chapter 2 with the value as we have just discussed in this chapter.0
Quick story. About 7 months ago, she decided to go for trial separation but things have basically been in a limbo since then.
https://lolaandola.com/5-positive-signs-during-separation/
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At the time, she was 8 months pregnant and taking care of 2 kids at the same time with no help whatsoever from the husband.
She would complain but he would just apologize and promise to work on it; then repeat the same cycle over again.
So she got tired of the empty promises and went for the trial separation. She thinks she is seeing some changes now but not too sure if he's faking it or he's actually doing the work.
There have been times in the past that she thought things were better even up to a year ago, forgave… but now... she wouldn't even allow him to touch her.
She claims the sex was horrible because of how she felt towards him at the initiation of the trial separation.
Though she took full responsibility for her portion of the decline in the marriage, he refused to see any issues which left her with no choice but to let him figure himself out.
Hence the separation that started 7 months ago.
Now, she is feeling much better but wants to know if there are any positive signs to look out for during this separation to determine if it's working in the favor of the marriage or if it's a lost cause.
So we want to share just five signs with you to look out for to determine if a good and healthy reunion is in sight.
Sadly in these modern times, most people trying to fight for their marriage end up in big English grammatical echo chambers where all they will learn is how to diagnose their partners psychologically.
You will hear diagnoses such as narcissism, controlling, insecure etc... to the point where they don't know how to recognize normal interaction any longer.
The sad part is that people, even when they are not professionals or have any experience, will make blanket bold statements such as once a... (fill in the blank)... always a (fill in the blank.)
So it becomes extremely hard to see a simple positive sign in separation such as becoming friends again.
This one thing is priceless and you can't buy it with money. Believe it or not, you can buy a wife, a husband, a girl or boyfriend. But you can't buy a friend.
So if you are in the middle of separation and you are noticing that friendship is finding its way back, that is a strong foundation to build upon if you are willing.
Well, the whole point of separation also involves physical distance. But we are humans and distance, they say, makes the heart fonder.
This is especially true if there was some type of friendship before things went completely left. If that was the case, friends who are also lovers tend to find their way back into the same space.
Maybe not necessarily living under the same roof, but you find that you are able to share space together even if it's with other mutual friends.
That, my friend, is a great foundation to start working on your marriage together.
Many separated couples do not have that luxury and it's worth appreciating and leveraging as a positive sign during your separation.
Again... simple but powerful.
Every separation comes with some damages that can creep back as resentments and try to destroy your marriage even after reconciliation and reuniting back together.
With the right tools, you can and will sustain such forces.
You are in a team together so you ultimately have a better leverage against any outside forces if you are aware of your power as a team.
Quick story.
For us... even after creating some damage, we would end up sitting and watching TV shows together, sharing links of memes, funny and viral videos back and forth.
If you are blessed with this type of scenario, that is a positive sign during separation.
Naturally you are observing your partner.
I say that because you may be using the "no contact rule" as a tool to boost attraction but hopefully-primarily to take time to boost your self confidence and self esteem.
But naturally you are observing your partner… at least occasionally.
We are talking about your spouse here... in the middle of probably the painful experience of separation on both sides.
So you are observing if we are being honest.
In that observation, are you noticing more acceptance of the reality of the possibility of the marriage ending for good?
I know this may be counter-intuitive.
But if you are noticing this, that's what you need because it's a sign of wholesomeness on your partner's part. It means the quality of being beneficial and generally good for you.
When you are self-sustainable as individuals, you dramatically increase the chance that your marriage will be self-sustainable and not drain life out of one or both of you.
Let me ask you a question...
Can you personally and confidently survive and thrive if you have to do that without your husband?
Please answer in the comment space below.
Listen. You are humans like the rest of us here. If you mistakenly broke your own rule and have sex with your partner during separation, that's could be a positive sign.
Sex can also be a negative sign. You may just be addicted to a terrible sex-based relationship.
If you are D or P whipped, when you clearly feel terrible emotionally after the session, that's a negative sign.
But if you lined up the other signs from sign number five to two that we previously shared with you, this is definitely a positive sign that you can turn into a foundation.
Speaking of foundation...
Don't attempt reconciliation or getting back together without engaging in good counsel, coaching or therapy. Healing is necessary in order to not create the same bad cycle all over again.
We are speaking from experience. We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.
Exactly who are you trying to serve leveraging digital marketing? I know you want to make more money. But where is this money coming from?
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Money comes from only one place. It doesn’t fall from the sky. We do not pluck it from a tree. It comes from other people. The money you are going to make comes from other people right?
In the previous chapter we talked about setting goals; smart goals to be precise. We also talked about why the desire to help someone is not enough to run a successful digital marketing campaign.
It definitely is not enough to “want” to be an entrepreneur. I also want to be Elon Musk within the next 24 hours. It’s highly unlikely that’s going to happen right?
So the act of “wanting something” is not enough, you will increase your chances of success when you set specific, meaningful, measurable and achievable goals.
We also talked about the differences between setting goals at micro and macro levels of the experience for your prospects, customers, clients, partners and whatever your audience is.
And I gave you actionable steps and real life examples of goal statements. That exercise was necessary because it represents the foundation of your journey in your digital marketing endeavors.
You will encounter multiple layers of variables that can turn to very complex problems that can potentially include losing serious money and worse; time and energy.
So it’s important to always reference that chapter if you ever feel lost in your business with regards to marketing and promotion in a digital age.
As a typical human being, you will get in over your head and lose focus at some point. It’s inevitable. But you can always trace your step backwards as far as to your original smart goal when necessary. I promise. It will happen.
In this chapter, we are going to talk about the person and not the people. I know I just said money comes from people. But if you don’t understand these people at a person by person level, you will miss it completely. Hence this lesson presented as a full blown chapter.
In December 2004 during my first encounter with real estate, I was so excited that I dropped a private class I was taking in mobile application development. Those were the days when you couldn’t watch long videos in the palm of your hands on the go.
We were learning coding, programming and simulating everything you know today as your smart phone in virtual environments. It was also my senior year studying Computer Engineering at New Jersey Institute of Technology (NJIT).
A friend of mine, (his real name starts with an ‘F’ but I will call him Jason)... He had informed me about a real estate home buying seminar in East Orange, New Jersey which he never showed up to. But I was sucked into real estate for life. It hit home for me.
Wow. I could just leverage mortgages to become a landlord who collects money month in and month out. So I started going on appointments to look at every house listed on the market starting with one house in Belleville… even though my credit score would have put me in a terrible position of high interest rate at the time.
The mortgage officer at the seminar had told me that my “500 and change” credit score will get me a property and I would become a landlord in a few weeks. A few weeks later, I stumbled into a late night infomercial and before I knew it, I ended up at another seminar which cost $3,000 that I didn’t have.
My friend Jason had agreed to partner up with me leveraging his credit card in exchange for paying it back in a few weeks with interest. Again, Jason did not show up but I was so excited that I could never forget that generosity as a foundation to what I am sharing with you today.
If he had shown up, I would have ended up on the wrong path which involved just any house without proper assessment. But what do I mean by assessment?
You see… Jason had agreed to partner up to buy a bunch of houses with me but not having easy access to buying by myself led me down the route of learning marketing properly. At first, it was about real estate right?
What I learned eventually is that it wasn’t about houses and real estate per se. It was more-so about finding deals and creating a profitable path starting from the beginning.
And that wasn’t the end of it. Profitable deals are sourced from real people’s stories and real life problems.
The common denominator in all of that and across multiple types of businesses is people, the endless questions they have in life and the inevitable problems they face in the pursuit of happiness. And in order to understand your market at a basic and foundational level, it’s wiser to understand “the person”.
So in the rest of this book, we may call it your market, your audience, the people, the avatar or the person. Who is the ideal person that your product, service or offer is designed for?
This person has a problem, a question or void and the value that your business brings is designed to fill that void.
The biggest mistake that the losers of digital marketing are making today is the assumption that everyone is their ideal customer. As soon as you post something on social media, you are asked to boost it with $10 in ad spend. And after spending that $10, it’s crickets.
Of course anyone can become a connection to an ideal client for your business, but it’s not wise to throw time, energy and money at everyone’s attention without proper market research and analysis. You will lose money.
There are two parts to market research and analysis which are absolutely necessary if you are going to spend your hard earned resources on digital marketing. The first part is about determining the market size. The second part is to realistically figure out how much of that market share you can cover; competition analysis.
It’s very likely that you are not the first to offer the solution that your product and services offer right? And if you are the first, that is not necessarily a smart move; you better know what you are doing.
Many times, I hear aspiring entrepreneurs proudly boast about being the first to do something. Listen. It’s most likely that you will not be Bill Gate or Elon Musk. These are historical “firsts” of tools that we all enjoy today but this kind of entrepreneurs come but once in a lifetime.
So let’s be realistic. Your product, service, offer and/or business have direct and indirect competition. That means you are not going to be able to capture 100% of the market share.
The market is going to have segments that are highly competitive and other segments with low competition. The low competition segments tend to also have a lower percentage of the market share.
But the real question is this. Is there a market? Is there a “person” who has a direct or indirect need for the solution that your business offers? If there is, how many persons can we realistically identify?
Last but not least, is there any other business or anyone else already providing a similar or indirect solution to these people’s problems?
These are the questions that must be answered before you try to set up a digital marketing campaign in order to avoid losing money or worse; time and energy.
Let’s make it clear.
When you determine the size of the market first, you are able to decide from the beginning if a market or business is worth going after or not. If you don’t, you may just be moving off your own passion-driven biases. As a human being, you naturally gravitate toward certain types of businesses for different reasons.
Maybe a friend of yours seems to be enjoying a business model and the reality is that you truly do not know the intricacies of what it takes to be in that business successfully or to look like success on the outside.
You don’t know what you do not know. Many businesses are laundromats and many people will take Peter’s money to pay Paul just to look like success on the outside. And many do that as a strategy of hope. Hope is a terrible marketing and business strategy.
So instead of operating your marketing from a place of hope down the line, you are able to assess the market size and see upfront if it’s worth going into a particular business or not.
The same is applicable at the microlevel of a business. You may be considering opening a different department. It’s going to cost you time, energy, money and other types of resources. Before engaging those resources, determine the market size and do a competition analysis.
You may identify some risk and you may just identify an opportunity bigger than what you envisaged. The benefits of doing this assessment is much more than avoiding a negative risk. It’s just a profitable habit to get into overall as an existing or aspiring entrepreneur.
To perform market research and competition analysis, there are simple, fun, free and paid tools available. But they are useless if you don’t even know what you are looking for. The most popular of them is the almighty search engine; Google.
At press time, Google is the biggest and most popular search engine that we all run to when we have a question. Dare I say, almost all research starts from Google including medical research by a medical doctor who may be getting ready to put an incision in you or your children’s body.
I know that’s scary right? But that’s the reality. I don’t know when you are reading this book and I don’t know tomorrow. Hopefully, I will continue to get the opportunity to update and offer new versions as we evolve into an ever evolving digital world.
So maybe the hottest search engine when you are reading this won’t be Google but it will always be some kind of search Engine. As humans, we are always searching, asking and creating new problems to solve. If you understand this, you will always be in business successfully.
Whatever your biggest and most popular search engine is will be your number one market research and analysis tool. Not the only one but always a great place to start from.
You can start by searching a seed keyword or keyword phrase on the search engine. What you will discover is the beginning of a journey through a rabbit hole with lots of useful information that will fuel your present level of excitement about the business you are trying to initiate.
This information will be grouped into a group of seven different categories listed as follows or similar.
Category Number 1: Observe the top 10 results generated by the search engine result page also known as the SERPS. Open each one of the results and see how your competitors are already offering solutions to your market. Also, determine how many pages are offering results already.
Category Number 2: Observe the top 10 automatically suggested searches by the search box. You may notice that as you are typing your seed keyword or keyword phrase, the search area is also auto-suggesting and attempting to populate the area ahead of you.
Take note of the different phrases from the artificial intelligence of the search engine. Each one of these is likely an additional opportunity for you to serve and make more money.
Category Number 3: Observe the “People also ask” section of the SERP. You will see the question that other people similar to people who search your seed keyword or keyword phrase are searching on the search engine. These are additional opportunities that most people engaging in digital marketing are not taking advantage of.
Category Number 4: If you are trying this on a smart mobile phone, I want you to observe the “People also search for” section for more ideas on angles to serve this market from.
Quick question. How many people advertising online today would you guess are patient enough to do this much market research before wasting thousands of dollars on digital marketing?
Category Number 5: There is another section which may not show on every device called the “Refine This Search” section. You should pay attention to it. This is the machine attempting to help your audience narrow down their search faster and easier to the answer.
The machines don’t create these answers from thin air. These are answers from your competitors being fed to a person who is potentially an ideal client of yours. When they are ready to spend money, guess whose pocket that money is going into. Your guess is as good as mine.
Category Number 6: Sometimes, your seed keyword or keyword phrase is too narrow for the search engines to find meaningful results and it can tell because of the growing machine learning and artificial intelligence technology.
So there is a section mostly on smart mobile phones called “Broaden This Search” on the SERP. This section will give additional ideas of exactly what is in the mind of that person that potentially and possibly-desperately needs your service.
Category Number 7: This section is probably the one you are familiar with if you also use Google to answer every question that comes to mind like me. It’s called the “Related Searches” section and it’s usually at the bottom of the screen if you are on a desktop.
If this section is populated, it’s an indicator that there is a market for the business you have in mind.
This is what I want you to do. I want you to come up with a seed keyword phrase for your business using this formula. The phrase will start with one of seven different types of phrases.
I want you to end each one of those phrases with a phrase that represents what your business offers.
For example, my digital marketing consulting business market research would start with “I want to market my business on Google.” Another example could be “where is the nearest digital marketing consultant?”
Come up with 100 different phrases like that for your business and attempt to search each one of them on your favorite search engine like Google, Yahoo or YouTube which is the 2nd biggest search engine at press time.
The top of the search engine result page will actually tell you how many results are generated. That’s a starting indicator of how many pages are competing for the attention of your ideal person, audience, market, customer or client.
After this exercise, you would have gotten to know that “person” a little more. And that means you are better equipped to serve the person a little bit more than your average competitor. It's a competitive advantage at worst.
Most people are going to shy away from this exercise and that increases your chances of dominating your market and leaving scraps for the rest.
These persons that your business will serve are in two different categories. They are probably searching for a solution already and secondly, they are already following your competitor.
Market research and competition analysis gives you an opportunity to find out where they are spending their time with that smart device in their hands and legally stealing them from your competitors.
The first category is called the intent based market audience and the second category is called the interrupt market audience. Let’s quickly break it down.
The intent based market audience is actively in the middle of intentionally searching and looking for a solution that your business provides.
On the flip-side, the interrupt-based market audience is not actively searching for a solution but we’ve been able to track their activities online and determine their interest based on their online behavior.
In that case, they would be interrupted in the middle of other unrelated activities online in order to get into their discovery zone. The journey of your ideal “person(s)” travels through four main stages namely:
In chapter 3, we will be diving through “value”, how to identify it and leverage it to create a smooth transition for your person(s), the market, from discovery all the way through conversion into a customer and long term client and even beyond.
In fact, with this same concept, you will be able to turn a decent percentage of your best clients to loyal evangelists for your business therefore creating even more revenue; all thanks to value.
Previously in Digital Marketing Certified, I shared a little bit of my story, my path to and through digital marketing from investing $2,000 to making $12. I also shared how it’s actually worse to get stuck in a rat race as an entrepreneur.
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You probably also learned for the first time that it’s cheaper and much more effective and efficient to leverage digital marketing to build a business than it is to spend your hard earned money on billboards and yellow books.
Okay. I know I didn’t mention yellow books yet. But you should know that it’s probably the biggest scam of the 2010’s because many people still spent millions of dollars literally on those two marketing channels long after it had become obsolete. Sure we still received it at the house but they went straight into the garbage right?
I am glad you are still reading because we are actually just getting started. Just like the last 10 years of digital marketing, that was all introduction.
This whole thing is about to be better and more exciting. We are just scratching the surface. And I’ve promised from the beginning, I want to take you on a journey that is so self explanatory, you couldn’t wait to apply to your own businesses and endeavors.
If you are like me, you shy away from attention. It’s like a taboo to seek attention beyond the average level of attention that you get when you go to work daily. But fortunately or unfortunately, you have to get attention when you have a product or service to offer. You can’t get stuck with that “I’m conservative” excuse.
I am speaking from experience. I know it may be hard to believe but I am introverted to a large extent. My natural instinct is to keep things quiet and win quietly. But that won’t work when you have a business to run with a goal to at least create more positive impact. Precisely, you need attention.
So Lisa just wanted to make money. That was the goal she thought. She had spent probably about $2,300 or more in different digital products in efforts to make money online. Not only that, she had abandoned some other traditional business she was trying to build.
This was the very early days of marketing online and it was an exciting idea particularly for those who were tired of chasing family and friends around to support their little businesses. For some people, the goal had become to shame those who never supported them, to prove a point or to seek validation from the wrong sources.
Lisa had just lost her life savings on investing in a traditional business and she wanted to make some quick money so that she can prove to herself that she can do it. But that is “it?”
This is also a tell-tale sign and little-to-no wonder why she lost money in the first place. Do you notice the vague nature of her goals?
Many people jump into digital marketing just like Lisa. It’s either a goal with respect to sentiments or goals set in the wrong direction.
The truth is that there are more than enough platforms online that will take your money and send you back into the streets without apologizing for it. It’s your responsibility to turn profit and their responsibility to take your money in exchange for access to the advertising platform.
After my first consultation with her, it was clear to me that we couldn’t move forward until I helped her set clear and concise goals. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
“What’s your goal?” “I want to get more clients.” “Why?” “Because I want to.” “Okay. I can’t help you.” “Why not?” “Because I can’t.” “Okay thanks.” That’s literally but probably an oversimplified version of the conversations.
But it’s actually worse now because anyone can jump on an advertising platform and lose money because it’s accessible.
Many of the online and social media ad platforms are advertising the easy to get started message. So people are jumping on, setting up an account without setting goals properly.
Digital marketing is a beautiful development in recent and modern times but there are more variables and layers to it than a typical human mind can contain or sustain at any point in time.
Therefore it’s easy to lose track of activities and potentially lose money just by the mere fact that you know what you want. You know your business more than anyone else and I’m sure you think you know who your ideal customers and clients are.
But that’s a problem. Let me explain.
For everything that you know about anything in life, there is always a blindspot. You can also think of such blindspot as a function of your biases based on your past experiences. Traditionally, that would be good enough to carry you for up to 5 years or even more with advertising your product and services.
However like everything else now in the human experience, what you knew yesterday can be easily obsolete today just like that. Things are moving so fast that the human brain can’t keep up. And what does this have to do with setting goals in digital marketing?
Wait. I’ll get there. As I was saying, you think you know your business. In fact, you too have your social media profile and participate as a consumer on those various platforms; but that’s it. As a consumer, you know these things.
In this book, we are focused on what it takes to be a profitable producer for the various digital platforms. Everything happens so fast and it will be a losing battle to attempt to keep up with it just by knowing what you want.
Knowing what you want is not enough to run digital marketing campaigns successfully. It’s precisely a good way to lose money or lose time and energy or run campaigns that will frustrate you and make you resent the idea of digital marketing all together.
Instead, I want to help you set smart goals. S.M.A.R.T goals. I promise. I am not talking about vision boards. And I am not knocking vision boards either. But they can be as vague as they get.
Knowing what you want is a good place to start but it needs to be aligned with quantifiable business goals and objectives.
Too many people work for 10 years or more, save good money and build excellent credit, run to the bank to get a loan.. Just off knowing what they want.
I have way too many stories of people who have had to start from scratch like that. Some of them even lose their family because of the financial stress on the relationships they care about. I can tell you that it starts from the foundation.
Once you’ve identified what you want from digital marketing, be it leads, sales, customers, clients, deals or to recruit quality team members into your organization, then it’s time to put that into black and white, assess and align with your business goals.
I want you to trace it to actual profits or whatever you want to call it in order to be able to afford doing it. The way I was raised, I also tend to shy away from the idea of maximizing profits. So I understand when people say things like “I just want to help people.”
That’s cute. But you also want to be able to afford doing it over and over again. Breaking even on the money, time and energy you spend on either a for-profit or non-profit organization will end up frustrating the whole thing. And then it becomes pointless.
So it’s very important to align what you want out of this with maximizing profits and business goals in order to define goals and business objectives properly for your digital marketing efforts. To suggest anything less than spelling it out like this for you is destructive behavior.
Your goals need to be defined in a quantifiable manner. Remember this was all about finding new opportunities to serve.
This could be a new student for your school or course, a new customer for your business, a new client for your private consulting practice, a new deal etc.
The bottomline is that these are people that will go from awareness of what you have to offer to consideration of your product or service and then hopefully to conversion. You could be a pastor and we could be talking about attracting new members to your church.
So this is going to be an experience for them from awareness or discovery to conversion. What are your goals? And how soon do you want to accomplish the goals?
In addition to that, I want you to be aware that the experience of your ideal customer, client or member will happen in segments. Some of them will discover you and convert to a customer right away, some will not convert till two years later and everything in between. Oh… and some will never convert.
You will set high level goals and you will also set goals to optimize the experience of the audience firstly by building brand and influence. “Branding and influence” all in itself sounds vague but we are able to quantify and track progress with digital marketing.
Back in 2009, when I first stumbled into digital marketing, it was easy to set up an experience and make money without branding but competition is a bit higher right now as digital marketing becomes more popular.
How do we know? We set high level goals such as a specific amount like say… One Million Dollars in Sale in One Year, but we also set micro-goals at every segment in the experience of your customer.
A smart goal will also help in a feasibility study before wasting your hard earned money on a project that will lead nowhere. Digital Marketing is for everyone but every campaign type is not for every business type. A smart goal will help us further in a feasibility study of a good campaign fit among so many opportunities.
Let’s spell out smart goals. S.M.A.R.T. And let’s break it down. I did not create this. From a little research, I found out that the smart goal is a concept that was created in 1981 by George T. Doran. Since I’ve personally learned about it, I’ve also seen different versions of it.
S for Specific - Your goal needs to be one thing at least defined as that… at a high level first before we break it down using a process called CBS (Campaign Breakdown Structure).
There is a book I will recommend and link up in the reference section at the end of this book called “ONE THING” by Gary Keller to help you understand the concept even more.
M for Measurable - The project management institute (PMI) called this “meaningful”. I think that is interesting.
What it means (no pun intended) is that you can actually measure your goal and therefore be able to track progress towards achieving it. “Speaking of achieving it…”
A for Achievable - How realistic is this goal? I know you may have heard and believe in all types of manifestation of your desires and all types of Jedi mind tricks and techniques to attract what you want in life. I believe in those things too.
But when you are setting up digital marketing campaigns that involve spending time, energy and possibly your hard earned money, I want you to make sure that you are doing so with respect to a realistically achievable goal.
The manifestation stuff depends on hope as a strategy but successful digital marketing campaigns depend on setting specific, meaningful and achievable goals.
Do you have the skills to achieve the goals? If you don’t, does someone on your team have the skills? Or do you have access to the necessary education to acquire the skills? That is obviously a “yes” because this is a great start in that direction.
If you will be dropping this book before you complete it, it’s best to throw any digital marketing related goals in the trash already. It will save you so much headache.
Without the direct or indirect access to the required skills and resources, especially education, you will lose money in digital marketing and it’s worse if you are losing it in the form of time and energy.
You can make money back but you can’t get time back. When people waste time, they are usually not valuing and tracking their time properly.
R for Relevant - I’ve seen other versions labeling this as realistic. But that would probably correlate more with the previous one which is “achievable”.
The relevance factor is moreso another level of making sure your goal for a digital marketing campaign aligns with your overall business objective. If it doesn’t, it becomes another distraction.
Personally, I resent all forms of distractions in business because frankly, I’ve been a victim of distractions multiple times in my business career.
Also, some of the advertising (or ad) platforms you will be setting campaigns up on have metrics for measuring relevance factor and quality score even at micro levels. So I want you to start adopting that mindset right now already at this higher level.
T for Time-Bound - And again, PMI called this “timely”. Remember, we are not just setting a goal of one million dollars in that previous example. We are setting a time frame because of the dangers of Parkinson's law.
What is Parkinson's Law?
Parkinson's Law is the old adage that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion. The term was first coined by Cyril Northcote Parkinson in an essay he wrote for “The Economist” in 1955.
When you don’t set a desired achievement time on a goal, you are still setting a time; forever or never. These are terrible timeframes for business. In fact, the ad platforms will stop taking your money eventually because they are set up to only work for folks who know what they are doing.
The whole point of this is to reiterate and reemphasize the importance of defining success up front and subsequently avoid unnecessary disappointments with your digital marketing campaigns. It’s a mindset and it’s the proper foundation before engaging too far and in too deep.
Here is an example of a goal statement.
Specific - “I want to write a book called Digital Marketing Certified (DMC).”
Measurable - “The book will have a minimum of 10 chapters and 30,000 words between 150 and 200 pages.”
Achievable - “Because I am busy with other endeavors, I can realistically achieve writing this book in about 12 weeks.”
Relevant - “Digital Marketing Certified (DMC) is relevant to my overall business goals because it will educate my friends on what I do, help me get more students and clients, educate my future clients first, and more importantly make projects 1,000 times easier for the team and stakeholders.”
Time-Bound - “The book will be ready for publishing in 12 weeks because I am committed to releasing a video version weekly on my YouTube channel. until release.”
I know what you are thinking. “OLA, what about an actual digital marketing goal statement example?”
I got you.
Specific - “I want to generate new clients at the $7,500 price point into my consulting business with digital marketing.”
Measurable - “I want to generate 13 new clients into my consulting business.”
Achievable - “I have 2 clients already generated from my last traditional word of mouth campaign leveraging a messaging app broadcast. I have generated some revenue, streamlined by prospecting process and I can do this 13 more times definitely.”
Relevant - “Getting 13 month more clients will not just put me at 15 clients which aligns with my overall business goals, it will also bring in more revenue so that I can invest in more efficient processes, acquire more resources and build my team. I don’t want to be a slave to the business.”
Time-Bound - “I want to acquire all 13 new clients in the next 90 days.”
So this is what I want you to do. Open an empty document on Google Docs and write your very own goal statement. If I were you and I am completely new to digital marketing, I would definitely print it out for my desk.
In the next chapter, we will dive into the next piece of the pieces that you need to understand deeply in order to create successful and profitable digital marketing campaigns.
Like me, I know you want to serve many people. But you must understand these people as individuals first and not as a group in order to create the most optimized impact as aligned with your overall business goals.
Unwanted Separation? Use THESE 5 Tips! So we received a comment on one of the best videos we've ever done called "Ignoring Your Spouse During Separation" from one of our 1,125 extremely valuable subscribers on YouTube; Queen.
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
https://lolaandola.com/unwanted-separation/
Make sure you search and check out that video once you finish watching this video.
She says... And I quote
“Going thru separation. I love and miss my husband. He asked to be alone for a year. What do I do while we are living apart?”
Queen. I’m sorry you are going through this. Separation is not easy on anyone. As devastating as it sounds, it sometimes can yield positive outcomes.
In fact, we are going to share 5 tips with you on how to dramatically increase the chance of making this season productive for you especially in spite of what it may feel like right now.
The marriage institution is exactly that; an institution. And all disrespect of the institution will lead to a terrible outcome which is a legal or spiritual evaporation of the marriage.
One of such disrespects happens when people get into marriages that lack explicitly identified purpose. It's also synonymous with a marriage with no clear vision from the leader.
So if there is no leader, even if it's temporarily, there is no vision and things fall apart.
At this point, Queen… you have to be realistic and identify your own life mission and purpose.
It's going to be instrumental in attracting your husband back to you if he belongs there in the first place.
Major focus has to be directed to building yourself up because it's about being worthy of attracting what you desire; even if that's your marriage and/or your husband.
Whatever you engage henceforth should either be your passion or some type of stepping stone towards your passion.
There is a tricky fine line between holding yourself accountable and not forgiving yourself. Everything in life is a double edged sword that can cut both ways.
Holding yourself accountable when your marriage seems to be failing is no different. You want to make sure that you've forgiven yourself for at least being what you may be perceiving as failure.
After all, failure is the stepping stone towards all forms of success.
Guilt, blame, condemnation and judgement will work against you because they will consume 10 times the energy you could use to improve yourself in order to attract love and your desires again.
He wants time off, let him go. The truth is that negotiating desire is always a terrible strategy because it leads back into this vicious cycle of resenting yourself.
If your husband has asked to be alone for a year, the reality is that he doesn't want to be alone because he is human; a social being like the rest of us. He just doesn't want to be with you again.
At least subconsciously, you also know this to be true so you naturally fight to hold on to your husband evidently by begging, calling obsessively, manipulation and other strategies that only repel and not attract love.
So the fear becomes, "what if I let go and then he gets with someone else"?
Okay. What if he does? I ask you. Can you survive that reality? If you can't survive that reality, where is the sexy self-confidence and self-esteem that attracted him in the first place?
It's little to no wonder why he doesn't want to be with you.
Here is another reality. That's just how he felt the moment it was said. It's not necessarily how he is going to feel once he smells that you don't need him ever again.
To want him and to need him are two different things. No one wants to be with a needy person.
So the first step is to let him go in order to let your magic... maybe God.... do its thing.
There is more.
We've seen a lot of people running around social media and different types of conversations talking about "self love".
Let's be honest. Some people are too selfish and should not be talking about self love if they don't want to self-sabotage when it comes to attracting authentic love over time.
But in your case Queen, rejection breeds obsession. So you are probably pouring from an empty cup and not taking care of yourself enough. That's not attractive nor is it sustainable.
In this season for you, the work is in taking care of and loving up on yourself.
I understand it's hard when you experience rejection especially when it involves a potential break up of your family.
But remember that everything goes back to attraction and desire which you should never negotiate. People, including your husband, really have no choice but to mimic the level of self love that you have for yourself.
At the minimum, people will mimic your level of self-respect. Focus on doing things you love and for yourself during this period and don't have ultimatums on doing that.
Make it a lifestyle.
I have a question for you. Are you naturally a selfish person?
Use the comment area below to share your answer with us.
There is a chance that you are already not a selfish person. So it's time to pivot and it's your best chance of attracting love with or without your husband.
I know you are probably so obsessed that you don't want to hear about love outside of your husband. But think about this deeply. Love is love and it really wouldn't matter when you are in-love.
It also doesn't matter because loving yourself will make you more attractive and therefore increase your chances of attracting anyone to desire you; hopefully your husband.
And last but not least.
Okay. I don't want you to set yourself up because honestly that marriage is gone. Because even if your husband comes back to you, you will have to build a new foundation.
When we say look out for clarity, we need you to do that from a space of selfishness and what is good for your own life and the rest of your life.
I don't want you to sit around and start expecting your husband to suddenly decide to come back to his senses. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
If he comes back, good for him… and for you I hope.
With these tips, you will definitely influence him if he is human like the rest of us because he will wonder and become unsure of where you stand.
That will effectively drive his attraction towards you in an upwards direction.
But you can't control what other people do. You can only control how you respond to life and consequently control what you attract.
Things will start to align when you let go and genuinely become capable of enjoying every moment of your life without needing him.
We are speaking from experience. We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.
On this episode, we are going to react to a Melanin King clip from a her dating show that involved a 60 years old man who is single, shot his shot at her and wants to build a family. Is it still possible?
FULL EPISODE - https://youtu.be/ei-kX8JClKM
Why is Marsau attracting disrespect from his in-laws?
https://lolaandola.com/dealing-with-in-law-issues/
We may be speaking from our traditional perspective here but nope… We’ve spent most of our lives in the west.
So we have some context.. at least some.
I do think that there is a lot of disrespect coming to Marsau from Latisha’s family. But dare I say it… he deserves it because he is attracting it.
Maybe “deserve” is a little too harsh… maybe it’s not relevant since for the most part, we don’t know what we don’t know when it comes to marriage.
What are we talking about here?
We are talking about one of our favorite shows to watch together on OWN TV; Love and Marriage: Huntsville.
It's a show in its fourth season which showcases the married life of 3 or 4 couples... one of which is Marsau and Latisha.
They’ve been married for years so they ‘kinda’ know a lot when it comes to this marriage thing.
But it almost seems...
THAT very factor is creating a blind spot for Marsau.
In-Law issues are the necessary evil that we all have to deal with as married people.
And the fact is that Marsau talks too much when it comes to his in-laws... starting with Latisha's mother.
When I talk about “game”, people always assume that we are talking about dating or pick-up artistry only.
The truth is that married men need even more game.
The higher you climb in any form of hierarchy, the more of a shit test target you become.
Marsau’s in-laws represent the first phase of Latisha’s life… development years for that matter… which means there are all types of sentimental values that he will never be fully aware of.
Alright. With that being said, let's go ahead and share 5 tips for dealing with in-laws in a way that doesn't tamper with your marriage.
The limitations of this, of course, is a physical threat to your wife. But you don't have the capacity to proactively save her emotionally from her own family; her source.
The safest way to remotely get close to saving her in a way that puts you at an advantage as her husband is to be that shoulder to cry on
…or a safe haven she can always trust to run to when she occasionally gets burnt over there.
I don't remember if Marsau attempted to save Tisha from her cousin while beefing about her trip with Tisha's friend which she was kept out of.
That right there is a prime example allowing her to go through that on her own.
Many at times, it's going to feel like one or a few of your in-laws come with overbearing energy.
If it's a physical attack, call the police. That should never be tolerated.
It's usually not a physical attack. As for emotional or verbal attacks directed at you, don't feed into it. Why?
Because your wife's feelings matter to you.
So at the end of the day, you need to just remove yourself temporarily because that's what's going to create the best result for you in the long run.
Maybe in the short term it feels unfair. But marriage is never supposed to be a competition... remember.
Remove yourself physically and temporarily if you ever feel the need to feed into negativity; it's not worth it.
Marsau finds himself feeding into Ms. Wanda's negativity all the time. I know... "A man is supposed to check misbehavior as they come, right? No matter who it's coming from."
Wrong! That's a short sighted way of looking at things. Some battles are just not worth the expense.
I also know that he puts on that face CAP like it’s all banter. But we can see through the bullshit.
It's going to happen... sometimes from a very subconscious place. You will feel like you're competing with your in-laws for your wife's attention.
It should never be a competition but I understand you are human like the rest of us.
She already chose you as the husband for a reason so it's best to just maintain self-respect and esteem and remain the king that you are in your own household.
Anything else is validation and approval seeking behavior.
This awareness we just hopefully created will go a long way for you in protecting your position and your family.
At this point, you are probably hearing me tell you to kill them with kindness. I didn't say that.
All I am asking you to do is to maintain your desired position with a long sighted view; be it a leader or a follower.
In one of the episodes, we watched Tisha and Marsau evaluate a food truck business venture with Ms.Wanda.
Per Tisha's request, they were to invest in that business starting with buying and fixing this old dilapidated food truck sitting in the middle of nowhere.
This is a tricky one... and there is no absolute advice here... just a little guide.
Ideally, this type of investment should be avoided if possible.
It's better to give Ms.Wanda, your in-law, whatever you want and can afford to give her as a gift so that you don't become attached or invested in the outcome of the business venture.
It was obvious that Tisha really wanted to do this with her mother. If that’s the case, Marsau is better off giving Tisha the gift and detaching himself from the outcome for his own peace of mind.
Question of the day: Share in the comment area in one word... What do you think attachment to outcomes turns into when it comes to marriage and relationships?
So let's say Marsau follows this advice and gives Tisha the gift to invest with her mother.
From experience and analyzing a lot of cases, we know that "I told you so" moments are inevitable in the future.
As you probably already guessed, that wouldn’t be a moment for Marsau to say "I told you so."
Many times, your wife will come to you and report on how her family member offended her. Don't insert yourself and start judging them.
Just listen. Just be understanding. It's okay to be fascinated.
“Wow..” “That’s crazy.”, “Interesting..” “O ga o”.
It's okay to be interested without judging.
If you're judging her family, she may feel good about it right now.
Later on or if you are consistent enough with that behavior, she may start to feel some kind of way about it because that's her family.
You're going to become the enemy.
We are speaking from experience. In fact, we share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and sharing with us below in the comment area what you'd like us to cover in the next video.
2009, February. This story was launched into new dimensions. A partner and friend invited me into a home-meeting designed to launch a home business. I want to tell you that story but let’s talk about this being my 4th published book for context.
https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/fygCMQ96QCY
Previously in the world of my book writing endeavors, I published my 3rd book called Real Estate Money Secrets as a follow up to the first book I ever published called Smart Real Estate Wholesaling.
Between those two books, I co-authored a book with my wife called Get My Marriage Back to help couples going through a crisis in marriage rekindle things in a sustainable and healthy way.
It is with great pleasure that I present to you my 4th published book; Digital Marketing Certified. I believe it’s going to be my greatest work thus far towards my on-going effort to continue to put more value out into the world.
Not just because it’s going to help me make more money but honestly, because it will help you add more value into the world, create a positive impact and yes, make more money.
It almost feels like my books are tracking my personal journey; which I am about to share with you in a second. I like it because it’s starting to make sense.
There were times that I had planned to write other books in the past few years but it just never happened. This book is not just written; you are also here reading it and to me, that’s a sign of lots of greatness that will come through you into this world.
Reading this book 10-15 times is not just about reading a book. It’s about mastery of what it’s going to take to connect your message and the value you have to offer the world with your core audience; literally millions of them waiting to receive your awesomeness.
I want to be able to track your progress and especially your story as it’s also being documented as you implement what you learn in this book; that’s my greatest wish.
So 2009, February as I was saying earlier, my digital marketing story was officially launched into new dimensions. A partner and a friend invited me into a home meeting designed to launch a home business in his apartment, West New York, New Jersey.
A multi-million dollar real estate business had just gotten wiped out from underneath me due to the 2008 recession. So I was open to ways of pivoting because I experienced massive unfathomable success between the ages of 26 and 28 year old.
You couldn’t tell me anything. I was on top of the world and suddenly; it was over. I tried building an online mall, a car export business and a few other things. I just knew that I was never going into the 9-5 world.
I just always knew that I had more value in me to offer the world. It feels like a big whole ball of fire inside of me and it would be the greatest form of punishment to lock me inside of a cubicle for eight plus hours and 5 days per week or more.
In hindsight, I now know that I was naive and too young to be able to comprehend everything I have now learned since then; over 12 years.
Anyway, I ended up signing up for a network marketing business opportunity and that officially launched me into the world of marketing.
With the prior real estate business, I actually leveraged the power of the internet with direct response and email marketing in so many creative ways. But I didn’t realize it was all digital marketing.
I recruited my whole family into the network marketing, multi-level marketing, MLM business model but they all did nothing with the business opportunity. So I received a $12 check months later in exchange for the $2,000 that I spent on signing them all up.
In 2014, I made my way back into real estate in collaborations with other investors, wholesaling, training and coaching investors how to market using my systems. But since 2009, there is one aspect of all these that I wake up to daily; that’s marketing. I am obsessed.
One of the most difficult and “easy to be distracted from” lessons I’ve discovered is that everyone needs a link to opportunities to serve. Let me explain.
We all want to, not just survive, but we want to be financially stable enough to enjoy the things we like to enjoy. Let’s just address the elephant in the room.
We all want more money no matter how much we already have. Everytime, you get a raise in income, a new problem is created. Naturally, the cost of your lifestyle follows suit.
There is not much difference between being a business owner or not; I learned after about a decade. It’s still a rat race if you do not figure out how to link up with new opportunities to serve on a regular basis.
Gone are those days, when you would spend 40 hours per week on the same job for 40 years starting at an entry level of $40,000 annual salary. Even a 6-figure salary doesn’t add up any longer.
Honestly, I am not even talking about the money because I believe that part is a by-product of having the skills to link yourself up with new opportunities to serve more consistently.
In the 9-5 world, it’s about those resumes connecting with new potential employers on a consistent basis. You can no longer afford to settle with one employer for 40 years.
But in business, it’s about connecting with new leads, new customers, new clients and new deals on a consistent basis on demand. In a highly competitive world, it’s difficult if you don’t pay attention to the digital evolution.
Think about it. How many businesses do you see on your way home with “closing out sales?” Every organization including charity organizations are struggling connecting to people who can donate.
Here is the problem. The world hasn’t moved on. It’s moving as a consistent constant. Technology is always evolving and I’m sorry, business cards and billboards have become the most ineffective way to connect with new opportunities to serve and off course make more money.
So how do you connect with new leads, new prospects, new customers, new clients, new deals, new jobs and more money as the world continues to evolve in the digital era?
You guessed it right. Digital Marketing; the art and science of leveraging the digital evolution to build influence and connect your values with an audience that already wants it badly.
Just a few years ago, we called it internet marketing and online marketing. But the truth is that we can’t keep up because there are on-going developments around the same concept; everything is digital and digitally evolving.
In fact, sooner or later, we are going to have half-humans half-robots taking away more old school jobs. But the good news is that more new-school jobs are being created.
Digital marketing is a solution to the problem of connecting with new opportunities as relevant to the obsession of mankind with wanting everything easier, simpler, faster and all the other ‘er’s you can think of.
But we also know that every solution creates new problems. And every problem creates new opportunities to solve more problems.
So I hope you are starting to think of the idea of digital marketing as the greatest opportunity to make more money and build out your career, your life and your legacy no matter what it is.
I guess the easiest proof I can offer you right now is to observe just social media, which is just one piece of many, from this lens for 24 hours. Then write your objective observations as to how much money is moving hands right in front of you in real time.
While many businesses are going under due to what I consider as arrogance, many new companies and income opportunities are rising daily from something so obvious, many still can’t see it.
We are going to use this book to shed light on digital marketing and also teach the skills required to take serious advantage of it.
If you are still reading, you already know that you need to be marketing in order to keep bringing new eyeballs and revenue into your business. You already know that it's a direct source of food for the beast.
So even if you want to do great things for others from the goodness of your heart, you know that you won’t be able to afford to keep it going if no revenues are coming in.
But the question now is why should you pivot from more traditional types of marketing into digital? For one, it’s easier, simpler and gets you results faster. And guess what, it’s actually cheaper too.
Back in the days, a lot of marketing activity involved throwing stuff against the wall and hoping that something will stick. Quite often than none, some did stick. But I would attribute that to that particular environment where everyone else didn’t know any better.
In this digital age, more and more people are discovering it; even though I believe that digital marketing is still very much in its infancy stages.
That right there is your competitive advantage going right out the window. Sure there is a balancing act between not just jumping on every bandwagon and being proactive when it comes to new technology.
Leveraging digital marketing is one of those where you have to be proactive because it has to do with the blood and life of your mission; new people to serve.
As opposed to traditional methods, everyone is equal. (I’m not sure if that’s a good thing) and it’s easy to get started. That could have been a disadvantage but because getting started is readily available to anyone, most people are taking it for granted.
Many people literally had to wait years for major universities to be teaching it in their curriculum to pay attention to digital marketing. It’s not too late but that doesn't mean you didn’t miss out on certain opportunities that come from taking action at ground zero.
So I get approached every now and then by people who have a little money to spend on marketing to build their movement and mission. “Ola, I’ve got $25,000 to spend on marketing. Where should I start?”
It’s probably the most popular question that I get. “How do I get started?” Some would say, “there are too many people talking, exactly where is the starting point?”
That can be absolutely confusing and frustrating. So I get it. Especially when you consider the beast itself; the internet is such a viral machine that it’s so easy to get lost in a rabbit hole without any chances of coming out with a useful product.
That’s one of my goals with this book. I want to help you outline a step-by-step approach which obviously has to start with a step one. Speaking of goals, the first step is for you to get crystal clear on what your personal and business goal is, not “are”, but “is” with respect to why you want to leverage digital marketing.
Without a clearly written out goal and purpose statement, you will get lost in the sauce of the beast because what we love about it what you may end up resenting about it.
I can’t tell you how many people have left the mission because of the frustration directly linked to not starting with a goal and clear purpose. It may sound simple but anything worthwhile in life and business is easier said than done.
This book is a great guide, a type of bible, if you will, to help you stay grounded in your set purpose as you navigate the world of digital marketing.
That’s what we are going to use as seed for the initial research to identify the right content, platform, placement strategy that will create your desired results from this simple process presented in this book.
Go ahead and log in into your favorite social media platform right now. What do you see? I bet you see some type of news and/or post feed.
Here is something else you will notice. You will notice that the first few postings in that feed tend to be a continuation of the same type of content you had been engaging at least with your eyes during your recent browsing.
As simple and as regular or obvious as that may sound to you right now, I want you to realize how powerful it is to follow your ideal customer and client with content they are most likely going to engage again.
“Again?” Yes. It’s very important to pay particular attention to the idea that you can actually track the interest of your ideal audience down to what they are most likely going to enjoy and engage in. Imagine being able to track this phenomenon down to micro-behaviors and leverage it to build your ability to connect with more opportunities to serve and therefore make money.
It’s been proven time and time again that your average customers will not do business with you just after their first encounter with your business. Back in the days, you would have to make follow-up calls to see if they are ready to do business.
But in the digital era, you can track and set up automated campaigns to take advantage of what we already know for centuries.
Have you experienced an ad following you to every website you go after viewing a product that you didn’t buy yet? With digital marketing, you are able to track people’s interest and connect it to your offer in the marketplace in an extremely predictable and scalable way.
In this digital age, it’s all trackable numbers that you can leverage to create more of its kind; optimized for massive profits in your business.
Before we dive in through the rest of this book which I know you are excited about, this is what I want you to do. I want you to grab a piece of paper or open an empty document on your personal computer.
Then I want you to write straight from your heart what you want personally from digital marketing. I want you to describe your desired outcome in full detail and what that desired outcome would mean to you with respect to wealth building and living a healthier lifestyle and fostering better personal and business relationships.
Here is what’s going to happen. You will discover how much you have buried inside for one. In addition to that, you will notice a flow of ideas based on what we’ve covered in just the introduction.
There are some exceptions. Maybe you are one of them and you don’t feel that way after honestly going through that exercise. This is what I want you to do.
I want you to describe in full detail how you’ve attempted to use emails and/or social media in any capacity to advance your outcome either in business or in your personal life.
Once you’ve done that, I want you to attempt to quantify the outcome you got from such activities in the past and then multiply it somehow by 100. Continue to describe the product of that exercise because I know you may find it difficult at this point to describe things in discrete data.
Congratulations. You have just had your first experience in the excitement you are about to discover over the next 11 chapters of digital marketing awesomeness that’s about to happen to your business, and your mission.
It’s never been this easy to quantify the numerous activities involved in exposing content, products and services to quality eyeballs. Literally, all of it and more can be done from a laptop and a decent internet connection.
In the next and first official chapter, I am going to help you a little further in defining your goals. Remember, you ultimately know what outcome you desire from leveraging digital marketing to spread your message, impact, products and services.
But I want to help you define it in a way that you are able to predict results so you can double down over and over where necessary. No worries. It’s going to be a lot of fun as we dive even further into this.
ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY - "If I Have To Protect You, Why Can't I Hold You Accountable." [PART 2]
https://lolaandola.com/accountability-vs-blame-in-relationships/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/WkOrtvyZONE
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In my last video before part 1 on Will Smith’s apology video, I talked about blame as a function of baseless guilt and shaming.
Accountability on the flip side is a function of a solid foundation and set of values that all involved parties have subscribed to.
When you hold people accountable, you should be holding them to account for agreed standards within the right frame of mind. But when you mix that up with blame, shame, insults, there will be distortion of what the standards are… naturally.
I personally have to continually work on this when I hold men accountable. It’s hard when I can clearly see the wrong to not use certain languages to express my frustrations.
I tend to say things like lame, incel, weak etc.
Shaming, blaming, insults, condemnations simply cannot be in the same space as accountability in relationships, marriage and any type or romantic context.
I do have to keep my foot on your neck. Gentlemen, we have to figure this out.
Sign Number 5 - When you tend to use shaming, blaming, insults, condemnations and judgmental tactics, it’s a sign that your woman is having a hard time holding herself accountable to you.
Sign Number 4 - The use of the words “always” and “never”. Here is an example, “you never listen to me.” Such statements are lies by default and definitely signs of lack of self-accountability which “always: (no pun intended) turns to overall lack of accountability.
Sign Number 3 - Confusing lack of desire and lack of accountability is a sign of lack of self accountability and self-respect… and it’s worse.
Sign Number 2 - When you are confused between protecting her feelings vs making sure she feels protected while “holding her accountable” that’s a sign that will defeat accountability.
Sign Number 1 - Last but not least, active competition in any form between couples is a sign of lack of accountability on at least whoever is claiming to be the leader of the union.
When men talk about holding women accountable, there is usually a piece of information that I find missing.
“Exactly what are you holding her accountable to?”
At this point, the rambling usually starts for three minutes and then maybe ends at “women never apologize.”
Remember what I said earlier about the use of the words “always” and “never”. It’s a sign of lack of self-accountability and ignorance.
I do believe you should be able to at least hold yourself accountable for not being able to leave a terrible relationship. That in itself is an undefeatable strategy to holding women accountable.
But when I see stuff like..
“Hold women accountable by leaving them alone with their kids and cats,” I am forced to look at you sideways and ask. Why do you feel the need for the insults?
Is the truth not good enough? Is that a testament to why you are having a hard time holding your woman accountable?
Is this why you keep asking women to allow you to lead? Just questions…
A lot of people having these conversations are real time case studies of the lack of accountability epidemics. It’s contagious.
Because of their conduct evident by women being afraid to come on the panel for the discussions, it’s obvious to me why women will simply not listen to them.
And if they did, they tend to call them out on emotions in attempts to lead and hold them accountable… Clearly, it’s not working but then it’s supposed to be the woman’s fault.
I hear things like “I was respectful and she hits me with disrespect.”
Again, continuing to engage such a person (not just a woman) tells me you lack self respect. This will be a good moment to practice self-accountability.
Women are not just going to submit to you just for being a man. That’s being delusional and that’s not the reality of life in any society.
You get the basic bare minimum respect first and it’s easy to lose that with the mindset that all women should submit regardless.
Delusional people tend to use the word “should” a whole lot.
Having an opinion on strangers and the general public is not the same as holding them accountable. What could you possibly be holding them accountable to other than your own delusions?
If a person is already disagreeing with you in a debate, you can’t just move the goal post and switch it to an attempt to hold them accountable. That’s why you are failing.
By default, they are not agreeable because you are equally in debate with them.
Question: What do I do if my girlfriend never accepts her mistakes?
A Stupid Answer: “My suggestion is to just run from this toxic person….even I had a girlfriend who never used to accept her mistake…and she was trying to ruin my life…50 percent damage was already done by her to me so in order to save my future…I stopped contacting her…I am happy now… RUN…SAVE YOURSELF…”
The Right Answer: This answer is projection at best. If she never accepts her mistakes, the first step is to set a good tone and the second step is to have a conversation about it.
Frankly, I need to know her mistakes before I can help because you used the word “never.” That makes your accusations a lie by default until proven otherwise.
Question: Why doesn’t my girlfriend take responsibility for her wrong doings in our relationship and why do I apologize in the end?
A Stupid Answer: Why, indeed? Never falsely apologize. That's a lie. Worse, you lie to yourself. This person you refer to as your girlfriend is a drama queen. She hears nothing other than her own voice. Selfish as they come. I don't care how cute she appears on the outside, she's dark and ugly on the inside. You will continue to be treated badly if you don't put a stop to this. Next time you apologize let it be for your mistake of putting up with her.
The Right Answer: This started off as an okay answer but at the end it was laced with shaming, blaming and insults.
As much as the answer was, I guess, designed to make the asker of the question feel good, he probably felt worse because of the past choices and the focus becomes that.
Blame is 100% destructive at a psychological level. It ignores all the processes that go into the choices that we make. Stop confusing it with accountability.
So there is a spectrum here that I stole nicely from a Dr Perel called the relationship accountability spectrum. It was used to categorize ghosting in dating to icing, passive, simmering, power parting and active cold ghosting.
WIth the same idea, think of holding a woman accountable as four different methods on a spectrum.
Where do you fall on that spectrum?
A bad woman? Hold yourself accountable and leave. Easier said than done… right?
5 Signs of a Cheating Woman
Karen is just an inch away from being ousted by her husband's best friend who is also a co-worker.
https://lolaandola.com/5-signs-of-a-cheating-woman/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/1XwuVU01Ezc
He suspects that the rumors floating around work about the dude she hangs out with for lunch is true.
What’s the rumor?
Well… the rumor is that they have been going to eat something else during lunch and not food.
I know why you are here; you are wondering if your woman is cheating on you.
That’s sad!
Not the part where you want answers, but the fact that you are in this position to even have to question the loyalty and faithfulness of your woman.
I can only imagine what you are going through because trust can be extremely difficult to build back in marriage or relationship.
It’s damn near impossible but it’s possible. Never mind what all the lames are saying on the internet and social media these days.
Projection is at an all time high.
I am sure there are over-exhausted list of signs of a cheating woman out there designed to scare the sh*t out of you.
Trust me… it’s not that deep. After this, your fear will disappear.
We are going to spell out 5 signs of a cheating woman for you in the next few short minutes.
But before that…
What is Cheating?
LOLA: Without some form of agreement between two people to some code of conduct or standard, there is no such thing as cheating.
Cheating is what happens when one person steps outside of the code they agreed to with another person.
Let’s keep it simple. If you couldn’t share the full nature of the relationship you have with another person with your partner, it’s probably cheating.
But…
Who is a Cheating Woman?
Like you said, a cheating woman keeps a relationship she wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable sharing the details of with her partner or husband.
It doesn’t matter if physical intercourse was ever involved or not. If not yet, it’s only a matter of time anyway.
That’s true. So there are…
2 Main Types of Cheating
Whenever a woman keeps a relationship with another person who fills emotional void for her in romantic way even if there is no sexual intercourse, this is emotional cheating.
One trend we’ve seen is that women who participate in this bad behavior tend to do it with some types of blast from the past; maybe an ex.
This type of cheating actually feels worse to the victim because you’ll never know what happened.
None of the types of cheating feels good to a victim of infidelity. From a feeling standpoint… speaking as a man… the last thing I expect is for my woman to entertain romantic attention from another man.
I am sure women will say the same thing.
So what about…
LOLA: This occurs when physical intimacy has occurred between a cheating woman and another man.
Let's dive through the 5 signs you should look out for. But I have to give you a quick…
Warning: Overreaction and directly querying your woman if you notice these signs will backfire and make matters worse for you personally.
There is nothing wrong with a healthy space between romantic partners because distance does make the heart fonder. But the point and ideal is that she can't wait to get back with you whenever there is space.
If she is actively and consistently fighting for space from you in the same house, it could be a sign of cheating. More importantly, it's a sign of disconnection and the beginning of eventually cheating.
Typically, when a woman is going through it without necessarily cheating, she also does not feel sexy. But women can eventually get to a stage where she is enjoying attention outside of the relationship.
She would then do more to continue to attract such attention. If this correlates with a phase when she doesn't want to be intimate with you as a partner or husband, that could be a sign of a cheating woman.
Not only could she be enjoying some type of value for staying with you, she could be actively cheating you out of your freedom to go find happiness somewhere else.
Are you noticing a pattern here? She can't wait to spend time away from you with respect to engaging other people... and yes potentially romantically.
She may still be in a phase where she is fantasizing about the idea of being with another person so she entertains long conversations by text message with an emotional tampon on the side; emotional cheating.
Yea... you never know how far these types of fantasies can go. Again, this could be a sign of physical cheating or it could very much still be in the fantasy stage.
The flip side of this is that this is a sign of an emotional void being filled.
This sign right here clearly shows that she is hiding something. Like we said earlier, cheating is as simple as engaging in romantic activities with someone outside of your partner even if it is purely... virtually... a.k.a emotionally.
If you've noticed this to be a consistent behavior, it should be a concern for you. It's not a guarantee that she is cheating but she sure is hiding something.
Could she be hiding details about a surprise party for you?
I'm going to leave you with this warning again. Overreaction and directly querying your woman if you notice these signs will backfire and make matters worse for you personally.
Instead, engage a personal, individual and wise counsel first.
ACCOUNTABILITY vs RESPONSIBILITY - "If I Have To Protect You, Why Can't I Hold You Accountable?"
http://lolaandola.com/accountability-vs-responsibility/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/4ujnoB6wY4E
Wow. I won’t call this a stupid question even though I should. But I’ll tell you why you can’t hold her accountable. You lack self respect.
And the worst thing about it is that you are perpetuating it right now. It’s a competition. It’s a contest. It’s transactional. You’ve made yourself equal to the woman… she’s not even your woman.
But then I should calm down because it’s all YouTube panels and should not be conflicted with a romantic relationship.
CAP. Sadly… Many young men are taking these conversations back to their romantic relationships in attempts to hold a woman accountable. And it’s failing.
Anything I say in my lessons is easier said than done. But they are highly rewarding when you figure it out.
Thank you so much for being here. Please support the channel by hitting the like button, sharing the video and more importantly, sharing your thoughts and engaging in the comment area below.
In this lesson, we will answer questions and cover things like:
As we speak, there are tons of conversations going on reddit and various social media platforms around the idea that accountability is a woman's kryptonite.
Is that true?
In fact, the memes are endless. The manosphere talking points around women’s lack of accountability is likewise endless.
"60% of women cheat but 85% of the time it is the man's fault. Women tend to cheat because they are not being loved properly or they have been feeling lonely for a long period of time in a relationship and so they lean on another male for support and accidentally have sex with them."
As you know, this is a platform where we hold ourselves as men accountable particularly to facilitate personal growth with respect to relationships.
Weak men think of it as pandering. “Ola.. stop shaming men.”
One of the push back I get this most is…
“So it’s always a man’s fault?”
"Whatchu mean I don't have no accountability? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! See I have the ability to count.”
That is funny… You will also hear things like…
"Women demand equality except when they get special treatment for being a woman."
Some even say “Not only are they not held accountable, if a male is involved, he's held accountable for her actions!”
Well, when a man has not heard me long enough, it’s easy for him to say that I am holding him accountable for a woman’s actions.
Never that! But I could hold you accountable for not leaving and disengaging any conversation with her if she’s such a bad person. That is your action or lack there-of.
The talking points are endless. Here is another one.
“Y’all are both drunk and have sex. The male is held accountable.”
This one is obviously a generalization and you know how I feel about those.
And another one. “A girl flirts with a guy at work and the guy decides to go for it. The guy gets fired.”
Okay. So the society protects the most vulnerable first, children, then women before we get to the men in a society that has men, women and children… no aliens.
Where is the surprise here again?
“You both decide to get married but then the woman doesn't want to be married anymore and wants a divorce. The man has to pay alimony to women.”
80% of divorces are initiated by women. Congrats. You passed your data, facts and stats test. Now.. let’s get back into the real world.
I am guessing this is the part where we will all pretend that there is nothing between getting married and the divorce. It’s all vacuum. Right?
Let’s do one more.
“You both have sex and she gets pregnant. She's not going to be the one paying child support for the next 18yrs. You are.”
Again…. Gross generalization at best.
It’s just hard to come up with healthy solutions when you spend so much energy on (I won’t call it complaining even though it is.) generalizations, blaming, shaming and insults.
At that point, you now have to sell me harder on the idea that you in particular don't hate accountability as well.
If it does, I understand. That’s what being held accountable feels like.
But let’s reason together if we call ourselves men. Another one of the talking points is thinking of a man and taking away reason and accountability in order to spell “women”.
I am just being brutally honest and maybe you are stuck on the brutality of it. But I have to show you the reality and flash your results in your face… the only source of objective truth.
Let me repeat that. The only source of objective truth is reality, time and results. Everything else is an opinion based on old data.
I have to be honest in that there are lots of half-truths to all the examples and accusations of lack of accountability on women’s part.
But guess who is responsible for that? You guess that right. Whichever side of the gender wants to lead the society is responsible for that.
That’s the reality.
But again… women and accountability in a romantic context don’t mix and I don’t think they are supposed to mix… especially when there is no vision and order.
…especially not from a blame standpoint. I know there is a difference between blame and accountability but I know what blame sounds like.
It sounds exactly like when you claim you are holding women accountable. Am I pandering here… whatever….
The feminine energy is responsible for the chaotic and creative beauty that attracts us as men while the masculine energy is responsible for the structure, security, safety and order.
That’s what creates sexual polarity, the in-love experience and if you can manage it on a day-to-day basis long enough… 30 to 40 years from now, incels will call you lucky.
Outside of romance or anything affected or influenced by romance, women are held accountable all the time for their actions at work, in society, when they get pregnant and even on a month-to-month basis just for being women.
You can at least agree that the leader is responsible for the state of any context; society or romantic and individual levels. Right?
I found 3 dictionary meanings but I will use two of them for context and application. Dictionary meanings are terrible for relationships on face value.
So we have authority but at the cost of being exposed to blame.
This is the reality.
And so for those who want to hide under the canopy of a need to rebuild the community, you should know that the focus on blame and shame will defeat the purpose because you will effectively be pointing back at self.
Besides, I personally think every “women accountability talk” around building communities “is cap”. I’d rather we particularize it.
“Why do women hate being accountable when it comes to interactions with YOU?” That’s a better question with better chances of getting to an answer.
We will continue with… “Accountability Vs Blame In Relationships & Marriage in Part 2”
As much as I try to stay focused in business and in life, some things… you just can't ignore; digital marketing is one of them.
https://myempirepro.com/blog/digital-marketing-dealsleads-income5-reasons-engage-immediately/
Digital Marketing is the art and science of getting quality and profitable attention and exposure for products and services on the ever growing and increasing digital platforms such as Google, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram etc while collecting data for maximum optimization opportunities.
For example, if your offer is to buy houses from distressed homeowners to relieve them of the burden of a non-producing asset, imagine 1,000 highly targeted prospects seeing an ad on their smartphone that says “we buy ugly houses.”
All types of businesses are drowning as we speak because sales have slowed down everywhere due to complacency.
The uncertainty is increasing daily; thanks to our fast changing world.
I have been able to take advantage of many opportunities since 2005 my graduation year when I first got exposed to the world of business and October 2006 when I went full time as an entrepreneur.
Right now, we are at another important junction in our lifetime and it's important that you pay attention..
The more bloody it is financially for most people out there, high gas prices, inflation, increasing cost, declining valuations, crashing markets everywhere,
Digital marketing is a major source of those opportunities for your existing career, business and journey. In this lesson, I am going to give you 5 solid reasons why I think that is.
So many people have been flashing on the gram on credit and it's payday for the lenders.
What that means for those of us that have been in the trenches of digital marketing is payday too. If you pay attention to my next few words, you too can join the family.
Without any further ado, let's countdown the 5 reasons why you must engage your business and income with digital marketing starting immediately.
At the end of the day, money only comes from one place. Not from the sky, not from computers, not from mammy (at least if you are an adult), not from crypto… but from people.
So if money comes from people, it is important that you pay attention to where people hang out when they are relaxing. That used to be the mall?
People still go to the mall but you and I would agree that... not as much as they hang out on their smartphones.
I mean.... people literally take their smart phones equipped with the biggest mall ever, Amazon, into the poop room.
Be honest, there is no day that someone in your household is not receiving random shipments they forgot they purchased while pooping.
Exactly. Hence the $4.9 Trillion in global retail e-commerce sales, revenue and income; it's growing year over year in every corner of the planet even in the middle of recessions.
The question is what are you going to do about it for your own income?
All experienced business owners and entrepreneurs know this;
No leads, No money.
I personally still get tempted all the time to sell to people who do not have an existing relevant relationship with me and my product. What do I mean by relevant relationship?
Well, I have a fantastic relationship with my parents but that relationship is not relevant to my real estate educational products.
So the idea of trying to sell it to them has a high chance of failure… outside of wanting to just support.. Not a good idea of a source of income and survival right?
On these digital platforms, you are able to, not just generate leads, but quality and highly engaged leads that you can build "relevant" relationships “with respect to your product and offers” with.
There have been many studies that show that an average sale is not initiated until around the 7th touch and exposure of lead or prospect to the knowledge of the product or service.
What happens presently when they don’t buy, join or sign up for your offer during the first encounter? You lose them for life?
So in digital marketing, lead list building is encouraged first because the money is truly in the list.
Online lead generation and list building puts your business and income light years ahead of those who are on the outside of digital marketing.
One of the most beautiful and simple concepts I learned a long time ago is the SMART goals. The acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
While everyone is running around mad and lost right now due to declining GDP, digital marketing activities record everything in real time as data in presentable and easy-to-understand ways.
Why do you need that?
In case you've been living under a cave, we no longer need to know so much because of artificial intelligence and machine learning.
Quite a few people will be left behind in every type of business because of complacency and applying effort in manual and old school strategies.
Here is an example.
Over here in the east coast Tri-State New York metro, we call it the EZ-Pass; you know what I mean? The auto-pay lane for the toll gates, right?
It used to be 8 lanes with humans and 1 EZ-Pass lane when they were rolling out the technology in the early 2,000’s. Now it's the other way around; one lane with one person if any at all.
Question; what happened to the jobs of those 7 people? Please answer in the comment area below…
Well, whatever it is will happen to your business and income if you don't pivot immediately. No one is sitting at home or by their phone expecting your sales-pitch call anymore.
The data is working backwards for all old-school marketing strategies.
Digital marketing is data driven and it creates even more engagement data in real time so we are able to put energy and resources where it's more likely to create more deals, sales and income… all data, stats and facts based.
The best customers are repeat customers.
With digital marketing, you are able to track people's interest and reverse engineer it to create better offers for them to keep buying.
Not just that, you can also use the knowledge of their interest to find millions (literally) of more people with similar interests to build and scale out your business and income.
So we are talking about recurring sales, recurring customers, recurring income and passive income made more possible by digital marketing.
Something of this magnitude, just 20 years ago, would cost you a fortune to take advantage of.
The most powerful and resourceful in the world would have taken it over but their own arrogance against technology is working in the little guy’s favor.
If you have the time, you can literally jump on YouTube and learn everything for free. But it's important that you also know that "free" is the most expensive cost of anything.
And if you don't believe me, try free stuff for one year and then let's measure how far you've gone with respect to your desired results. I promise; I’m patient.
But if you believe me, we are creating a full semester (15 weeks) of everything digital marketing on-demand coaching with full one year of support.
The price is $995.
Again, you can learn all this stuff for free on YouTube.
But if you have enough experience to know that free will cost you more than $995 in one year without support, text the phrase ‘DM’ to +1 (732) 517-7532 to enroll in the next class.
Also, knowledge and information is free everywhere.
But application and optimization in order to actually generate leads, deals, clients, customers and sales is where you will find my support useful.
We are certified with Google and Facebook.
Also, we have been doing this full time for 15 years plus for our own businesses. You can see my footprint everywhere online by simply searching my name on google.
My teaching and coaching style is hands-on but on-demand still for schedule flexibility.
Digital marketing is literally all you need to stay afloat in the next recession because it follows the people; the only source of money.
By the way, you want to subscribe and turn on all your notifications right because I will be dropping more gems around the topics right here over the next few weeks that you will not want to miss. To support this video, please hit the like button one time.
"Chris, I apologize to you. My behavior was unacceptable and I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."
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- WILL SMITH - 5 Tips for an Effective Apology (ft. CHRIS ROCK)
https://lolaandola.com/will-smith-apology-video-to-chris-rock/
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- WILL SMITH - 5 Tips for an Effective Apology (ft. CHRIS ROCK)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuSPcgygiNg
So superstar $35 million Hollywood actor Will Smith finally apologized to Chris Rock on the Oscar slap and as to be expected, the whole online community is dragging him again.
On March 27th, 2022 at the 2022 Oscars, Chris Rock cracked a joke around Jada Pinkett-Smith's bald head comparing her to Demi Moore's character in the movie G.I. Jane.
Then her husband,Will Smith, laughed and in a split second, walked up to the stage and slapped the shit out of Chris Rock.
We all thought it was a joke. We all thought it was staged. We all thought it was acting. But it was real
From the beginning, I have made it clear that there are only 3 things that Will Smith has done wrong publicly and I'm sorry... it's not marrying Jada Pinkett-Smith It is...
The public is wrong about everything as usual including every attempt to involve Jada Pinkett-Smith in the Oscar slap which clearly did not involve her.
I know you all want to bring in Tupac, her daughter’s 7 years old letter to Tupac, AUG, the Jada vs Will social media banter video… lames… but nah. That’s weak.
I can't front. Involving and blaming her for her husband's mistakes seems to make videos go super viral. But over here, we are not going to do that. That's weak and toxic.
We will do it the right way by helping me hit that like button, sharing and commenting your personal opinions about this apology below this video.
As a thanks for doing that, here is a picture of Jada crying.
I have to keep applauding Chris Rock on his conduct throughout the whole ordeal.
In fact, he addressed it for the first time only a few days earlier on stage saying... "Anyone who says “words hurt” has never been punched in the face".
Anyway, Will Smith released the apology video on Friday, July 29th, 2022 and I think it's an opportunity for us to review and extract some lessons around effective apology.
I have extracted 5 tips from the 5 minutes and 44 seconds apology. So let's get to it.
So the slap happened on March 27th, 2022 and the apology came out on July 29th, 2022 which is about 4 months later. I think that's more than enough time for proper introspection.
One thing that's wrong about most apologies is the fact that they are often reflex action designed to push issues under the rug as fast as possible; it's avoidance at best.
At this point, it's obvious that Will Smith is not trying to run from his mistake. Kudos for that.
If the offense happened publicly, the apology should also be public in addition to a private discussion.
So I can appreciate this public apology except for the fact that it wasn't a written statement. Will Smith seems to be overthinking everything and then making it worse subsequently.
At this point, the public rhetoric is actively trying to tear his marriage apart due to over-exposure. It’s sad to watch… people would rather listen to and over pedestalize divorcees than those trying to make it work. It is what it is,
Anyway, anything more than a well crafted PR statement can potentially destroy his private life. It's just not necessary and it's aligning too much with approval and validation seeking behavior.
“Speaking from the heart” for a large superstar like Will Smith is overrated and not necessary.
Before you know it, you will be referencing yourself way too much and that can make your apology come off as disingenuous.
So statements such as "disappointing people is my central trauma" is not necessary as it starts to sound like it's about what he wants.
"It hurts me psychologically and emotionally to know I didn't live up to people's image and impression of me." This is that “woke” lifestyle over-shalaye mansplaining nonsense.
Apologizing to these people in the public and everything he said after that are definitely major problems.
More than enough of these weirdos on the internet are rooting and waiting for the entertainment of Jada and Will divorce.
In fact, there was a rumor like that and it almost set social media on fire.
"Chris, I apologize to you. My behavior was unacceptable and I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."
I think that part was clean especially with the addition of... and I quote.
"I want to apologize to Chris's mother."
Too many people offer apology only because they are looking for an instant exchange for forgiveness. That would make it a terrible apology instantly.
Now it's actually one thing to explicitly and expressly ask for forgiveness in words, but I think it's worse when your actions reflect it and especially contradicts your words.
So if you say "I'm here whenever you're ready to talk", then you need to say less than necessary and let the chips fall where they may.
Just trust that a few words and time is more than enough for adequate healing.
Especially as men, we need to know that nothing is guaranteed in life even if you are a good person.
When I hear a lot of men talk about this issue, all I hear is unrealistic expectations of a good woman just for being a good Mr-Nice Guy.
That’s weak. Life doesn’t always work like that.
So when Will Smith said “This is probably irreparable.” It was perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen… “no guarantees” attitude puts you at advantage of making the most out of what’s left of your life and simultaneously increasing the chances of an apology being accepted dramatically.
While I appreciate Will Smith's apology to his wife (fuck what everyone else thinks),
“I made a choice on my own, from my own experiences, from my history with Chris. Jada had nothing to do with it. I’m sorry babe.”
I think there was too much stress on apologies to the general public.
The public is not receptive to it. From all the public rhetoric and opinions I am seeing, it seems divorcing Jada will be more entertaining at this point. They are hungry for blood.
From my assessment, the public is ready to forgive Will Smith as soon as he forgives himself and gets back to what he does best; and that is not the red table talk.
Ensuring reception of an apology is part of the reason why you should take your time which was the first tip I shared with you in this countdown.
Contrary to popular conservative opinion, shame is absolutely destructive; so is self guilt.
Nothing authentic, wholesome and productive comes from anyone suffering from shame either from self or external force.
He said… and I quote “I am deeply remorseful and I’m typing to be remorseful without being ashamed of myself.” “I’m trying not to think of myself as a piece of shit.”
I can appreciate him truly believing that statement but it’s absolutely not necessary to say that out loud. Saying it out loud almost defeats the purpose.
So many people confuse remorse with shame.
Remorse is regret and maybe purposeful guilt while shame is just baseless guilt… maybe based on being overly concerned with optics.
Misguided shame, insult, guilt, judgment, blame, condemnation are all destructive.
Ultimately, this is all semantics. What I am suggesting is to make sure you are not creating a new problem with your solution.
You can call it whatever you want as long as the apology doesn't create further negative outcomes for yourself.
“If you hang on, I promise we’ll be able to be friends again.”
7 Reasons Why Your Wife Will Dis-Respect & Divorce You
https://lolaandola.com/7-reasons-why-your-wife-will-dis-respect-divorce-you/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/TrxcSke2tlg
Sadly, they are now divorced because she doesn’t respect him.
Really? Was it that simple? She was just a disrespectful wife.
Is that the whole story?
You and I know that’s not the whole story.
A wise man once said there are 3 sides to every story.
At first, she seems like the evil woman who came all the way from Ekiti, Nigeria to destroy his life based on his story.
Honestly, we are still not calling that a lie.
But after listening long enough, and that… in combination with the experience we have handling these types of cases, it was obvious that there were at least another 9,999 sides to this story.
But we had to listen long enough to hear it between the lines and the nuances.
Just a little over 8 years ago, after turning 42 years old, Maxwell decided that he had to be a little more proactive with settling down and building a family.
As you can imagine, he had dealt with a fleet of other ladies in London, who he deemed belonged in the streets and weren’t wife or marriage material.
You are probably wondering how he figured that out to be so? Well, they all dumped him because of what he described in very similar patterns.
It usually started as arguments that had nothing to do with their relationship… at least that’s what he thought.
For example, in the case of the last lady he dated, they argued about why he thinks women should not be seen hanging out with other single women at a lounge on a Wednesday evening.
I am sure you consider that to be a reasonable assertion right?
But then maybe not…
Anyway, the argument was just a simple debate according to Maxwell that happened 2 days after the lady… his ex-girlfriend had received a call from a colleague to hang out after hours.
As far as he was concerned, it wasn’t a big deal since it wasn’t about their relationship together.
A few weeks later, he noticed he wasn’t happy with what he calls the constantly combative attitude of the girl.
Las las… she asked for space and he can’t find himself begging and negotiating desire.
We agree completely that desire cannot be negotiated.
But then, all 5 or 6 intimate relationships he created before going to find a wife from the village were laced with these similar patterns of honest conversations leading to these women asking for space.
… dumping him.
They just want to act irresponsibly like single women who have no one to be accountable to. Those were his words.
So he figured that women who were raised the way he was raised more than 30 years ago were raised just like him; traditional.
One conversation with an Uncle led to a few weeks of conversation with a young 22 years old lady in Ikere Ekiti.
18 months later, she is now living in London with him and 4 months pregnant.
So everything should be fine right?
Compatible… Traditional… groomed to be a wife…. pregnant immediately… he was now 44 years old and finally settling down with his own family.
Yea that was the plan.
According to Maxwell, she wasn’t for the streets… but she was too opinionated. And to add insult to injury, she doesn’t know when to just shut the hell up.
After searching on Google, he finally realized that women are just evil if they can’t provide sex, a sandwich and shut the hell up.
I mean… think about it… That sounds simple right?
We had heard enough so we decided to push back and ask him some thought provoking questions.
It wasn’t long until Maxwell insinuated that we were taking sides. I can’t lie. That was actually predictable.
At around the 7th year mark of their marriage, she served Maxwell with divorce papers.
Of course, if you’ve been paying attention to his patterns, he wouldn’t beg or negotiate desires.
That which we agree with… but there is a disconnect in all of these.
If you notice, we haven’t really disagreed with many of Maxwell’s methods. But we can all agree that he has not created any of his desired results.
Question of the day.
Is he just not that lucky?
What are your thoughts? How do you think he could have kept his home together?
Please share in the comment area.
Right now, we want to share 7 patterns in those stories that lead to Maxwell’s terrible love story so that you can avoid it without dependence on luck.
Let us know in the comment area if you want us to expound more on these 7 reasons.
All 7 of these will make a woman disrespect you.
I know there is a woman that will attempt to unintentionally set men up by reminding us that a woman is supposed to be respectful regardless.
Sure. But that’s not the reality.
You can avoid reality all you want, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
At the end of the day, we are talking about a romantic relationship where both parties let their guard down from the ideology of full blown intentional adults.
So there is a way you move as a man and your wife will typically have no choice but to respect or disrespect you; both intentionally and unintentionally.
Does that sound unfair? So be it. Welcome to the real world.
If you are still complaining about that reality, it’s little to no wonder why you are attracting the result you are creating.
Maybe… just maybe… you may want to adjust.
5 Ways To Flip Pre-Foreclosure Listings To Cold CA$H
https://myempirepro.com/blog/5-ways-flip-pre-foreclosure-listings-cold-cah/
Wanna learn the 5 ways to flip pre-foreclosure listings to cold cash? This is what happens when you fully grasp the comprehension of value as related to income.
While pre-foreclosure is misfortune for distressed property owners, you are able to not just flip it to cold cash, you are also able to flip their sorrow to relief.
That's the value.
Over here, we talk about making money in real estate even if you are not licensed, have no big cash for capital, have bad credit or have no experience.
One of the easiest ways to do that is by learning how to work a pre-foreclosure list. Have you ever heard the saying that “money is in the list”?
We are not talking about how to buy a pre-foreclosure. That part is easy.
All you have to do is put a call out to a real estate agent and have these things ready… your $1,000 deposit, $20,000 in closing cost and deposit balance and good credit to obtain a mortgage.
Many homeowners with properties in pre-foreclosure have admitted to the need to sell and the first people they tend to call is a real estate agent for obvious reasons.
Everyone does the same thing and that's exactly why it's not the best strategy if you are looking to wholesale pre-foreclosure for quick profit if you are not licensed, have no big cash for capital, have bad credit or do not have any experience.
Instead, in this lesson, I want to share 5 ways to flip pre-foreclosure listings to cold cash.
There are two contexts that support what pre-foreclosure listings are.
It's been listed like a regular house for sale to be sold hopefully before the house gets foreclosed on. You can actually see many of these houses on Zillow.
That's not the pre-foreclosure listings that I am talking about.
Basically, the house is heading for foreclosure which is a legal process in which a lender attempts to recover the balance of a loan from a borrower who has stopped making payments to the lender by forcing the sale of the asset used as the collateral for the loan; the property.
So learning how to work pre-foreclosure listings for profit is a hack that I picked up back in 2005 and it made me lots of money. I also made tons of mistakes along the way which I will help you avoid right now.
We use a strategy called wholesale real estate which is the art and science of finding deeply discounted properties and securing it as a deal for investors with cold cash.
The marketing message is simple. "We Buy Houses." Not you personally but your endless network of buyers which I will show you how to access at the end of this video.
Without any further ado, let's countdown the 5 different ways.
Pre-foreclosure listings can be found for free in the public records section at your county recorder's office. These days, many of the counties have them in online portals where you can download, name, property address and the lien details.
Many of these online portals are not user friendly or designed for easy download and processing to be flipped to cold cash. Many people are still watching old training videos and manually editing spreadsheets.
Can you make money that way? Yes. But I highly doubt it.
If you are lucky enough to get through the process of downloading the pre-foreclosure listings from the county recorder's online portal if that exists at all, you can then jump in your car and drive around town to knock on these doors in order to offer to buy the properties.
If you've followed me over the last 12 years, you probably already know how I feel about this campaign or contact strategy. If you are not sure, watch the video I released before this right after finishing.
Skip trace is the process of locating a person's whereabouts.
In the context of real estate investing and wholesaling, it's the process of finding their virtual contact information such as phone numbers and email addresses without leaving your house.
In this time and age, knowledge and information are cheap but time is a luxury. So it's important to conduct any business profitable with less time... leverage.
Finding a property owner's contact information without having to burn time driving around to go knock on doors only to get rejected most of the time is just not smart.
It’s not S.M.A.R.T.
Instead, you can spend as low as 20 cents to get additional contact data such as phone number per record and cold call or contact these homeowners to pique their interest in selling.
Can you make money this way? Absolutely. But not as likely as the next way I want to share with you.
Again, this is another level higher than the previous way. With this way, you can jump on a job board such as indeed or upwork and hire a virtual assistant who will collect and process the data in your pre-foreclosure listings and do the cold calling.
If you want to build a business, you need to leverage other people's time to go through the process so that you can align your personal energy and efforts with the actual business goals.
$82,000 highest net profit on a single deal, averaging $15,000 - $30,000 per deal.
Closed my first wholesale real estate deal in December 2005 with a $10,000 net profit right out of college with bad credit, no money for capital, no experience and no license.
This is OLA. 2 times author… Smart Real Estate Wholesaling and Real Estate Money Secrets.
I am doing an 11 days coaching challenge if you want to be the next with similar results in 7 simple steps starting right now.
The first of the 7 steps is to text the word ‘ACTIVATE’ to me at (732) 517-7532 and I will text the 2nd step to you right away.
Don't forget to like and share this video with a friend.
It's not about leveraging just other people's time, you should also be leveraging systems and software to collect pre-foreclosure listings data and processing it.
With a smart data driven system, you can even automate all of the 5 stages from data to deal in a smart way.
What is a smart way?
SMART is a well-established tool that you can use to plan and achieve your goals... in this case, the goals being collecting and flipping pre-foreclosure listings to cold cash.
SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.
I promised earlier that I will show you how to access buyers that automatically qualifies you as legitimate and able buyer if you know how to find deals.
Rewind this video a few minutes and take advantage of the first step of the 7 steps right now.
First of all, this is a stupid question.
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
https://lolaandola.com/infidelity-woman-set-husband-on-fire-for-cheating-when-will-men-learn/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/bKo_xipKpXo
According to Punch News, the man was deleted by his wife who set him ablaze after a conflict.
A family member of the victim said that the woman locked her husband up and set the house on fire over suspicion of an extra-marital affair.
That's the story and particularly that's all I need to know about the story. The part where a whole human life was deleted.
Until… of course… internet trolls started running their mouths carelessly.
By the way…
A quick shout out to my sister Bridget of Obodo Oyinbo TV where I was allowed to be a guest to discuss my personal observations and opinion of whether Red Pill-ed men are husband material or not.
I didn't go there as an expert. I went there as an observer of the red pill community with a personal opinion but also as a man who is blessed with results that many men desire.
To say the least, it was interesting. Just go ahead and search for “Obodo Oyinbo TV” on YouTube and support her. She is an extremely generous supporter of our platforms.
Back to this infidelity slash cheating slash human deletion story. Crazy right?
I personally heard a significant number of women saying he deserved to be roasted because he cheated on his lady.
Can you imagine a person who talks like this creating any good romantic experience for themselves and others in this life?
Answer me in the comment area below....
Some men said women should prepare for the fact that all men will cheat. Is that the solution to preventing these types of stories between lovers?
What exactly is the solution here without pretending that we don’t know that these people were once romantic lovers?
Most people having these conversations online continue to talk from their ass because they never acknowledge that these are or were romantic relationships where they never planned to end up in a terrible predicament.
They also never acknowledge how they could personally relate with these stories.
I will be forced to wonder if you are a coward even if you are right that the internet is not a safe space to speak your mind.
What is it about infidelity and cheating that will make you say stupid things that doesn't serve you or anyone listening?
To be clear again, that question "When will men learn?" is a stupid question.
Any question designed to ignite the epidemic of the digital gender war with or without good intentions and from men or women is a stupid question.
Gentlemen, endless subtle competition with women will always put you at a disadvantage.
Arguing with women with respect to romantic matters puts you below women; not equal but below.
I understand the over-reactive rhetoric against fake feminism a.k.a toxicity, but just like in a real life relationship, over-reaction are actions you are responsible for.
And like I said, it puts you at a disadvantage.
Gentlemen, you are indirectly subscribing to equality in romance, relationships and marriage when you engage endless arguments with women.
It doesn't work particularly because it discounts the complimentary strength in romantic relationships significantly.
How do you compliment each other if you are equal? That already sounds stupid right?
It is true. Two things can be true at the same time. But I am looking at this from a place of mindset abundance and/or scarcity. It's just a question to ask yourself.
Here is an example of statements that tells me that you as a man will think of yourself as equal to your woman and effectively become a loser that she will potentially dump.
And I quote...
"If you are going to judge a man based on his gender, you as a woman should expect the same thing from the men."
Let me guess. This is accountability right? False.
This is just a man who talks too damn much. This is a man who has already lost respect hence the cry out in the wrong direction for help.
I get it… Anyone, including women, could find that statement to be reasonable and harmless. But it is harmful to your mindset.
It is even more harmful for a man who talks like this from a place of ignorance, lack of experience and good intentions.
Good intentions are overrated.
You need wisdom and humility because your lens, filters and outlook on life have dangerous limitations especially when it comes to romantic relationships and marriage.
Oh... it's even worse if you are listening to Pick-Me women influencers encouraging you to hold your ground as a "MASCULINE STOIC" man. It's a set up. That’s weak.
If you don't believe me, marry one of them and I'm patient to discuss the outcome.
Masculinity with respect to romance and the human experience is rarely physical. It's energy. Invisible energy for the most part. And again, it's not the woman's responsibility to know that.
Let’s get back to the story.
The question "When will MEN learn?" was designed to leverage this terrible human deletion story to shame men who still believe in the family structure by way of the marriage institution into perpetual fear of women.
The shame is mostly coming from both men and women who have had terrible and traumatic experiences in romantic relationships.
It's "misery love company" syndrome at best.
I am sorry. There are stupid questions.
The outcome of asking such questions only perpetuates toxic rhetoric for those who may not be necessarily toxic but have real questions about love, relationships, marriage, cheating, infidelity etc.
Why is the question not…
“When will we as humans learn better ways of navigating romantic relationships that we obviously want, evident by our action not by the product of intellectual diarrhea on social media?
This story is not as relevant to poly or monogamy practice as much as we are making it. Those are practices by choice and not cowardice.
It’s also not as relevant to infidelity, cheating or any other obvious bad habits or behavior as they are making it.
Humans have bad behavior. Where is the surprise?
Also why did what I just said sound like encouraging bad behavior to you? If that's you, answer me in the comment area… but more importantly, answer the person in the mirror.
As for this story, that woman committed a capital crime. What leads to it is irrelevant once we start talking about a matter of life and life deletion.
This woman, sadly like many people walking around, was probably a watermelon mentally… green on the outside and red inside.
People are carrying a lot of toxic mental weight so you can agree that we should be aware that we can potentially offend the wrong people.
That does not give anyone the right to delete another person's life. It just makes sense to be aware.
For you and I, it's about knowing that anger is temporary insanity and you can create irreversible damages or at least self-sabotage.
This is about mental health; not for the criminal (it's too late for her) but for you and I.
As I was saying earlier, I heard men telling women to prepare for the fact that all men will cheat.
As a man, preparing women to enter marriage with the expectation that a man will cheat puts you at a much bigger disadvantage than just the effect of cheating; your bad behavior.
Can’t you see?
She may be weak enough to enter that marriage in spite of the warning but she will be on the edge in the marriage…
What enjoyment do you expect in a marriage where your woman is always on the edge, never feels safe and secure around you?
Instead of worrying about the nature or nurture of cheating and infidelity, you are better off putting that energy in preparing to create a safe space especially emotionally for your wife.
Ladies.. Yes we like to feel safe too.
I know that most people that spend a lot of time on conversations for or against cheating and infidelity are not cheaters; at least not chronic perpetual cheaters.
So at best, you are self sabotaging, talking so much about how you will never accept it or how you plan to tell women that you will cheat.
By the way, when you tell her up front, that's no longer considered cheating.
Your mouth will create an emotionally unsafe environment for your future marriage to thrive.
What I found interesting but not surprising during the whole discussion was the fact that no one talked about the emotional, psychological and mental state that could have created the story.
There was no shortage of empathy, sympathy, proclamation of what people will NEVER accept even though there is an obvious lack of experience to accurately assess that.
There was useless advice on what type of man and woman to run away from. The problem is that these things are not written on the forehead.
Most people entering marriage are not preparing for the inevitable crisis and conflict that will hit every marriage; and single life.
That’s even if you think the solution is to avoid marriage and long term relationships.
If you are going to still have sex, you will end up in the courts and become another traumatic cancer for the society.
By the way, they are conflicts because they often come from blind spots.
If you say you will never accept a cheater, congrats. That problem is solved. The devil, however, knows not to come for you from a cheating standpoint.
Anyway, Instead of the typical nonsense from long-stroking influencers who are just in this to make money, I want to encourage you to prepare to maintain a healthy mental stability for the rest of your life.
I want you to know that anyone is capable of losing their mind… particularly mentally... and especially people who tend to be obsessed with ideologies, faith, culture, religion with no wisdom around application and relationships.
You cannot control other people. Stop trying. You can only control yourself and then subsequently or hopefully influence the results you are looking for in life.
I don’t think a normal person will literally roast another person. I don’t think another human is capable of making another human commit such an act either.
However we are all influencing ourselves directly and indirectly. I think she became crazy, lost her mind and committed a capital crime.
For her, everything before the crime doesn’t matter. She is done in this society.
Learn how to leave a toxic relationship before your tipping point is obvious… leave first… it doesn’t have to be a permanent decision.
If you can’t leave because of fear… that’s obviously a bigger problem; lack of self-respect, self-love, self-esteem, self-confidence.
Stop pouring from an empty cup.
Is being assertive more attractive to a husband?
So my husband ended up on our sister... Aunty Bridget's platform; Obodo Oyinbo TV. She was discussing "Lack of Eligible Bachelors in the Diaspora."
--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE
https://lolaandola.com/the-assertive-wife-the-pro-3-cons/
--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE
https://youtu.be/Z42WN0SKJzs
Though the discussion took a whole new turn in the direction of why it's absolutely single women's fault in this time and age for having a hard time finding eligible and competent husbands, one of the highlights was the ladies trying to sell the idea of the assertive wife.
What really happened?
So one of the highlights of that debate was the assertive wife. What does it mean to be assertive?
The definition from Oxford as displayed on Google says "having or showing a confident and forceful personality."
Those are two things.
Can you see why dictionary meanings are a terrible guide to romantic relationships and marriage just as much as common sense is?
Yes. They are usually full of assumptions, presumptions and often reflect only one side of reality.
In romantic relationships and marriage, the reality is that there are at least two realities because the parties tend to experience the relationship differently.
Yurp! I was listening in the background at first as they debated if being assertive is an attractive trait for a woman... especially a woman who wants to become a wife.
There was some confusion with regards to if some of these women truly want to be wives or not. When I hear people say things like "not all women want to be married" or "I'm not desperate to marry", it leaves me with... okayyyyyyy.....
YES! While no one should be desperate to marry, single people also have to be careful with indirectly planning not to marry if the reality is far from what is being expressed.
What is being said by you as a quote on quote "Assertive People" can absolutely steal your chances of true joy... not just marriage but in general even if you have no bad intentions.
While certain statements can be true, I would be left to wonder why anyone who does not want to be married or feel like they don't have to be married would be involved so passionately in conversations about marriage.
Just a question…
NEWSFLASH: She flirted with me... but she did not TOAST me...
And I promise it was the sexiest thing ever because it felt like confidence.
The worst thing ever is a low self-esteem woman, wife or wife-to-be with symptoms revealing itself as a concoction of assertiveness and just being plain rI could be wrong but I would bet that this mindset will help repel the manifestation of a husband or marriage. Our mindset as humans has its way of becoming our reality.
Exactly! That could very much be a disadvantage of being an assertive person.
There are many assertive wives with good intentions mixed with a little frustration but low levels of emotional intelligence.
Their actions showcase more of how they feel inside more so than their words which only showcases a stronghold of an opinion... even asserting an honest opinion does not necessarily equals the absence of a disrespectful attitude.
Oftentimes, there is a disconnect between our feelings and our expressed opinions.
It's not necessarily the intentions. Just something to be self-aware of especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
Innocent assertiveness doesn't guarantee that a honest well-intent husband or husband-to-be will not receive your well-intent assertions as disrespectful; these are emotions.
What else did they talk about?
They talked about flirting and many of the ladies were confusing flirting with coming off as easy and desperate.
Ladies… If you want us to share some flirting tips where you don't have to come off as desperate to a man... you can request in the comment area.
ude.
Yes! I understand assertiveness is supposedly "a healthy way of communicating and the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful."
That's cute. That's the intention part of it. A romantic partner you care about, because of reasons beyond you, can receive it as disrespectful.
You will put yourself as a disadvantage if you argue with this.
Sure you can say that's their problem. But because this is a romantic relationship and not a contest or a competition, that becomes your problem by default too.
It's not your fault. It's just an emotional dynamic you are better off being aware of.
Is this insecurity on an intimidated man's part?
Yes! And that's not a crime. All humans have insecurity and we are never 100% secure in ourselves. Insecurity is like our shadow. We can't run from it.
What we don't want is an unhealthy level of insecurity, indications being consistent revelation in many aspects of a controlling and abusive relationship. This is best addressed with the help of a counselor and not by running from it.
If anything, it can also be a powerful thing, a point of leverage and seduction to know that the way you move as a woman and a wife can start to make your man feel mildly insecure.
But yes… too much of it will make you feel unsafe as a woman.
True. A lot of women tend to look at insecure men as intimidated. It can be dangerous rhetoric and here is why.
It means you are starting to look at the man as weak. Most women are not attracted to weak men even if it's ordinarily a perspective and not reality.
While you can feel like you dodge a bullet avoiding an insecure man if you are in the wife-to-be stage, you are going to end up feeling not-so-lucky when your future husband gets hit with an inevitable life crisis.
That makes a man question himself and his manhood. A symptom of that is insecurity and it's not always obvious it's not about you or your fault.
If you are inclined to accuse him of being intimidated, you will then make things worse for you as a couple and your marriage.
You can help destroy your marriage just like that.
True! For many of us women, there is nothing sexier than an assertive husband who can speak up for himself in a loving and respectful way.
I don't care how truthful and honest you are. If it feels like evil to me, you go collect.
Wortorwotor! So a well-intent assertive wife does not come off as a respectful wife. But it can also reflect confidence in a man and confidence is always sexy.
It's not about the semantics of being assertive. It's about how your husband or husband-to-be is receiving you emotionally on the other end of the romance from a reasonable standpoint.
With that being said, some men are coming from terrible experiences and are actively looking for disrespect unintentionally so they will find the slightest confidence or assertiveness as disrespectful.
These things are to be handled case-by-case. Avoid generalizations. You and I would agree that a forceful personality in the name of assertiveness just doesn’t sound pleasant.
There are 21 verses that describe a wife of noble character in Proverb 31. It’s fair that one word “assertive” has its limitations.
First of all, what is body count?
It’s simply the number of men a woman has had consensual sexual intercourse with in her lifetime… at least that’s what most of the conversation accounts for; women.
https://lolaandola.com/body-count-should-you-tell-a-man-does-it-matter-to-a-real-man/
In recent times, there has been an increasing reference to body counts when people talk about dating, relationships and marriage.
What exactly is going on? Let me tell you a story.
I counseled a young man. 32 years old who happens to be with a 26 years girlfriend.
His issue narrows down to being uncomfortable and insecure sometimes after noticing that his girlfriend’s story as related to body count is not consistent.
He really wants to know the truth but as a fact of life, he will never know the truth because of the inconsistency in her story.
What’s her real body count? Is it 4 or 7 as she previously stated? He will continue to wonder.
I asked him why he couldn’t just leave this girl… there was never a straight answer so it’s safe to conclude that he didn’t have the balls to leave like most modern men.
But guess what… his girl wants some space now… And I quote…
“It’s not you. It’s me. I lost myself. I need to find myself and then we can talk.”
Damn. las las las las… na everybody go chop breakfast… shayooooo
Let’s bust some myths around body count.
Ladies. The truth is that you already don’t feel safe with this particular guy we are talking about.
If you do, it will effortlessly roll off your tongue before you remember the promise you gave yourself to never share.
Not just that. You also are not too proud of your body count as a lady. You are not abnormal.
As off press time, it’s pretty normal for a lady to keep this type of information sacred.
How much more… with the idea of sharing it with a man you don’t feel safe and secure with.
In fact, I think a woman that out-rightly tells the true body count “willy nilly” is a red flag at an emotional level.
I know I just triggered someone.
At the surface, it’s honesty and transparency but when real life starts happening, it can translate to so many other emotional turmoils.
If you want me to expound more on this, do tell in the comment area below.
I am guessing that it does or it is starting to matter even more; hence your question.
Many progressive minded “live and let live” types of people would say it doesn’t matter
"Do what works for you?" I've found also that's just as much an extreme stupidity and not reality.
Others who may be conservative (especially modern men camouflaged as traditional) would claim it does matter…
Citing reasons that don’t hold water such as high body count leading to:
Someone asked…”what about the blood of Jesus? haha.”
Some modern men even say men have always wanted a virgin. This is not exactly true. Some people don't really give a shit unless the ladies lifestyle is making it that obvious.
This is a lame man's talk and precisely because they talk too damn much these days... with the whole mouth. Wise men don't talk like this.
What about the moral compass that created these weird ass excuses to be obsessed with a stranger's body count?
At this point, I have a question for you.
Many “modern men” claim this is just an honest consideration when you are vetting a woman to marry. Yea right. sure!
But isn’t there a difference between consideration and obsession?
Please drop your answer in the comment box below.
I can definitely agree that it means territory for most guys.
The problem with modern men is their weird and weak methods of marking that territory.
When you really listen deeply to the underlying emotions of the 10 weird reasons I highlighted earlier, that’s a man trying to mark his territory with insecurity and flawed logic.
Here is why it won’t work.
The woman is an incubator and she will multiply that insecurity and everything that a man brings to her…naturally; the product is negative.
If you argue with this reality, you will surfer.
Have you noticed that this body count rhetoric tends to attract accusations of misogyny, fragile ego, small dick (especially when you run around social claiming that body count leads to a sunk vagina... like a borehole.) and etc.
I even heard a woman say "...at this rate, I’m convinced men have vaginas too.” Damn...
Gentlemen... How you feel about body count is valid but we have to come up with better arguments.
A lot of men on the men's side of this conversation are attempting to control another human in 2022 and beyond. It doesn't work.
If you don't understand the difference between maintaining your power with influence as against control, you will suffer.
I've also seen enough modern women, the only type of woman that exists today by the way, trying to tell modern men that body count doesn't matter.
Well, it's not really about body count. It's a sense of territory.
Forcefully linking body count to killing pair bonding abilities and promiscuity without individualizing it will continue to put you at disadvantage.
The real simp uses every conversation about body counts to get triggered. They don't stop at shaming women in general. They move to shame any man who attempts to hold them accountable.
"Simping won’t get you female approval."
"Stop trying to be a panty collector."
...all in the same breath of booty clapping for other men and trying to save prostitutes in order to change them to housewives.
As usual, results and time will tell us the real truth and who the real simps are.
Scarcity mindset is a cancer that spreads very fast to other aspects of life. If you don't believe me, I am patient. I will wait.
The modern man is scared shitless of their woman imagining another man fucking them while fucking…
Nothing good comes out of operating out of fear. You will hurt yourself emotionally attempting to catch all the information in a romantic relationship.
1st rule: Relax.
If you want me to address this more, hit the thumbs up and indicate in the comment below.
We can address questions like:
What’s a good body count for a girl?
What's the average body count for a 20 year old woman?
What is a high body count for a guy?
What body count is too high for a girl?
Does body count matter for a woman?
Why is a high body count a turn off?
Does body count have the same effect on the genders?
For now, I will leave you with this. If you have to explicitly ask a girl what her body count is in order to have a good idea, you deserve to be told a lie because she will.
Women don't count every body anyway. Not all bodies count for women. You are fooling yourself if you are obsessed with body count. But it doesn't mean it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
If you want, indicative by the response to this video with the like button and your comments below, I will dive into the social, spiritual and emotional side of this conversation.
Can you make $10,000 per month knocking on doors in your neighborhood with a simple script of exactly what to say to pre-foreclosures? Yes. That's exactly what I am about to share with you in this video.
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https://myempirepro.com/blog/?p=5597
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But first, please go ahead and like, share and subscribe to this channel and I will be sharing more videos around this topic.
Also, use the comment area below to let me know if there is anything specific you want me to cover in the next video.
We are talking about pre-foreclosure in real estate and how to make $10,000 per month with it. What the heck is pre-foreclosure?
Pre-foreclosure is the first phase of a legal proceeding that ultimately can conclude in a property being repossessed from a defaulted mortgage loan borrower.
Default means that the monthly mortgage payments are stopped due to some type of life crisis.
The lender of the mortgage loan files a notice of default on the property in pre-foreclosure because the borrowing owner exceeds the contractual terms for delinquent payments.
That's typically about 60-90 days. It depends on what state the subject property is located.
If we are lucky enough to have you as a subscriber on this platform, you know we talk a lot about a real estate money making strategy called wholesale real estate where you do not need cash for capital, good credit, experience or license to make money.
We simply use marketing campaigns to find deeply discounted properties, lock them up under a purchase contract and sell the equitable rights in the contract to an end buyer who is typically an investor who wants to fix it up and resell for profits.
Based on my personal experience, you can make up to $82,000 from one single deal, average $15,000 to $30,000 and make as low as nothing on a deal.
“Making nothing” has happened to me once ever since 2005 because of unforeseen circumstances.
Wholesale real estate as a 5 stages process from data to deal starts with... you guessed it... DATA.
Precisely, we are talking about data of distressed homeowners. One of such types of data is pre-foreclosure.
It's safe to assume that a home listed at the county government building on the public pre-foreclosure list represents a nightmare to the homeowner; hence the phrase "distressed homeowner".
Access to pre-foreclosure data also represents the beginning of fortunes for anyone who knows how to turn the concept of “data to deals” to a system that can be used, rinse and repeat over and over again.
This is a money making strategy that I stumbled into while I was in the middle of my masters degree program (Engineering Management) back in 2005.
I went on to turn it into a system (which included a script) that made me so much money before the market crash in 2008. At the time, I didn't appreciate the power of the scripts and the system I had created... not until another 6 years (2014).
At the time of recording this, there is a recession looming that has not been officially announced yet but the reality is that the latest report from the Bureau of Labor and Statistics reports a 9.1% inflation rate — the highest since 1981.
Because of this system that has now been refined and cleaned up with my experience and the availability of technology, I won't be making the same mistake I made back in 2008.
With turning pre-foreclosure to profits through the stages...
Stage 1 - Data
Stage 2 - Contact
Stage 3 - Leads
Stage 4 - Contract
Stage 5 - Leads
This is the time to take this business seriously and get off the sidelines. The opportunities are endless for you and I to take advantage of.
Please be safe out there but here is the script for door knocking pre-foreclosure:
If you get a "NO" on any of those questions, simply thank them for their time and don't forget to ask for referrals. "Oh okay. Thanks for your time, do you know anyone that needs to get rid of any unwanted property?"
Don't give up so soon. Give them a business card in case they need to reach out if they encounter anyone... you never know.
Now... door knocking is an old school way of closing your first deal and many more after. But there is also a new school way of doing it.
Door knocking is a contact stage outreach campaign strategy that works but there is a big challenge here and I want to carefully spell it out for you.
Before I do that, if door knocking is working for you or has worked for you, all you have to do is to keep doing what you are doing and leave this video right now.
But if it has never worked for you or you just have a feeling based on your prediction that it won't work for you,
..or you want to scale your business faster, easier and simpler leveraging simple technology,
The good news is that there are at least 3 new school ways of attracting even better quality distressed homeowners and motivated seller leads that already know they want to give away their house to you.
The big challenge of door knocking as a contact outreach campaign is if you are willing to keep working until it works or if you will quit before it works. Big question right?
Share your thoughts below in the comment area please
Before you leave, be sure to access my 2 books for free:
Smart real estate wholesaling and Real Estate Money secrets... at www.smartrealestatewholesaling.com
You will also get an invite to access my exclusive membership...at the time of recording this video at just $1. You will be able to access 2 different coaching programs that normally cost a minimum of $2,500 each.